Dwayne Johnson Can’t Resist Trolling Kevin Hart After He Posts a Shirtless Pic

Kevin Hart is currently getting in some R&R in Hawaii before the arrival of his son with wife Eniko Parrish, but if he thought that meant he’d also be catching a break from Dwayne Johnson terrorizing him, he was wrong. Not long after Kevin posted a shirtless Instagram photo of himself relaxing on a yacht did Dwayne capitalize on the opportunity to troll him. «Pls jump overboard,» Dwayne commented. To make matters even better, Nick Cannon also joined in on the fun, writing, «Go put some Gaht Damn clothes on!!! Tired of looking at your ashy ass nipples!!!» Poor Kevin just can’t seem to catch a break.

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Dwayne Johnson Literally Stops Traffic to Make 1 Lucky Fan’s Dream Come True


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Dwayne Johnson really loves his fans . . . so much so that he’ll stop his car in the middle of traffic to delight them with a photo. On Tuesday, the actor did just that when he stopped his truck on the street to take a selfie with a lucky fan. Dwayne shared a clip of the epic moment on Instagram, writing, «Sometimes traffic is just gonna have to wait to make fans happy 😉.»

He then told a story about how he «was driving in my pick up truck after work and my guy here pulled up beside me, recognized me and started freaking out. I rolled the passenger window down to say hello and then he REALLY freaked out. Jumped out of his rig and came around to my side where he stood in the oncoming traffic lane. He said, ‘Holy sh*t Rock you’re my hero, can I take a picture with you?’ I said yeah man but let’s pull over to the side and .. before I could even finish he was gone like a flash, ‘Hold on let me get my phone’ .. The light’s turned green and now cars are coming towards him and driving around him. Not one car was beeping their horn because I’m sure they thought some road rage was going down,» he continued. «This dude put a grateful smile on my face and got a big ass laugh outta me as well. Besides the traffic jam we caused and his ass almost getting hit by oncoming traffic, making fans like this happy will always be the best part of fame. Thanks dude for making my day. 🤙🏾 #INeedDarkerWindowTint #GreatestFansInTheWorld» Now, where can we find Dwayne?

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Dwayne Johnson Gushes Over His «Badass» 15-Year-Old in a Sweet Father’s Day Post


Dwayne Johnson had his best girls by his side as he celebrated Father’s Day on Sunday. The actor shared two sweet posts on Instagram as he gushed about being a proud dad to 15-year-old Simone, whom he shares with his ex Dany Garcia, and 1-year-old Jasmine, whom he shares with longtime girlfriend Lauren Hashian. «As busy and complex as my life is, these simple core moments with my ohana will always be my anchor for balance and gratitude,» he captioned a shot of him with Jasmine propped on his shoulders. While we can’t get over how big his little girl is getting, it’s his lengthy post to his eldest daughter that will really bring a tear to your eye.

Even though it was his special day, he couldn’t help but gush about how inspiring his daughter is. «I’m so proud to call her my daughter and so grateful that my influence as the #1 man in her life (for now) are two fundamental things that can take her and any young girl or boy far in this world . . . hard work and kindness,» he wrote. «She also bad ass with the most razor edge, wicked sense of humor, so you know I’m proud this apple didn’t fall far from the tree.» So cute! We always love seeing Dwayne’s beautiful blended family.


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5 Things to Know About Dwayne Johnson’s Longtime Girlfriend, Lauren Hashian

Lauren Hashian is a singer-songwriter and Boston drummer Sib Hashian’s daughter, but she also happens to be Dwayne Johnson’s longtime girlfriend. While the two have a habit of keeping their love life private, People‘s Sexiest Man Alive briefly opened up about their relationship back in November, telling the publication, «She teases me about everything. Everything. Nothing is off limits in our house. And it’s the beauty of it. And I tease her with everything.» Here’s everything we could find out about Dwayne’s other half.

  1. She comes from a famous family. Lauren was born and raised in Lynwood, MA. Her mother is named Suzanne and her father, Sib, was the drummer for the famous rock band Boston. He replaced original drummer Jim Masedea in 1975 and played with the band until the early ’80s. Sadly, Sib passed away at age 67 after suffering a heart attack while performing on board a cruise ship in March.
  2. She’s been with Dwayne for a long time. While Lauren and Dwayne didn’t make their red carpet debut until 2013 at the LA premiere of G.I. Joe, the couple has actually been together for almost a decade. They met on the set of Dwayne’s 2007 film, The Game Plan, but they didn’t start dating until a year later.
  3. She is a mom. In December 2015, Lauren welcomed her first child with Dwayne, a beautiful baby girl named Jasmine. She’s the second child for the actor, who shares teenage daughter Simone with ex-wife Dany Garcia.
  4. She’s on good terms with Dwayne’s ex-wife. Unlike most divorced couples, Lauren actually seems to get along with Dany, who’s also Dwayne’s manager. The two often accompany Dwayne to his movie premieres and award shows, and based off of their Instagrams, they even celebrate holidays together.
  5. She’s a singer. Just like her father, Lauren is also a musician. She recently dropped her new single, «Go Hard,» and in 2005, she appeared on the competition show, R U That Girl, which was hosted by Tionne «T-Boz» Watkins and Rozonda «Chilli» Thomas. Unfortunately, she didn’t win.

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Dwayne Johnson Is Cute, but His Baby Girl Jasmine Is Even Cuter

Dwayne Johnson and his longtime love, Lauren Hashian, welcomed a beautiful baby girl named Jasmine back in December 2015, and throughout the past few months, the couple has given us several precious peeks at their little bundle of joy. While baby Jasmine has yet to make her first red carpet appearance like older sister Simone Alexandra, she has successfully managed to melt us into a puddle of mush with her adorable antics. Prepare for cuteness overload, and then flip through The Rock’s sweetest moments of all time.

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Grit Your Teeth and Prepare for the Inevitable Backlash: One Day, We Will Probably Hate Dwayne Johnson

Look at that smile. That beaming, megawatt manifestation of everything that is good about what America thinks of itself. An insanely hard-working national treasure, a man whose mountains of muscle are only outweighed by his oceanic reserves of charisma, Dwayne Johnson is the closest thing that America has to royalty. In a nation that defines itself by the stories it tells, by the oversized heroes it projects onto a giant screen, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has few peers.

Shit, I’m an austere European socialist who disdains consumerism and has a natural distrust of anything too polished or well-packaged—but when that flawless grin turns my way the defensive walls are reduced to rubble and in a second I’m ready to embrace whatever he might be selling. The comedian Dylan Moran once said that despite all the bombs and the flexing of military muscle America really maintains its empire—one built on cultural as well as financial capital—not with outright force but instead by co-opting and neutralizing any opposition to it by simply building a Starbucks around it.

But that was before the wrestling star The Rock metamorphosed into uber movie star Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Now you don’t even need the Starbucks. Insurrection brewing? No problem, just parachute Dwayne Johnson in. He could probably suplex any opposition if the need arose, but you know that won’t be necessary. Everyone will just line up for a selfie and an autograph instead. AK-47s will be getting traded in for pre-sale Baywatch tickets within minutes. Natives getting restless? Worry not—have Dwayne Johnson bench press somebody’s house while he sings a Pixar number. Now the only demands being shouted are for more Fast & Furious movies.

In other words, the man’s near enough untouchable. He seems to put every foot in the right place.

In terms of movies, he has walked a deft road: Paying his dues in supporting roles first, he slowly morphed into a franchise revitalizer who was brought in to revive flagging properties, creatively as well as financially. Then he finally graduated into a fully-fledged leading man in his own right. Dwayne Johnson can seemingly do no wrong, even enlivening otherwise weak films or shows with his verve, presence, and commitment. Put him in a shit movie, somehow he will still be eminently watchable. Like, that new Baywatch is coming out for some reason. My bones tingle with ominous predictive power: it’s gonna be a turrrrrrrrrrddddddddd. But Dwayne Johnson? He’ll be luminous in it. You know he will. That motherfucker.

The bastard gives great SNL too.

But it’s not only in raw star power that Johnson reigns supreme. In this era of 24 hour celebrity access and the micromanagement of perception, it is our understanding and assumption of who we believe the man underneath the star to be that propels him into a rarefied stratosphere of likability. Alongside what we glean from his performances that understanding comes from, yes, another other old world medium—interviews—but an arguably much bigger part of the amiability war is played out on a newer battlefield: social media. As a celebrity you either embrace and master social media, or you accept a glass ceiling to your likability ambitions. And Dwayne Johnsons’s social media game?

Fuhgeddaboudit!:

Bought my dad a Christmas gift and surprised him. He's had a hard life. This one felt good. My dad, Rocky Johnson is a minimalist. Always has been. Never asks me for much and over the years his needs are always the barest. Crazy story, my dad's dad died when he was 13yrs old. That Christmas, my dad's mom had her new boyfriend over for Christmas dinner. Her boyfriend got drunk and pissed on the turkey. My dad went outside, got a shovel, drew a line in the snow and said if you cross that line I'll kill you. The drunk crossed it and my dad laid him out cold as a block of ice. Cops were called. They told my dad's mom that when her boyfriend regains consciousness, he's gonna kill your son so one of them has got to go. In front of the entire family, my dad's mom looked at him and said get out. He was 13yrs old and now homeless. That f*cked up true story happened in Amherst, Nova Scotia, Canada in 1954. He needed the bare minimum then, just like does now. Over the years, I've moved him into a big home, got him trucks to drive — which he'll literally drive into the ground until I get him something else. Hell, I'll get him anything he wants, but the SOB just won't ask;). Every Christmas, I always think about that story and my dad having every odd stacked against him at 13, but he fought thru it and still made something of himself. Makes me appreciate his struggle and hard work. Also, makes me appreciate the fun times he would beat my ass in the gym so bad when I was 13 and say "If you're gonna throw up, go outside.. and if you're gonna cry, then go home to your mother". I hated it then, but I embrace it now. Made a man outta me. Without pissing on my turkey. 😂👍🏾. Just a small way of saying thank you dad and Merry Christmas! #DwantaClaus🎅🏾

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Are you kidding me with that shit? Good looks, talent, a mythical physique, humor, charisma, and seemingly bottomless reserves of essential human goodness? It’s almost too good to be true.

Because it is.

Now don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that Dwayne Johnson is hiding some terrible skeleton in his closet. Nor am I purporting that what we see is entirely an illusion—or at least not a much stronger one than what we all maintain via social media as a matter of course. But we, the consuming public, are a fickle fucking bunch. The tides of that likability war can turn on a dime, with the smallest prompting. We are not afraid to tear down one day what we have spent the previous year building up. We are eager to forget that the people shoved into the spotlight remain just that: people. Flawed, multifaceted human beings who, by virtue of the colossal and unfathomable hall of mirrors that is 21st century fame, have become repositories for our hopes and dreams—as well as our anxieties and hatreds. Twas ever thus of course, but today the needle can flick between the two poles faster than ever. Think of someone famous who was once beloved, and almost without fail you’ll also be able to think of a backlash. Then of a backlash to the backlash. And of redemption. And contrition. And absolution. It is of course the case that sometimes someone really does do some heinous shit, and they deserve to be cast out from the garden of our good graces. And then again sometimes that’s emphatically not the case. Thus we amuse ourselves to death by tearing down the edifices of those of whom we have built monuments to, all before rebuilding them again.

All that is to say: poor Dwayne Johnson. Poor hard-working, hyper-successful, super-in-shape Charisma God Dwayne Johnson. Sooner or later we are going to turn on him. And the longer he jogs down that sun-kissed beach, carrying us aloft in his arms in this honeymoon phase of ours, the worse we’re going to bite him when we do.

BUT WHY?!

WHY DID YOU MAKE US BITE YOU, DWAYNE?!

No wait no, wait! We’re sorry Dwaaaaaaayneeeee, please forgive us for not forgiving you for that thing you said where you meant that thing but we thought it was the other thing because we didn’t know that you didn’t know that-…

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——


Petr Knava
lives in London and plays music

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Open Post: Hosted By Dwayne Johnson And Tom Hanks Announcing Their Presidential Campaign

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Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson hosted the Saturday Night Live season finale last night and announced he was running for president, as he threatened in GQ. He also brought out America’s Dad Tom Hanks and announced him as his running mate. I’m on board.

Right now, I’d stump for a facecloth, or a teacup poodle or an impacted molar for POTUS at this point. Literally, ANYTHING would be better than the “berzerker child” option with which America went. Check out The Rock’s monologue, below.

SNL also revisited their post-election cold open. This time, instead of Kate McKinnon covering Hillary Clinton covering Leonard Cohen, it was Alec Baldwin as Donald Trump and the rest of the cast as his administration and family (with a surprise cameo from Scarlett Johansson as Ivanka “Complicit” Trump). Here it is:

Wait, SNL’s done for the season? Where am I going to get my news? Will Anderson Cooper keep insulting the president’s lackeys on CNN? Can we get confirmation on that? That could be my sole news source now if he keeps being a shady lady to stupids.

Pic: YouTube

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Dwayne Johnson and Tom Hanks Are Joking About Running for Office But . . . We Need This

Politics got you down? Looking forward to literally anyone being elected in 2020? Not only is Dwayne Johnson up for the task, he has the perfect running mate: Tom Hanks. The Rock hosted the season finale of Saturday Night Live over the weekend, and Hanks showed up to welcome him into the Five Timers Club. Alec Baldwin was there too, but Johnson all but shoved him off the stage in favor of America’s sweetheart Hanks. Check out it, and get ready for this grassroots campaign.

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You Have to See Dwayne Johnson in a Wig

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America Could Very Well See A President Dwayne Johnson One Day

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Back in June, The Washington Post published a piece about how Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson could win if he ran for President of the United States. The Rock let it be known he was flattered and that the thought of being President was “alluring,” but that it was kind of a far-away idea. Well, the allure of laying the smack down in the White House is apparently growing for The Rock.

During an interview with GQ to promote Baywatch, The Rock says he’s given it more thought, and it’s a “real possibility.” Just think, America – one day, it won’t be as embarrassing that your President’s resume includes an appearance on WrestleMania.

“A year ago it started coming up more and more. There was a real sense of earnestness, which made me go home and think, ‘Let me really rethink my answer and make sure I am giving an answer that is truthful and also respectful.’ I didn’t want to be flippant – ‘We’ll have three days off for a weekend! No taxes!’

So, after all that consideration, Johnson doesn’t hesitate when I ask him whether he honestly might one day give up his life as the highest-paid movie star on earth—which is unquestionably easier, more fun, and more lucrative than being president of the United States – in order to run for office. “I think that it’s a real possibility,” he says solemnly.

Later, The Rock was asked how he thinks the current President is doing. His answer was very candidate-about-to-kiss-a-baby.

“Mmm…With any job you come into, you’ve got to prove yourself. And…Personally, I feel that if I were president, poise would be important. Leadership would be important. Taking responsibility for everybody. [If I didn’t agree with someone] on something, I wouldn’t shut them out. I would actually include them. The first thing we’d do is we’d come and sit down and we’d talk about it. It’s hard to categorize right now how I think he’s doing, other than to tell you how I would operate, what I would like to see.

I’d like to see a better leadership. I’d like to see a greater leadership. When there’s a disagreement, and you have a large group of people that you’re in a disagreement with – for example, the media – I feel like it informs me that I could be better. We all have issues, and we all gotta work our shit out. And I feel like one of the qualities of a great leader is not shutting people out.”

In my mind, The Rock then grabbed a microphone, raised his right eyebrow, and grunted: “The Rock wants to bring people together. And those roody-poo candy ass jabronis who don’t want to be brung together by The Rock can sit their ass down, open their nostrils, and smelllllllllllllll what The Rock is cooking.

GQ asked a few Hollywood people, like NBCUniversal vice chair Ron Meyer and producer Beau Flynn, if they would vote for The Rock, and they enthusiastically said yes. Flynn claims The Rock would be a great President because “He loves the world.” America, do your friends to the north a favor and elect this man! We just got the Naked Chicken Chalupa. If The Rock loves the world, then I’m sure he’d be willing to show it by exporting your delicious food stuffs up to Canada faster.

Pic: Peggy Sirota/GQ

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