Amber Heard And Elon Musk Broke Up, But A Girl Has Needs!

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It’s been all of a minute since Amber Heard and billionaire Elon Musk broke up, but farted out that “we remain close” shit that is the perpetual epilogue of a Hollywood love story. I remain close with that 20-piece chicken McNugget meal I had at McDonalds for lunch, but that doesn’t mean I’m still gonna see it around! God, I need Jenny Craig. Anyway, Amb and El apparently meant it because they both have been emo on social media about still hanging out.

MTV says the two were spotted this morning cuddling and kissing at a café in Australia. Gross. I scoped out the menu for this place, and it looks like they have a jammin’ breakfast offering:

Those poor Aussies just wanted to get up, spin around their bedroom to Kylie Minogue’s “Spinnin’ Around” (isn’t that the official Australian wake-up routine?), and go grab that cholesterol-packed sourdough bowl. But nooooo. They had to see some movie STAH suck face with that dude responsible for all the front parking spots at Target reserved for electric shit. Speaking of, Elon apparently let Amber drive his Tesla post-brekkie. What was this?! Back for round two?? Nah, you can see how fattening that sourdough bowl looks. They were definitely going to go work off calories with some mid-morning boinking.

Pic: Wenn.com

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Marching Band Girl is The Most Intense, Metal Thing You’ll See All Week

See you might think you go hard at your job.

You don’t.

Witness the Boston Crusaders Drum and Bugle Corps. Specifically one of their number, tucked away in formation, a girl who plays the keyboard harder than any instrument has ever been played:

We are not worthy, Anna from the Boston Crusaders.

via GIPHY

via GIPHY

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Petr Knava lives in London and plays music

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Hilary Duff’s Hollywood Evolution Proves She Has Always Been a Hollywood It Girl

Hilary Duff has had quite the Hollywood evolution. From her breakout role as a little witch in Casper Meets Wendy to her iconic Disney Channel role on Lizzie McGuire, the 29-year-old has been in the spotlight for most of her life, and she doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. When she’s not sharing sweet pictures of her son Luca, Hilary is starring in the Sex in the City-esque series Younger. Over the years though, one thing has always remained: she’s picture-perfect. See her transformation in her best pictures through the years.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Japanese Chicken Chain’s New Sauce – Girl Singer Sweat

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You’ll pardon the absence of color in my face. I just got back from yakking up my lunch after reading the first part of this story. Japanese chicken takeout chain Tenka Torimasu specializes in fried chicken with dipping sauces. I was totally on board with that. Then I kept reading. They’ve recently introduced a new sauce to their condiment lineup. They’re claiming one of the ingredients is girl’s sweat. Who would want to ingest some random’s sweat, you ask? Well, it’s not just any girl. It’s supposedly the sweat of famous Japanese girl singers. Is Hannibal Lecter Tenka Torimasu’s executive chef?

Sora News 24 claims that their new sauce mostly contains the sweat of popular girl group Kamen Joshi. The aspiring superstars are known for performing in Friday the 13th-style hockey masks. I guess we know why there’s enough sweat for enough disgusting sauce to feed a nation. Wearing a hockey mask and a boiler suit while holding a microphone AND a machete must be hard, sweaty work!

This should keep your gorge from rising like mine did – the sauce doesn’t really contain sweat. It’s a marketing ploy and is actually just salt, lemon juice, and cheese. That’s a relief. After writing about Edward Cullen maybe being asked to jack off a dog, human excretion-flavored chicken was just too much.

Pic: Sora News 24

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This Beyoncé Dance Video Is So Sexy, It’ll Make You Want to Be a Naughty Girl

It’s been 14 years since Beyoncé released «Naughty Girl,» but the uncontrollably sexy sound never gets old. Bobby Newberry, a choreographer at LA’s Millennium Dance Complex, just did the impossible and made the song even steamier with this group dance routine. While it’s obvious no one does it like Queen Bey, these dancers are coming pretty close to her level of seductiveness. If only we had their moves back in 2003 for some epic house party booty popping.

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Serena Williams’s Reason For Thinking She’s Having a Girl Is Really Badass

Serena Williams and her fiancé, Reddit cofounder Alexis Ohanian, announced their pregnancy back in April, but the two have decided not to find out the sex of their baby until the little one’s arrival. Despite their dedication to being surprised, Alexis revealed they do have some theories about their baby during an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on Tuesday, and one of them is pretty amazing. Watch the video above to find out why Serena thinks she’s having a girl.

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7 Times Princess Charlotte Proved She’s Definitely a Mama’s Girl

Shortly after Princess Charlotte made her grand entrance into the world in May 2015, it became obvious that she looks so much like her great-grandmother Queen Elizabeth II. But as she’s gotten older and made more and more public outings, we’ve gotten to see just how much she takes after her mom, Kate Middleton. Not only do the two immediately become the center of attention whenever they walk into a room, but their personalities and quirky facial expressions are perfectly in sync. From their goofy reactions to their judgmental stares, Kate and Charlotte are two peas in a royal pod.

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Kate Middleton Bonds With an Adorable Little Girl During a Museum Outing

By now, Kate Middleton is a pro at looking happy and enthusiastic at every single event she attends, even when she probably would rather be at home in her pajamas watching The Crown. But her latest outing was probably a lot of fun for her, because it dealt with her major in college. The Duchess of Cambridge graduated St. Andrews University with a degree in art history, and on Thursday, she visited the Victoria and Albert Museum in London. Kate was on hand to open new areas of the art museum and to unveil a commemorative plaque in Sackler Courtyard. While Kate obviously made time to chat with those who helped bring the project, which is the museum’s largest in the last 100 years, to life, she also chatted with an adorable little girl. After accepting a beautiful bouquet or flowers from the girl, they smiled at each other and shared a few laughs. Don’t you just wish you were Princess Charlotte sometimes? No? Oh, uh, neither do we.

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Michael Nyquist, of ‘John Wick’ and ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,’ Dead At 56

After a year-long battle with cancer, Swedish actor Michael Nyqvist has passed away.

Nyqvist began his acting career during the 1980s. He appeared in theater shows and movies in Sweden before getting his first big break there in 2000 when he appeared in the film Together. His career spanned 35 years, but it wasn’t until his starring role as Mikael Blomkvist in the original Millennium Trilogy films that he found fame in America.

Nyqvist may be best known to movie audiences as Viggo Tarasov in John Wick or as the villain nuclear scientist Hendricks in Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. He also appeared in Europa Report with Sharlto Copley, The Colony with Emma Watson, Frank and Lola with Imogen Poots, Michael Shannon, and Justin Long, and was in post-production on Hunter Killer with Gerard Butler.

He is survived by his wife, Catharina, and their children, Ellen and Arthur and the many actors that shared the screen with him, as well as the people he entertained with his memorable roles. Nyqvist’s representative, Jenny Tversky released this statement about the actor’s passing:

«It is with deep sadness that I can confirm that our beloved Michael, one of Sweden’s most respected and accomplished actors, has passed away quietly surrounded by family. Michael’s joy and passion were infectious to those who knew and loved him. His charm and charisma were undeniable, and his love for the arts was felt by all who had the pleasure of working with him.»

Source: USA Today

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