Net Neutrality News Round-Up: Brought To You By The Internet. We’ll Miss You, Internet.

Happy Cyber Monday! Have you blown next month’s rent on a bunch of online sales, buying gifts for everyone on your shopping list (but mostly for yourself)? Me too, me too. Cool story. Oh, hey, speaking of Cyber Monday — more than 200 internet companies, including broadband bad boys like Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit and Airbnb, chose today to release a letter urging the Federal Communications Commission not to roll back the current net neutrality rules. Addressed to FCC Chairman/Fuckboi Ajit Pai, the letter notes that the «current rules provide the protections necessary to protect net neutrality and ensure the internet remains a free and open marketplace that encourages innovation and supports robust competition.»

Why does this matter, today of all days? Well, Cyber Monday earned $ 3.5 billion dollars in America last year, making it the largest online sales day in history (and today’s profits may blow that figure out of the water). More commerce is occurring online than ever before — thanks to the free and open internet that net neutrality guarantees us.

Because of the open internet, a web developer can launch a business out of their own apartment, an aspiring fashion designer in Wyoming can sell clothes in Los Angeles, or a caterer can find new customers in their town. Because of net neutrality, consumers and businesses have unfettered access to one another, increasing competition and consumer choice.

Disastrously, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) last week released a draft order that would end this open commerce by repealing the current net neutrality rules and eliminating the protections that keep the internet free and open for America’s businesses and consumers.

Without these rules, internet service providers will be able to favor certain websites and e-businesses, or the platforms they use to garner new customers, over others by putting the ones that can pay in fast lanes and slowing down or even blocking others. Businesses may have to pay a toll just to reach customers. This would put small and medium-sized businesses at a disadvantage and prevent innovative new ones from even getting off the ground. An internet without net neutrality protections would be the opposite of the open market, with a few powerful cable and phone companies picking winners and losers instead of consumers.

But maybe we need to calm down and give the internet service providers the benefit of the doubt. Surely such large corporations wouldn’t really take advantage of the net neutrality rollback to make more money, would they? After all, Comcast (the largest home internet provider in the U.S.) has been saying for years that it would respect the principles of net neutrality even without being forced to — principles like not discriminating, blocking or throttling internet content, and not instituting paid prioritization by creating fast lanes for certain content providers.

Except, as Ars Technica points out, lately Comcast has dropped the promises about paid prioritization. Check out this article to see the complete breakdown on the shifting language of Comcast’s messaging.

Still, at least the FCC has given us a clear, simple, and not-at-all confusing platform to voice our opinion! They’re listening to us — whether we support the current net neutrality rules or support their desire to repeal them. Nothing can possibly go wrong with that. It’s not like some data scientist is going to analyze the comments submitted to the FCC between April and October and discover that over a million pro-repeal comments were likely faked, right?

Well, at least the New York State Attorney General hasn’t found evidence of identity theft in those comments and accused the FCC of refusing to aid in the investigation, right?

On December 14th the FCC will vote on whether to eliminate net neutrality as we know it — but it’s not too late to make your opinion heard. From Verizon store protests to petitions to calling or writing to your representatives, there are many ways to participate. And despite the 2-dimensional hellscape that is the FCC’s website, John Oliver’s handy «gofccyourself» shortcut is still active!

1. Click gofccyourself.com
This redirects you to the FCC’s misleadingly named «Restoring Internet Freedom» proceedings page.
2. Click «+Express»
3. Check that «Proceeding(s)» is pre-populated with 17-108. If not, type 17-108 and click enter
4. Under the «Name(s) of Filer(s)» field, add your name, then click enter
5. Add your address
6. Under «Brief Comments» — comment away!
Here’s a basic template:
«Dear FCC Chairman Ajit Pai,
I support the existing Net Neutrality rules, which classify internet service providers under the Title II provision of the Telecommunications Act. Please DO NOT roll back these regulations. Thanks!»
7. Click «Continue to review screen,» check your submission, click submit

And if all else fails, you can email Ajit Pai directly: ajit.pai@fcc.gov. Just leave his family out of it.

Pajiba

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry’s Engagement News Has the Internet Royally Freaking Out

After months of speculation, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have announced their engagement! And in true internet fashion, the tweets are already pouring in. Some social media users are sharing the loss of having to kiss goodbye their Prince Harry fairy tale, while others couldn’t be happier for the royal couple. Press play on «Someday My Prince Will Come», and read on for the best reactions so far.

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Nicki Minaj And Paper Tried To Break The Internet

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Back in 2014, Kim Kardashian used dat greased up ass as a tray for her champagne when she “broke the internet” on the cover of Paper Magazine. Paper, figuring if it broke once, it can break again, kinda did the same thing this month for Nicki Minaj.

Maybe the smell of turkey and Stouffer’s dressing gets everyone boned up, but the November cover of Paper includes a trio of Nickis perfroming a “Minaj À Trois.” Kneeling Nicki seems ready to lick that taco. The recipient of said muff diving is the most innocent of the bunch, which means she has her legs spread and (in my mind) shadily pays homage to Lil’ Kim with some pasties. Standing Nicki looks like a lost cocktail waitress from a Trump hotel who is trying to honk, honk seated Nicki’s right boobie. Paper really outdid themselves this year! Creative Director Drew Elliott writes this of Miss Anaconda booty:

“We have never called an issue Break the Internet since we did it back in 2014 with Kim Kardashian. It takes a certain type of talent, with an awesome fan base and the ability to put trust in PAPER to work our magic. I have always loved all of the looks that Nicki has done (and she has done them all).”

We can choke back that vomit from the words “talent” and Kimmy in the same paragraph, but Drew goes on to say the threesome cover makes sense that Nicki has done so many lewks, it only makes sense that they all come together. He then added that Nicki is so into herself, that it would also only make even more sense that all those looks would go to Muff City with each other if given the chance. No, he didn’t, but we can all read between the lines, Drew!

People likely wondered how Kim felt about a newbie taking her media ho of a cover idea, but Us Weekly says she seemed to approve of the idea. I, however, see those selfie wheels turning in hopes of upstaging. Now we have to sit back and wait and see what Kimmy will do so she can snatch back her Internet breaking sledgehammer. A human centipede of Kims? A Kim orgy? Watersports Kim?! Kim sans three months of filler treatments?! Nah, knowing her, she’ll just do one where she’s actually drinking Fit Tea. Spooky!

Pic: Paper Magazine/Ellen von Unwerth

Dlisted

The 15 Most Stylish Kids on the Internet

When it comes to cutting edge fashion, age knows no boundaries—and these kids are living proof. From the five-year-old native New Yorker who hoards sparkly purses to the hat-loving toddler from the UK, check out our gallery of 16 pint-sized style stars.

 

MORE:

The Cutest Monogrammed Goods for Babies and Kids
Petite-a-Porter: When Play Clothes Won’t Cut It
Melijoe’s Designer Duds for Kids

The post The 15 Most Stylish Kids on the Internet appeared first on DuJour.

DuJour

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber Are a Couple Again, and the Internet Is Freaking Out

Image Source: Getty / Kevin Mazur

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber have a complicated past, but it seems like they might be giving their relationship another shot. After reuniting following Selena’s kidney transplant over the Summer, the exes have become much more friendly in recent months. Aside from having a one-on-one breakfast date and attending church together, eyebrows were certainly raised when news broke that the «Fetish» singer and her boyfriend of nearly a year, The Weeknd, had broken up.

Justin and Selena have yet to confirm or deny reconciliation rumors, but a source recently confirmed that they are definitely back together, which in turn, prompted a fan-frenzy. While some people were excited about the revival of «Jelena,» some joked that Selena didn’t follow singer Dua Lipa’s «New Rules.» See how the internet is reacting to the on and off again couple’s reignited romance.


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Stranger Things: The Internet Is a Straight-Up Mess Over Mike and Eleven

Spoilers for Stranger Things season two below!

When we left off on the first season of Stranger Things, Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) had disappeared after she sacrifices her well-being to protect the boys, destroying a Demogorgon in the process. Since the final episode of season one, we’ve been patiently waiting for Eleven to reunite with Mike (Finn Wolfhard). Now that season two is out, fans are taking to Twitter before, during, and after the moment of their emotional reunion. While the meeting is buried deep in the season, it’s an absolute tearjerker, and these reactions prove that it’s a moment that was well worth the wait.

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The Internet Hatched A Melania Trump Body Double Conspiracy Theory

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There’s been a fascinating rumor or, conspiracy theory if you will, floating around Twitter that Melania Trump ain’t always who she seems to be. It all began when a keen-eyed skeptic noted that the woman standing next to Trump during a speech didn’t look quite right. According to the New York Daily News, Zapruder film levels of evidence was posted to Twitter by a guy named Joe Vargas, AKA BuyLegalMeds.com.

The Washington Post reports:

Joe Vargas speculated on Twitter that the woman standing next to President Trump as he prepared to travel to a Secret Service training center in Maryland — call her Woman X — was not, in fact, Trump’s wife, Melania. It was instead some mystery woman, outfitted with big sunglasses and long hair (a wig????) and told to stand next to the president. “Mind blowing,” Vargas said.

Well, shit. Joe may be onto something here! That face looks fake as fuck. Also, who does that? Other than a Carmen Sandiego cosplayer? Who wears giant sunglasses and a super suspicious looking trench coat if it’s not a robot or a secret spy who’s kidnapped the real Melania and given her the old Face/Off treatment. Is it really Caitlyn Jenner and she only said she hated Trump now to throw us off the case?!

Want more proof? Detective Joe has done the work.

See, how it looks like the nose is attached to the glasses like Groucho specs?!

I’m a natural born skeptic. I like science and hard evidence and multiple sources and all that shit. So when I see something on Twitter that smells funky as hell, I’m quick to dismiss it. Especially if the primary source is “BuyLegalMeds.com”. But I have to admit, I got caught up for a minute. It was so juicy that I put aside my Detective LaToya magnifying glass and jumped right on the MELANIA HAS A BODY DOUBLE bandwagon. The reason this theory is so exciting is because, at this point, there is nothing the Trumps can do that would be a surprise.

Too bad the FAKE NEWS Washington Post had to shit all over the fun. They actually ripped Joe’s theory (and those of other internet sleuths) to shreds by showing other pictures of Melania from the same event from different angles. They looked at her nose carefully and noted a consistent bump (looks like Melania’s due for a tune up) and debunked a height discrepancy theory by pointing out that Melania’s wearing flats in one picture and pumps in another. Still, the thought that Trump might have been brought down by such a stupid stunt, one that wasn’t going to hurt a single person, was so delicious it fed my petty ass for at least an hour.

Pic: YouTube

Dlisted

The Internet Took Skip Bayless Behind The Woodshed For His Terrible Gordon Hayward Tweet

That’s the Tweet that Skip Bayless fired off last night while Gordon Hayward was still writhing in pain on the floor with an ankle bone sticking out of his leg. Just no regard for Hayward’s well-being or the fact that his season ended 6 minutes into the first game of the first quarter. You had the Cavs entire bench basically puking at the sight of this injury, meanwhile Skip was in his evil lair crafting the perfect hot take LeBron tweet.

But that’s Skip, what can you expect? Someone could die on the court and Skip would spin it into a LeBron criticism. I’m actually surprised he didn’t find a way to blame this injury on LeBron. This is what Fox is paying $ 5 million a year for.

Naturally, the internet dragged this man through the muck last night. It was coming from all angles -NBA players, media members (including his own colleagues at Fox), and everybody in between.

DeMar DeRozan and Rudy Gay called him a clown, which is lowkey a devastating insult

Then came the rest of the blue check marks

It goes on and on and on…


Sports Gossip, Sexy WAGs, NFL and Hot Cheerleaders: BustedCoverage

Who’s Up For A Friendly, Consensual Internet Group Hug?

It’s easy to look at the headlines, at social media, at the news, at the weather, at *coughcough* the White House *cough*, and believe that we’re swimming in an ocean of excrement. Every is awful, or offal, or just fucking THE WORST. You know? And that’s not counting the daily struggles we all may face with work, school, health, family, goddamn HURRICANES, etc. The combined weight of so many things pushing us down. But there are rays of light. And if you’ll permit me to get uncomfortably genuine for a moment, I’d like to share one of mine. Ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking:

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But hear me out. You see, it wasn’t long ago that I was setting out on a brand new life path, and feeling all of the confusion and insecurity that comes along with change. And thanks to a series of well-timed random circumstances, I found myself on the virtual doorstep of Pajiba.

So forgive me for being an epically uncool rookie, but whatevs. In my handful of months here, I’ve been witness to the intelligence, humor, kind-heartedness, weirdness and wonderfulness and righteously flaming fury of the writers. And I feel lucky! Seriously! These people are the shit. But more than that, I’ve seen you, the commenters, in action. I’ve witnessed a community of internet strangers support each other through depression and sobriety and that creeping miasma of helplessness that seems to pervade our every waking moment these days. And guess what? Reading your words and seeing your .gifs made it easier to look at the world and not see horror everywhere.

Your contributions to the conversation make me want to do better, react better, THINK better. In just a few months I’ve learned so much.

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Look, it’s only Thursday, but this has been a garbage fire of a week and I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone, because that’s not something that’s said enough online these days. So thank you. We may be on the backswing of the pendulum at the moment, but it’s because of minds like yours that I believe the pendulum will swing forward again someday.

So can we just have a group hug party? Would that be cool? Maybe we can share things that make us happy at the moment? Stories of the good stuff in our lives? Or just funny .gifs and animal pics? I’ll start!

Here are some hugs:

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Ouch, ok that last one might not have been a hug. Anyway, here are some fun things:

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And last but not least… fuck it, I’m going with the DuckTales themesong again. CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP.

Pajiba

The Internet Is Obsessed With the Adorable New Creature in The Last Jedi Trailer

Now that Star Wars: The Last Jedi‘s official trailer has been released, you might assume that everyone is obsessing over the footage of Rey going through hardcore lightsaber training with Luke. Or maybe Kylo Ren’s messed up face. Or that heartbreaking shot of General Leia Organa. Or even Supreme Leader Snoke‘s chilling voiceover and surprise close-up.

But you would be wrong. The real star of the latest trailer is . . . the Porg!

We got an adorable glimpse of the latest creature to be added to the Star Wars universe back in July, when the official Star Wars site detailed the origin of the instantly lovable species: «Porgs are native to Ahch-To, and can be found dwelling along the cliffs of the island where Luke and Rey are. In many ways, they’re the Star Wars version of puffins. They build nests. They can fly. Their babies are called porglets.»

Porglets, you guys. PORGLETS! We were blessed with another look at a Porg when it was revealed in toy form in August, but nothing prepared us for seeing it in all of its squawking glory in the trailer (where it seems to be riding shotgun with Chewie). Clearly we weren’t alone.

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