It’s great to see Zeke Elliott out tearing up the Dallas St. Patty’s Day parade because (A.) He’s young and the NFL has a bunch of guys who don’t party in public, which gets boring (B.) Johnny can’t carry us week in and week out (C.) Zeke always seems to have a pack of wild chicks with him who don’t mind pulling down their shirts for the boys.
And for you pussies tweeting me acting like it’s some absurd thing to ask who the chick is in the video, stop being pussies. These IG chicks want notoriety. We give it to them. Next pussy who complains that BC gives these chicks notoriety is getting blocked, reported, etc.
Let’s say you went skiing this winter and misjudged a patch of ice. Let’s say thanks to that miscalculation, your ski went one way but your knee went another, and now they’re telling you not to do any more pivot activities or you might tear your meniscus too and get arthritis before you turn 30. And that’s not even…
Finding Prince Charming was the Logo network’s version of The Bachelor. The only difference being that “the bachelor” in this case is Robert Sepúlveda Jr., a gay dude looking for other dudes. You could consider it a success in that it proved to the viewers at home that gay guys en masse could and can be just as demented, thirsty and messy as any other reality television social grouping. Then again, it was Logo, so there were probably only (a few) gay guys watching. And we already knew that.
One of the more interesting Finding Prince Charming contestants was Chad Spodick. Chad is a young real estate agent from NYC who seemed to lack the emotional equipment necessary to take part in a reality show dating competition. Either that or the editors decided to make him “the batshit crazy one.” Chad was forever crying and referencing conspiracies against him, referring to “canaries” who were whispering negative things about him to Prince Charming behind his back. In his defense, there were a few, but everyone was doing that to everyone. But yeah, he had a canary fixation. You expected Tweety Bird to pop up to tell him to cut the shit.
Well, Chad didn’t make it to the finale. In fact, he had his final on-camera meltdown at the end of the sixth episode. Hurling his black tie down (don’t ask, it’s silly) and storming off, he admitted that he might have had a “nervous breakdown” due to Prince Charming being “disingenuous.” Well, it looks like his opinion hasn’t changed. The show is over and they’ve had the inevitable final reunion episode with Chad still feeling salty. Chad took his canister of Morton’s Salt to Instagram and wrote a lloonnnggg post about “Prince Charming.” Let’s drink some tea!
Chad claims that the prince is still hooking! (Oh, did I mention that Sepúlveda Jr. confirmed to People that he’s worked as an escort? He did. Oh, who hasn’t? Look, my car needed new brake pads. We’ve all been there.)
How about being authentic that you’re still hooking. It’s been proven many times that you are.
Chad claims that the prince isn’t an “interior designer” as he claims to be!
Also branding yourself as an “interior designer” when we all know that is a completely, and poorly, manufactured FAKE business, I mean, your portfolio speaks for itself.
Chad claims that the prince is a thief!
How about coming clean that you embezzled over $ 40K from the Atlanta rainbow crosswalks project. I just happen to be friends with some of the donors. They want their money back! I just happen to be friends with some of the donors. They want their money back! Also, stealing Rolex’s off the nightstand of your hookups.
Chad claims that the prince wants Tina to eat the cake!
How about being authentic about the fact that you have physically abused your partners in every relationship that you have had, including and not limited to launching blunt objects at their head, like a computer.
Oh, and there’s more. You can read the whole rant below or go here. In closing, Chad is insinuating that Robert Sepúlveda Jr. is what would happen if Hitler got knocked up by Satan. The best part is that Chad closes with: “Peace out you sociopathic ho!” That’s how I’m going to end things the next time a cashier hands me my change ON TOP of the bills in my hand, so it rolls to either side of my palm and drops onto the counter and then the floor (I hate that.)
On a more personal note, I work with someone at my day job who is friends with Chad in real life. He claims that Chad is a sweet, regular, down-to-earth guy who didn’t start babbling about canaries and melting down on social media until he went on a reality television show. Can we agree that reality television ruins lives? And countries?