Coach Gruden Stops By To Tell Us Some Incredible Football Stories…Seriously…It’s Coach Gruden

Jon Gruden’s an Ohio guy. Born in Sandusky. Played college ball (barely, as he acknowledges) at Dayton. Football guys guy. His dad was an Ohio football guy and once coached at Fremont High School, about an hour southeast of Toledo. Jon once installed a Raiders offensive package for Charles Woodson called “Fremont.”

Of course Gruden was the perfect interview for Uncle BC. I live in this area where the Grudens have deep ties. I have Ohio questions for days. I even brought in Michigan Man Bellino (@ACBellinofrom the growing BC Friday Show on Facebook to handle the hosting duties for this one because this will pretty much become a feather in his broadcasting career.

He’ll be using this forever.

What did we learn from Coach Gruden:

• Keep your tailgating simple. Cold Corona, burgers, good tunes

• Coach tells us why, in 1984, that he wanted to become the University of Michigan football coach

• We also learned how many pushups his son, Deuce, would need to spot him in a pushup contest

• And maybe my favorite nugget, we get a story about Coach Gruden climbing on a motel roof to watch a practice and what happened when the coach saw him up there

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Zendaya Uses the Teen Choice Awards to Tell Young People to Stop All the Hate

Zendaya took home the award (er, surf board) for choice Summer movie actress for her role in Spider-Man: Homecoming at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday night, and she made sure to use her time on stage very wisely. The 20-year-old actress, who stunned on the red carpet, spoke directly to every young person watching and addressed the horrifying violence that occurred in Charlottesville, VA over the weekend.

«With all the injustice and the hatred, not only in the world but in our country . . . I need you to be educated, I need you to listen, I need you to pay attention,» she said. «I need you go ahead and understand that you have a voice and it’s OK to use it when you see something bad happening. So make sure you do not let people tell you what you think you should feel. You’re the future leaders of the world . . . you’re the future presidents, the future senators. You are the future so take that very, very seriously.» Well said, Zendaya.

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Which Is Which? 4 Ways to Tell Cole and Dylan Sprouse Apart

If you watched the Disney Channel as a kid in the ’00s, you probably remember Cole and Dylan Sprouse from The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. The brothers were born on Aug. 2, 1992, and are identical twins, but that still doesn’t mean they are carbon copies of each other. In fact, Dylan is the older brother since he was born first. While it’s certainly easier to tell them apart now thanks to Cole’s dark hairdo, there was a time when it was almost impossible. Here are the easiest ways to tell the Sprouse twins apart.

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Patti LaBelle Is Here To Tell Basics To Take A Seat (Hint: Everyone’s Basic)

Patti LaBelle opens the Third Annual National Women's Lung Health Week at Grand Central Terminal

Aretha Franklin did all us pupils at the Skewl of Camp a favor earlier this year when it came out that she faxed over her true thoughts to Dionne Warwick over some lingering beef from Whitney Houston’s funeral. The throwback use of communication would normally deter a normal soul from lobbying any jabs, but no-no, henny. Ms. Patti LaBelle is no normal being, and she’s regretting that gel manicure she got on Monday because it’s Wednesday, and she’s ready to (subtly) sink her claws in to Miss A-Screech-a Franklin.

PrideSource has a habit of landing scorched-earth interviews with Ms. LaBelle, and – hallelujer – she did not hold back this go-round. Back in 2014, she cooed how she no longer deemed herself a diva because the term was synonymous with a bargain sale at Big Lots, because “all these little heifers who can’t sing are called divas.” Patti has a jazz album, Bel Hommage, to peddle, and nothing pairs better with jazz than a nice red wine and a bowl o’ shit-stirred soup.

In case you forget, there was rumored beef between the Queen of Soul and Patti after the latter began hawking sweet potato pie. Aretha must not like carb-heavy desserts because she said, “Ms. Patti’s gonna have to move that pie to the side” and started a rival food line of chili, gumbo, chicken, and desserts. The interviewer asked about the legendary feud, and I’m sure Ryan Murphy was penning every last word to her response so he never gets dropped from the F/X payroll. Ms. P replied:

“Now, there are a lot of ladies in this industry who don’t care for Patti LaBelle – and some gentleman, also – but I look at them and I smile. Because what can I do? I can’t change your mind, boo, because I don’t wanna change your mind. You go on thinkin’ about me the way you think.”

I mean, in Patti’s defense, that’s a lot nicer than she could have been. She could have just been like, “That witch is a disservice to wigs. When she gets Cissy Houston to sing on cue, I’ll deign her worthy of a true reply.” Patti’s interview is pretty long, but some highlights include her dispelling a common myth that gays don’t eat carbs:

Gays don’t eat carbs – who said that?! Every gay guy I know, they eat carbs. They eat my pies, honey! And my peach cobbler. You have to go to Walmart, or I’ll have to come and make you one personally.

Patti! We may definitely eat carbs, but we certainly don’t shop at Walmart! You better come over and channel the Barefoot Contessa of Detroit and make one personally! She also calls Cheeto “Trumpette” and that the trans ban in the military is a real witch. What’s an even bigger witch is how she better get on down to FedEx Office pronto: I’m sure she should be expecting an incoming fax in 3…2…



The Bachelorette’s «Men Tell All» Special Confronts Racist Contestant Lee Garrett

Now that the dust surrounding Bachelor in Paradise‘s high-profile controversy has settled, Bachelor Nation tackled another uncomfortable situation on Monday night during The Bachelorette‘s «Men Tell All» special. Back in June, it was revealed that one of the men competing for Rachel Lindsay’s heart, Lee Garrett, had tweeted a string of racist and sexist remarks throughout 2015 and 2016. Since Lindsay is the first black Bachelorette in the show’s history, the revelation was made that much worse, and Garrett was forced to address his comments during the special two-hour episode.

«It’s a hard thing to say that you were, or are, a racist,» host Chris Harrison said before sharing Garrett’s tweets with the audience, including one that read, «What’s the difference between the NAACP and the KKK? Wait for it…..One has the sense of shame to cover their racist ass faces.» Garrett attempted to skirt around his past comments, but the tweets naturally brought about some harsh responses from several of his fellow contestants, including Bachelor in Paradise alum DeMario Jackson and 28-year-old prosecuting attorney Josiah Graham, both of whom are black.

«Why did you come on the show where the Bachelorette was African-American?» Graham asked Garrett. «If, on the other hand, you’re tweeting about black people and groups of black people who fought and died so I can be on the stage next to you. People came before me so that I can go to the same school like you, so I can drink from the fountain like you, and if you’re comparing them to the KKK, people who hanged my ancestors — why are you trying to date a woman who looks like me?»

At first it seemed like Garrett wasn’t going to own up to his tweets, but eventually he acknowledged what he’d done and apologized. «I completely denounce that, and I denounce that Lee,» he said. «I want to learn . . . I’m sorry for saying things when I was not educated and ignorant in those subjects. That tweet was racist and I denounce it.»

Lindsay herself also appeared on the special, where she explained why she didn’t find out about the tweets immediately since filming The Bachelorette is like living in a bubble. «I’m not in the house, and I only know what’s happening right in front of me, so to sit back and see things that I’ve never seen before, it’s very enlightening,» she told Harrison. «I’m black. I knew it would be something to talk about, but it wasn’t something that we had to continually go on and on and on about when I had the relationship with the men, which I appreciated. They were trying to get to know me. Race wasn’t an issue for me as I was going through the season. No one made me feel when I was with them one-on-one a certain way.»

She also addressed Garrett directly, saying how he threw away an opportunity to be surrounded by a diverse group of people. «I hope that in watching it back, you realize that you were a part of something so great,» she said. «But in case you didn’t, please know that you can exit stage left and meet me backstage, and I will be more than happy to give you a black history lesson, a lesson on women’s rights.»

Next week’s three-hour episode of The Bachelorette will reveal who Lindsay decides to gift the final rose — Eric Bigger, Bryan Abasolo, or Peter Kraus — and hopefully afterward, she’ll live happily ever after and likely forget Garrett ever existed.

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You’ll Just Barely Be Able to Tell the Difference Between Kylie Jenner and Her Wax Figure

Kylie Jenner turned up at Madame Tussauds in Hollywood on Tuesday night to unveil her wax figure. The racy reality TV star posed for photos on the red carpet with her double wearing a sexy black dress, while the wax figure was done up in a silver gown inspired by Kylie’s 2016 Met Gala look — and needless to say, the resemblance was uncanny. The wax figure people really nailed everything about the 19-year-old, from her lips and eyebrows to her signature red carpet pose. It was so accurate that apparently Kylie’s family members couldn’t even tell the difference; Kylie shared an Instagram photo of herself and the figure wearing Snapchat filters, writing, «I made her FaceTime my whole family . . . fooled everyone.» She’s the puppy on the left, by the way.

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Mentalist Derren Brown Makes Magic From the Stories We Tell Ourselves

I’m filing out of New York’s Atlantic Theater, where I’ve just seen British mentalist Derren Brown perform his first American stage show, Secret. Around me, people are trying to work out how the two hours of tricks were done. I keep fidgeting, checking my phone—anything not to eavesdrop. With Brown’s work, and magic…

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Halle Berry Says She’s Not Trying To Tell Us She’s Knocked Up


Halle Berry is one of those sneaky types of attention whores. The kind that, when the paparazzi accosts her, she pretends to be annoyed and starts throwing shit and yelling at them like the crazy cat lady who lives on your grandmom’s block. But whenever she needs them for publicity, she tones the crazy all the way down. For example, at Saturday nights Chrysalis Butterfly Ball in Los Angeles, Halle arrived with her plus one either being a new baby friend forming in her belly, or the remains of a gigantic steak burrito from Taco Bell busting out of her gut.

Honey reports that Halle showed up packing a little extra weight in her mid section, and people were whispering that the weight belonged to a future income tax check dependent.

As of recently, Halle added a series of steamy pics to her Instagram page, one featuring her giving us Showgirls 2: Bitch Please realness behind smoked glass and the following of her wearing a t-shirt that looks like it came from a Walking Dead themed garage sale.

Summer’s coming… let’s shine up our crowns ladies! Let’s do it like @justmike_

A post shared by Halle Berry (@halleberry) on

Clearly the shirt should have read “Stunt Queen Antics Comin’!” because that’s what this shit smells like. However, the shirt is very accurate, because according to the Mirror, Halle is single and free to do all the fucking she pleases right now.

The actress is not knowingly with anyone at the moment, having divorced her French actor husband Olivier Martinez in December 2016, with whom she has three-year-old son Maceo.

She’s also the mum to daughter Nahla, aged nine, who she shares with Gabriel Aubry from their previous relationship.

But speaking of children, Halle also had a conversation about her womb on Ellen in 2014:

Halle told Ellen DeGeneres on her chat show that discovering she was pregnant with her second child at the age of 47 was a total shock – especially as she thought her baby-making days were over.

“They call it a geriatric pregnancy. I was, you know, on my way … this is probably way TMI, but I was really, you know, kinda premenopausal so to have this happen was a huge [shock]. I mean, I didn’t think it was possible to have another baby … So, I’ve learned never to say never.”

Well, we can all say “never” this morning and join hands to let out a very loud “WOOHOO!!!,” because Maury’s test results are in and Halle….you are NOT the mother(to-be). Extra just cleared up these ridiculous science fiction type pregnancy rumors and swatted down speculation of her impending third kid with a huge “HELLLLLL NO!!”

Berry brought some attention to her tummy, placing her hand on it on the purple carpet as the cameras were flashing.

Her rep shut down the rumors, telling “Extra” Monday morning that she is not pregnant.

So basically what this means is that Halle noticed all the attention Janet Jackson got earlier this year from having her first child at the tender age of 50 and figured, “Let me slide on into my sparkly shit and get the paps tongues wagging for a bit!” Nice try Halle, but on this day we all played the role of Velma from Scooby-Doo to unmask your tricks and bullshit. FOILED AGAIN, BITCH!

Here are a few more pics of Mama Halle and the burrito baby at the Butterfly Ball.

Pics: WENN


What in the Drunken Slurring Fuck is Johnny Depp Doing In ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales’?

Getting this out of the way first: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is not a terrible movie.

It’s not great.

But it’s also not awful.

It almostkindasorta works. Parts of it. Of those parts, approximately *drags out wrist calculator* zero of them belong to Johnny Depp.

Depp is back for the fifth time as Captain Jack Sparrow, the role that gave him his first Oscar nomination, and boy is it a goddamned embarrassing mess. Dead Men Tell No Tales has Sparrow go through all the same narrative hoops he faced in the previous movies: a hunt for treasure, an enemy from his past, constantly shifting alliances, a daring escape from the gallows. The plot, such as it is, involves Sparrow teaming up with Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann’s son, Henry (Brenton Thwaites), and plucky orphan Carina (Kaya Scodelario) to hunt down the Trident of Poseidon, a magical McGuffin that allows its wielder to rule over the seas and break any curse. Getting down to the nuts and bolts of it, nothing makes a ton of sense. You just have to throw your hands up and let the wacky wash over you.

A shambling mess of a story that’s riddled with plot holes and relies on coincidence wouldn’t be a dealbreaker—it’s not optimal, but I’m always down for a hefty dose of weird shit in the movies—if the whole thing weren’t hinged on the performance of Depp.

It’s baaaad, y’all.

In the first Pirates movie, Depp’s performance worked because it was slightly left of center, all swanning around and making these big expansive gestures and just generally being unpredictable and fun. In the years since Pirates first came out, Depp’s crawled up his own ass so far he went and found Tim Burton. His performance in this movie is all schtick. He slurs so much that I just plain couldn’t catch a good quarter of his dialogue. You remember that story about how doesn’t learn his lines anymore, and he showed up late to set and (reportedly) was fed his dialogue through an earpiece? Yeah. You can tell. Dead Men Tell No Tales is the natural endpoint of a craft that’s balanced more and more towards a lazy dependence on over the top mannerisms at the expense of actual acting. Well. At least it’s the endpoint until The Invisible Man comes out.

Depp’s not helped by a comedy-lite script where the idea of a funny joke is a running gag where a character says she’s a «horologist» and people interpret that to mean she’s a sex worker. Also, I’d be remiss not to mention a flashback scene where we see young Jack Sparrow, decades erased from Depp’s face by the magic of computers a la Captain America: Civil War (with Robert Downey Jr.) or Rogue One (with Carrie Fisher). Except this magic is of the black variety, because this shit is bar none the worst example of the ever-more-common de-aging phenomenon I have ever seen. It’s some uncanny valley creepiness. I know what Depp looked like when he was younger, and it wasn’t «plastic golem whose face looks like it’s about to somehow simultaneously melt and explode.» No one needed this. Just hire a young lookalike.

Aside from Depp… look, Dead Men Tell No Tales is fine. It’s an airplane movie. It’s dragged down by the presence of Thwaites, who makes absolutely no impression whatsoever. Scodelario fares slightly better as Carina, who’s very «Disney princess, Pirates-style.» She’s young and spunky and likes science and has a takes-no-shit attitude. I like the idea of her more than I like the character herself. Carina, unlike the great Elizabeth Swann before her, is fairly clunky and one-dimensional, and it’s hard to get invested in any romance subplot when one half of it is charisma vacuum Thwaites. Seeing Sparrow ogle Carina and, at one point, push her off a roof (onto a waiting hay cart, but still), isn’t (understatement alert) particularly fun given what we’ve come to know of Depp in real life. And Depp acting out a «once-great man, now washed up, gets his mojo back» character arc… yeah. Don’t really care for it! Sorry not sorry, Disney.

It’s not all bad. Geoffrey Rush is back as Sparrow’s off-and-on ally Barbossa, now a louche, even more extravagantly dressed than normal pirate king of the seas. He’s amazing, as he is in all the Pirates movies, even when everything around him is shit. The visual of a peg-legged Geoffrey Rush swinging into shot on a giant anchor is almost enough—almost—to make Dead Men Tell No Tales worth the cost of admission. Depp may be phoning in it, but Rush is a goddamned professional, and he puts in the effort and hams it up like he should. Clocking in similarly high on the drama scale is Javier Bardem as new villain Captain Salazar. As with Depp, you can’t understand a good chunk of his dialogue, snarling and heavily accented as it is, but fuck it, Bardem’s having a good time.


Look at this. I love it. It’s great.

Some of the visuals and action setpieces are entertaining. There are zombie sharks. Dead Men Tell No Tales was directed by Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg, who scored a Best Foreign Language Oscar nomination in 2012 for Kon-Tiki, about the attempt of legendary explorer Thor Heyerdahl to cross the Pacific in a wooden raft. It’s an excellent film, and proof that Rønning and Sandberg know their way around a seafaring adventure. There are glimmers of that in Dead Man’s Chest, but ultimately it’s dragged down by far too much dead weight.


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