These Two Don’t Even Look Comfortable in an Aggressively Staged Barn, Much Less a Real One

America’s Got Talent on NBC at 8:00pm ET.

Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath on A&E at 8:55pm ET. This episode is called «The Ultimate Failure of Scientology» and man, don’t we all hope.

Suits on USA at 9:00pm ET.

Vanderpump Rules Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky on Bravo at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. I’m sure there’s a more unappealing combination of words out there, but as far as ways to ensure that I’ll never watch your TV show, these work pretty well. I still can’t believe that «Vanderpump» is an actual last name. The fact that people with that last name wanted to be reality show stars somehow makes a lot of sense, though.

The Sinner on USA at 10:00pm ET.

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You Don’t Need to Be a Country Fan to Appreciate Faith Hill’s Bond With Her Daughters

Faith Hill is a country music superstar, an actress, and wife to Tim McGraw, but above all else, she’s a doting mother to three beautiful daughters: Audrey, 15, Maggie, 19, and Gracie, 20. Faith often gives us a glimpse into her family life on Instagram, and we can’t get over how grown-up her kids are. I mean, let’s face it, Faith could easily pass as their sister. Keep reading to see what we’re talking about.

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Don’t Let Trump’s Tweets Distract You From Dwayne Johnson’s New Salt and Pepper Beard

Dwayne Johnson has officially reached silver fox status. Sometime during the last few weeks, the Ballers star began popping up on Instagram with salt-and-pepper-flecked facial hair that had made us 1) do a double take and 2) cup our hands around our mouths and yell, «DAD!» We’ve rounded up all the photos and videos Dwayne has posted so far so you can see that sexy scruff in action and forget about all that other stuff going on for a second.

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We Bet You Don’t Know John Legend’s Real Name

Have you ever wondered how some celebrities get their names? Some stars are given names from their parents that scream «super star,» like January Jones (sounds like a superhero, right?) and Pierce Brosnan (so Hollywood). Others change their names along the way for more pizazz like, Lana Del Ray (born Elizabeth Grant) or Emma Stone (born Emily Jean Stone). The biggest surprise however is when you learn that one of your favorite celebrity’s real name is NOT the name you’ve known them as . . . like John Legend.

While John Legend sounded like a made-up name the first time we heard it — come on, whose last name is actually as cool and as fitting as Legend? — we eventually came to believe that the «Love Me Now» singer was in fact given that name from the start, but we were wrong!

John’s birth name is actually John Roger Stephens, and if we’re being technical here, it’s still his real name. Legend is actually a nickname, and the story as to how the 38-year-old crooner was dubbed «Legend» goes back a couple of years . . . back to his early career, after graduating from the University of Pennsylvania.

Back in 1999, John (who was Stephens at the time) was actually working as a management consultant. At the same time, he was honing his craft as a musician at night, playing nightclub gigs and knocking on doors, searching for a record deal under his real name — until his friends started to call him «Legend» based on his old-school sound, The New York Times reported back in 2006.

«John Legend is a nickname that some friends started calling me, and it kind of grew into my stage name,» Legend told MTV News in 2008 about his now-famous moniker. «‘Legend’ is something that I never would have chosen for myself originally. It grew to the point where more people in my circle would know me by that name than by my real name. I had to make a decision.»

John decided that although it was a BIG name to take on, he liked it, and he then adopted it as his official stage name. «I was just like, ‘You know what? Let’s just go for it. People are going to pay attention, and I’m going to either live up to my name or I’m not,'» he explained to the publication. «My bet was on me trying to live up to the name.»

Clearly the bet paid off, because now John Legend is just that, a legend, and he has definitely lived up to his new last name. The «All of Me» singer is a five-time Grammy-winning artist, a Golden Globe winner, and an Academy Award winner, not to mention his 2017 Tony Award win for coproducing the play, Jitney. But all of this fame doesn’t mean the star still doesn’t own his Stephens roots.

In fact, his name is still legally John Stephens, as proven by the fact that when he won his Oscar in 2014 for Best Original Song in Selma, his real name was announced (along with Common, whose real name is Lonnie Lynn) as he took the stage.

Plus, when John and his beautiful wife, Chrissy Teigen, had their first child back in 2016, her full name included his real surname. «Our new love is here! Luna Simone Stephens, born on Thursday, the 14th. We couldn’t be happier!» Legend tweeted at the time of Luna’s birth, and now Stephens will continue to live on!

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I Don’t Know Who the F**k Jake Paul is But After This I Kinda Wanna Give Him a Good Slap

One of the pleasures of getting a little bit older is not being abreast of everything all the time. As I very slowly but irrevocably slip into irrelevance I take great comfort in the fact that irrelevance sometimes means not having to know, almost by default or osmosis, about every stupid fad. Like, I get a genuinely rewarding shot of dopamine when someone mentions something that is apparently fucking huge and I know absolutely nothing about it.

If it’s stupid, that is. Obviously.

Usually it is stupid.

*COUGH*fidgetspinners*COUGH*

All that is to say: I stumbled upon this video earlier today of some bloke called Jake Paul. I looked him up before watching the video. Just the basics. Face, job, that kinda thing. Apparently he’s a Social Media Star. Now, I don’t like to pre-judge. The fact that his hair looks like a larval stage Boris Johnson should not be enough to get my ire up. The fact that his face resembles the unholy laboratory splicing of the genes of every entitled posh twat from Oxford with every toxic douche frat bro from [name an American college] should not be reason enough to get worked up.

The fact that he has two first names as his full name… Well, maybe.

BUT EITHER WAY.

I shouldn’t want to slap him just for those things.

For this video though? Well…

via GIPHY

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Petr Knava lives in London and plays music

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Just FYI, There’s a New Movie Out from the Writer of ‘Hell or High Water’ and ‘Sicario,’ And You Don’t Need to See It

Over the last two years, Taylor Sheridan has made a name for himself as the writer of two films that, while not massive commercial successes, nevertheless gained widespread critical and audience approval: Sicario and Hell or High Water. Sheridan’s pedigree may make you tempted to take the trek out to see Wind River, currently in theatres. Sheridan’s second film as a director, following the little-seen 2011 horror film Vile, the Wyoming-set crime drama netted Sheridan (who also wrote the script) the Un Certain Regard for Best Director at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year.

So… Wind River is good, right? Or at least worth seeing? It’s been getting good reviews. It won a Major Award. It’s from the guy who wrote Hell or High Water, and you like Hell or High Water. It stars Elizabeth Olsen, who you also like, I guess, and Jeremy Renner, who….

Anyway.

This is a note, from me to you. Do not see Wind River. It’s not terrible, but Dunkirk and Atomic Blonde are still in theatres. There are better ways to spend your money. For the price of a movie ticket, you could really go to town at Dairy Queen.

Jeremy Renner stars as Cory Lambert, a wildlife officer working on the Wind River Indian Reservation who, out on his rounds one day, stumbles upon the body of a dead woman named Natalie (Kelsey Asbille). She’s been raped and her lungs have given out, the latter as a result of running barefoot through the snow for several miles in sub-zero temperatures. Rookie FBI agent Jane Banner (Elizabeth Olsen) enters the scene to investigate the murder, but she’s generally unequipped, both for the harsh climate and the hardscrabble reality of life on the res.

What follows is a pretty by-the-book crime drama, as Banner—assisted by Lambert and Ben (Graham Greene), head of the res’ police force—attempts to unravel the mystery of Natalie’s death. There’s a mysterious white boyfriend, an uncooperative medical examiner, and clues under constant threat of being buried under snowdrifts. It’s a noir set in uncaring, unfriendly nature, where instead of dark alleyways and neon light you get the glare of sunlight on a seemingly endless field of snow.

If nothing to write home about, it’s still not awful. You could catch this on HBO and be pretty impressed. Renner gives an adequate performance as a man still grieving from the death of his daughter years earlier under circumstances similar to Natalie’s death-by-exposure. (A bit clunky, as far as storytelling is concerned—would he not have cared about this girl otherwise?) And Olsen elevates rather thin material, bringing steely resolve to what could have been a standard new-kid-on-the-block ingenue. I don’t say this lightly: Olsen’s rocking some real Clarice Starling realness here. The character’s effectiveness comes less from the lines of dialogue Sheridan has her say than the often wordless ways in which Olsen reacts to the roadblocks the plot throws in front of her: clenched jaw frustration when a medical examiner refuses to classify Natalie’s death as a homicide, or a subtle «did you really just» grimace when a male officer attempts to take the reins on her questioning of a suspect. Gil Birmingham, who gave a standout performance in Hell or High Water as the partner of Jeff Bridges’ character, is similarly great here as Natalie’s father.

Unfortunately, as great as Birmingham and Olsen are, they can’t overcome Wind River‘s deficiencies. Key among them: Sheridan’s decision to scatter scenes of graphic violence throughout Wind River in a way that comes across as unnecessary at best, exploitative at worst. We’re rolling along in this investigation when—WHAM—there’s Natalie’s grieving mother cutting her arm with what appears to be a razor. Or a flashback to a rape scene. As an attempt to make some sort of point about the harsh reality of Indian reservation life, it feels half-baked and ham-fisted, Sheridan himself seems ill-equipped to tackle such a complex topic.

Cory was married to a Native woman, with whom he had two children. He’s a fixture on the res; he considers himself, and is considered by others, to be a part of the community. But he’s still a white guy, a fact that is pointed out a time or two. Pointed out, but… never really examined. (In fact, one of the people who points it out is immediately undercut by him making a crack about Corey’s daughter, the script thereby rendering him an angry, reactionary dick.) Ditto an end title card that points out that missing persons statistics are kept for every demographic except Native American women. Sheridan appears to think he’s making some thoughtful, important statement, but I honest-to-God don’t get what that statement’s supposed to be. «Life on the res is terrible. People are impoverished. Watch this Native woman get attacked by a bunch of white guys and then raped. Also, here’s a shot of Elizabeth Olsen’s thong-clad ass for no reason whatsoever.» No… thank you? «Gawd, doesn’t life SUCK? It’s all like, violent and shit» ain’t a deep sentiment, Sheridan. I’m sorry, but it isn’t, at least if you’ve left your emo teen days behind you. And in Wind River, the use of gratuitous violence and muddled quasi-philosophizing about how «out here, you either survive or you surrender» renders that sentiment little more than an occasionally effective miserbilist circle-jerk.

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RG3 Is Out Here Grindin’ For Some Stupid Reason…Jay Cutler Knows QBs Don’t Need To Be In Shape

Instagram Photo

I saw this IG blast this morning from RG3’s new baby mama Grete Sadeiko this morning and couldn’t stop laughing at how hard RG3 is working on his body with the theory he needs to be some Adonis who has a 12-pack, looks great in spandex and can box jump like a freak.

RG3 was working like a maniac at about the same time Tubby Cutler was saying at a press conference how you don’t really need to be in shape to be a quarterback. RG3 now has two babies to feed, one failed marriage and this new baby mama who clearly doesn’t want to live like a poor. Then we have Cutler out here just shoving his nuts & $ 10M right in RG3’s face. Ruthless.

Via ProFootballTalk.com:

“The good thing is I play quarterback so I don’t have to be in that great cardiovascular shape,” Cutler said with a smile today.

Cutler said Dolphins coach Adam Gase called him last week, asked him if he was in good enough shape to play this season, and when Cutler said he was, they quickly agreed that they could make it work.

“I told him I was good to go. It was very short, very brief,” Cutler said.

This is exactly what I’ve been saying for years about quarterbacks. Do you really want your QB to be able to complete a triathlon? I don’t. Tom Brady’s got that whole diet thing going. It’s not like he’s some superior athlete at 40. He’s just been able to keep his metabolism rolling. Look at Eli. Look at Fatty Roethlisberger. Peyton could barely move and won rings. Flacco…blah…blah…blah.

Meanwhile, we have RG3 out here thinking he’ll get a job if he drops a tenth off his 40.

Hey RG3…look at this!


Sports Gossip, Sexy WAGs, NFL and Hot Cheerleaders: BustedCoverage

Don’t Forget What Happened Last Time Arya Saw Littlefinger on Game of Thrones

The following contains spoilers for Game of Thrones season seven.

Arya Stark is making a list and checking it twice, and her enemies can’t hide if they’re naughty or nice. Petyr «Littlefinger» Baelish might not officially be on the youngest Stark daughter’s list, but she certainly isn’t pleased to hear that he’s hanging around Winterfell when she finally returns home after six long years. To understand this reaction — especially after Arya has been on the run for so long — it’s important to understand what happened the last time Arya and Littlefinger saw one another.

«It is my opinion that chaos breeds opportunity that is lost soon after.»

Way back in season two, Arya Stark finds herself serving as cupbearer to Tywin Lannister at Harrenhal, which leads to a pretty interesting dynamic between the Lannister patriarch and the (secret) Stark daughter. During her stay at Harrenhal, Arya also becomes privy to several meetings between Tywin and cohorts as they plan war strategies. One of his visitors during this period is none other than Littlefinger, who is still acting on behalf of the Lannisters.

During his visit with Tywin, Arya witnesses firsthand that Littlefinger does not — despite his assurances to Catelyn and later Sansa — have the Stark family’s best interests at heart. Arya overhears as Littlefinger plans with Tywin to enact revenge on the Starks and Baratheons through an advantageous alignment with the Tyrell family. «It is my opinion that chaos breeds opportunity that is lost soon after,» Baelish tells Tywin during this scene, as Arya listens in. He later tells Tywin: «Perhaps that treason [by the Tyrells] should be punished, one day; but after Stannis, and Robb Stark.»

It’s clear that Arya notices this scheming against her family, which Littlefinger later claims to have supported nonstop. She doesn’t outright add him to her list, but she definitely notes that Littlefinger is not to be trusted. And of course, once Arya learns of Sansa’s sexual abuse and torture at the hands of the husband Littlefinger promised her to, she’ll have even more reason to dislike and distrust him.

So now that Arya is back home with Sansa and Bran, it’s likely that she will enact vengeance against Littlefinger. Between her own knowledge of Baelish’s conniving ways and Bran’s omniscient ability to observe his manipulation and backstabbing throughout time, there’s no way Littlefinger will last at Winterfell much longer!

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Usher Herpes-Gate Accuser: I Don’t Have It, But I COULD Have!

usheraccuserherpes2017

Usher’s been swamped with bad press lately, and, for once, it’s not because he’s responsible for making Justin Bieber a thing. Gloria Allred is crying tears of joy, because her baby girl Lisa Bloom is corralling a group of plaintiffs in a good ol’ fashioned sex scandal.

Usher apparently wasn’t forthcoming with his love in ‘dis club, because a few former players in games of Usher-slap-‘n-tickle say his wiener wasn’t exactly pure. In fact, back in 2012, his knob was squirting green juice, and, no, it wasn’t Mountain Dew. It was supposedly herpes and I don’t think herpes causes peens to squirt green juice. Or so I’ve heard.

As herpes does, that shit came back, and now people are lawyering up (and, yes, I picked this photo, because I pored over that looking for lingering signs of the nasty shit).

One woman is already suing him for $ 20 million for “emotional harm, medical bills, and punitive damages.” She should probably add “…and Abreva, because that shit is way more expensive than it should be.Three others, including a dude, are hopping on the lawyer train, and Lisa is more than happy to take them on because home prices in Hollywood ain’t exactly cheap.

Except…

TMZ says one of Lisa’s clients says she actually has tested negative for herpes. Quantasia Sharpton is only suing because Usher picked her out of a crowd at a concert for her 19th birthday, fucked her raw without telling her he had herpes, and now she feels violated. She told Usher that if he has herpes, to please tell his future fuck partners. Lisa Bloom made it clear in the press conference that they don’t know for sure if Usher has herpes, and if she does, he hopes he will come forward and prove that he’s negative to clear this up (pun intended on her part, I’m sure). TMZ also claims that exactly one week ago, Quantasia may have pulled a smart move by tweeting about needing money and about how she was enjoying her last couple of hours as “regular girl.” Beyond Quantasia, one of the other accusers has tested positive for herpes. All claim to have experienced distress, shame, anxiety, and revulsion. Surprisingly, Usher’s co-judges said the same thing after working with him on The Voice.

Clip of the press conference below:

PicYouTube

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The Best Parts of ‘Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later’ Don’t Feel Like ‘Wet Hot American Summer’ At All

There is a brand new 8-episode season of Wet Hot American Summer on Netflix. It brings the franchise into the early ’90s, focusing on the long-awaited 10 year reunion the camp counselors all promised to gather for, so long ago. If you have stuck with the tale of Camp Firewood since David Wain and Michael Showalter’s WHAS film in 2001, then chances are you know what you’re getting into. Or at least you’ll think you do. This new season may push even the most loyal fans to the «WTF?» brink, but if you manage to hang in until the end, there are enough surprises to justify the whole journey. The thing is, those surprises feel like they’re from a different cinematic universe. In a good way. Spoilers to follow, in case you’re reading this but still plan to watch the show …

The previous iterations of Wet Hot American Summer (the movie, and the First Day Of Camp prequel series from 2015) played on the nostalgia of a very particular kind of ’80s teen summer coming-of-age movie, blown out to absurd proportions and stuffed with a huge number of comedic performances from people we know and love. The meta joke seems to be that Showalter and Wain can rally these folks again and again to gamely hammer every joke into the ground while pretending they’re 20-30 years younger than they really are. It’s so much fun, they even attract new faces to add to the mix each time — Adam Scott, Alyssa Milano, and Jai Courtney join the fun this time around, in addition to a number of surprise returning characters from the prequel season. But the difference with the Ten Years Later concept is that … well, they aren’t teenagers anymore. I mean, obviously they never WERE teenagers, but even within the framework of Wet Hot American Summer having the central group of counselors return to Camp Firewood in their twenties opens up whole new storytelling possibilities. Rather than spoofing ’80s teen movies, or sticking to the obvious ensemble films where a bunch of high school friends return home and realize they aren’t where they thought they’d be in life, they can and do spoof almost any late ’80s/early ’90s adult genres.

The first few episodes have to do the legwork of reintroducing us to the characters at this point in their lives, and start laying the groundwork for each storyline surrounding them. Because basically each character is involved in their own genre. And the attention to detail, though impressive, may be off-putting to even the most die hard fans — not to mention the constant shifts in tone as they jump from one character to another. There are 3 distinct romance film tropes (none of which work out in the end), in addition to some John Grisham-esque conspiracy uncovering, some hidden bunker madness, a few presidents — and of course they still have to save the Camp. Again.

It doesn’t always work, at least at first. But as the season goes on, a couple of threads emerge that justify the entire endeavor: the hard-core Lethal Weapon/The Fugitive action romp starring Mitch, the Can of Vegetables, and the psycho-babysitter storyline surrounding McKinley (Michael Ian Black), Ben (Adam Scott), and Renata (Alyssa Milano). These feel so separate from everything Wet Hot America Summer has ever been in the past, and in fact they sort of take place on the fringes of even this new season. But they also best demonstrate the comedic possibilities open to the cast now that they don’t have to pretend to be teenagers stuck at a camp.


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Can of Vegetables has been a part of WHAS from the get-go, but it wasn’t until the prequel season that we learned the tragic tale of Mitch (H. Jon Benjamin), the former camp owner who fell into some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-style ooze and became the talking can we all know and love. He’s been there to offer guidance, but being a can of vegetables, it was hard for him to really step up in the action department. This time around he gets his own plot, escaping from the camp to bang waitresses and round up Christopher Meloni’s Gene (who lives in a camper on the beach because OF COURSE he does). More Can of Vegetables is a good thing, but that is sort of a given. He’s basically the mascot of the franchise. Also hearing the voice of Sterling Archer and Bob Belcher coming out of a can of vegetables will never not be funny.

The real surprise is the babysitter storyline: Ben hires Renata to join them for the reunion to take care of their infant daughter, so he and McKinley can have fun and not worry. But McKinley has a bad feeling about Renata — though every time he tries to prove she’s crazy, everything gets flipped on its head and he looks like a fool. The thing about WHAS is that it manages to be both meta-aware and still earnest, both commenting on the rules of the genre while also playing them straight. And so McKinley alienates Ben and everyone else in his quest to prove that Renata is psychotic, only to have played into her hands perfectly. Now that no one will believe him, she can proceed to take everything that’s his.

It is a dark, twisted, and well-executed little psychological thriller in the midst of all the usual Camp Firewood chaos that leads up to a hysterical fight sequence and a moment of true consequence — they kill Renata. Then formulate their gruesome plan for how to dispose of the body (sprinkling her teeth along the highway and burning her torso stand out). Only to discover, during the grand climactic reveal that everything the camp had gone through that day was because Ronald Reagan and George Bush the senior wanted to teach them all a lesson (just roll with it…), that Renata was an actress. They killed an innocent woman for no reason.

So the final episode keeps going, following up with a group dinner at a fancy new restaurant. And as everyone toasts and acts happy, the camera catches McKinley and Ben in the back, staring ahead blankly. Shell-shocked. It’s such a tight little moment, the weight of all that they’ve been through and will have to continue to live with, and the fact that nobody else is even aware of it. If I was on the fence in the early episodes because the focus seemed to be all over the map, this one shot sold me on what Wet Hot American Summer can do with adult storylines. Well, this and Can of Vegetables jumping off a waterfall.

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