Jennifer Lawrence And Kim Kardashian Talked Exes, Farting, and Dildos On “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”

Jennifer Lawrence during an appearance on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live!'

Although Jimmy Kimmel took this week off to be with his family for his son’s follow-up heart surgery, the procedure got delayed because the whole family has a cold. Jimmy still took the days off to deal with the sniffles, meaning a week of guest hosts for Jimmy Kimmel Live. Jennifer Lawrence closed out the week of guest spots, and she brought on her “utter obsession, our Lord Jesus God.” Nah, it wasn’t a bottle of tequila. It was just Kim Kardashian.

We can say a lot about JLaw – and have – but if there’s anything everyone’s totally favorite, relatable girl next door who coincidentally dates an F-score director can do, it’s be a total wackadoodle doo, tell a fart joke, and ask the questions those peroxide plastics over at E! are too afraid to. Luckily, she did all of that in the interview.

The L.A. Times said she introduced Kim by announcing “I have been obsessed with the first guest and her family for over a decade in a very, very healthy way.” Surprisingly, the studio wasn’t flooded with fillers and silicone from Kim’s ego exploding over that introduction. Kim was on to push her Kopycat Kylie Kosmetics line, but Jennifer pushed contouring to the side to immediately ask:

“Do you think it’s a coincidence that Reggie Bush’s wife looks just like you? I don’t.”

Kim sort of looked to the side, acting mortified but secretly hoping an E! camera got that since they have $ 150 million worth of material to catch on film.

The whole interview is really long, but one interesting tidbit is how Kris Jenner might be trying to induct Jennifer into the Koven because she had her over to her estate for dinner a few weeks ago. Kim, who doesn’t drink all that much (and when she does, it sure ain’t Fit Tea!), said she had never seen her mom that drunk before. Jennifer ended up getting naked in Kris’ closet, where she demanded Kim and Kanye style her.

The dinner, which sounds as beige as a Nancy Meyers movie, did apparently get a little gassy, something Kim wouldn’t know about. Jennifer asked her if she and Kanye fart in front of each other. Kim claimed she doesn’t fart. That makes sense since she probably had her entire digestive system lipo’d out years ago.

They eventually started talking about makeup. One of the KKW contour blending beauty products kinda/really looks like a starter dildo. Jennifer admits to it looking like something she has back home, and Kim snaps, “I’m used to seeing darker colors.” I’m used to seeing bigger peens than that contour brush, Kim, but I still know a wiener when I see one.

And if you want to watch Jennifer Lawrence try to pull a personality out of paint drying on a wall, while licking its ass at the same time, here’s the entire interview:

Pic: ABC via Wenn.com

Dlisted

Kevin Durant & OKC Chick Argue About Him Liking Chicks Farting In His Face

What a Father’s Day for Kevin Durant. (Does he have children? I know zero about him off the court.) He spent part of his day arguing with an Oklahoma chick over the news she dropped that KD likes when chicks rip farts in his face. I mean, you can’t let that slide without a comment even though you’re in the middle of celebrating a championship, right?

The chick mentioned something about some chick at Coyote Ugly in OKC, farts, KD, etc. I assume this is just a story being passed around OKC by chicks while they’re at a nail salon or while they’re getting their hair done. It’s not like they’re talking weather with their stylist like us guys do. Think about that. You go into an OKC Great Clips and hypothetically the conversation turns to KD enjoying a nasty fart in his face.

Just mindblowing stuff, right?

But here we are with KD spending like two hours of his night arguing it out with Kaylee and a bunch of other people over rumors.

That’s the sign of a guy who wants to dick slap OKC with his Larry and that MVP trophy.


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