Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Logan Browning

I’ve really enjoyed the FYC posts for Pajiba 10 this season, but I’ve never written one myself.

Until now.

For your consideration, fellow Pajibans, I offer the talented Logan Browning.

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Logan Browning plays the lead role of Sam White in Justin Seimen’s Netflix show Dear White People and while the cast is full of talent, this show works spectacularly well because of Logan Browning.

I didn’t know of her before the show, which is something I really enjoy, and so as much as I’d like to post a litany of her prior achievements, I don’t know them.

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Not only have I never seen any of the shows before Dear White People, but I’ve never heard of them. Fuck, I’m getting old. Actually, I have heard of Bratz. I didn’t know it was a show, I thought it was a line of ungodly base-faced dolls from hell, which I know from various toy stores where I’ve said to my reaching children «absolutely not.»

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Here she is in Bratz.

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So.

Logan Browning. Dear White People to me, was an amazing, amazing show. I loved it. I watched it in like two sittings with longing and frustration during the in-between time until I could get back to it. It’s great.

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And she really shines. In the time since then, I’ve watched interviews and read articles about her and she just seems so down to earth, her head is screwed on right. When people ask her why she got into acting, she says it’s because she wanted to be famous. That just feels refreshing to me. She adds that, now, that’s not at all interesting to her, because she sees the fallout from it, but she thinks that lots of little kids just want to be «a star.»

She has that star quality in Dear White People. She has that captivating, eats-the-screen kind of ability. But, in interview after interview, this native Atlantan comes across as just wonderful. Over and over again. Someone that you can really root for.

Logan Browning is a world-class beauty, a talented actress, a dancer, and a person we can, and should get behind.

Does she need a best friend who can spell?

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Yes. Yes she does. But I’ll admit, I can’t fucking breath either in Trump’s fucked up dystopian nightmare.

Spelling aside, as you mull over your Pajiba 10 list this year, think about sneaking in a timeless beauty who can literally make any hairstyle work for her. Any hairstyle. That’s basically a superpower in and of itself.

Logan Browning, fellow Pajibans. Logan Browning.

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For You Consideration: Seth Meyers

I had originally planned to write about Ricky Whittle (Shadow Moon from American Gods) as my FYC nominee, but look at him:
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This is not a man who needs anyone to talk people into finding him attractive. I mean, not only does he look like that, he has a British accent, so he’s good. He doesn’t need any help for the Pajiba 10.

Instead, I’m going to direct your attention to Seth Meyers for A Closer Look:

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In addition to having darling dimples and an easy smile, he has soulful downturned eyes that sparkle and gleam as he’s thinking of the perfect clever rejoinder.
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He’s wicked smaht, witty and so very quick, but dissolves into laughter over the goofiest bit.

He doesn’t take himself too seriously. But he takes serious subjects and makes them hilarious and palatable.

Seth Meyers’s delivery of snappy criticism and verbal smacks to Donald Trump and his vile cadre of enablers is just. so. satisfying.

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I find myself looking forward to the A Closer Look segment far more than any of the guests who are booked, although Seth is a fun interviewer too. He’s engaged and engaging, as he is here with the Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Pete Buttigieg.

Since the election of President* Trump, Seth has become the best part of so many days that are filled with despair and clenched teeth. I go to bed each night after watching Seth smack down Washington politicians and I know that while our government may not be looking out for us, Seth still is.

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Miguel Ángel Silvestre

I really don’t have to explain this pick to anyone who watches Sense8. If you’ve somehow managed to get through more than two episodes of that show without falling at least a little in love with Lito, and by extension Miguel Ángel Silvestre, then I don’t know if you’re actually human. First of all, he’s incredibly handsome. Like, stunningly so. But more than his looks, what really got me on his side was this scene where he’s channeling Sun’s menstrual cramps and mood swings.

The Spanish actor was originally a tennis player and won a Mister Castelló pageant in 2002. Which he obviously should’ve because, c’mon, look at him:

If there was ever a live-action Archer movie he’d be a shoe-in. The accent would be hard to work around, but I think the trade-off is worth it for that jawline. These days he’s keeping in shape with some new hobbies:

Oh, did I mention yet that he’s friends with other Pajiba favorite, Pedro Pascal?

Lito steals Oberyn's hat. #gameofthrones #sense8 Lito le roba la gorra a Oberyn! #narcosseason3

A post shared by Miguel Angel Silvestre (@miguelangelsilvestre) on

But really, I think that Sense8 displayed his beauty to its fullest effect. Often with a hand from his on-screen partner Alfonso Herrera. Like this scene where they go for a frolic in the ocean wearing the least amount of clothing legally allowed on most beaches.

Sense8 may be gone from our screens but it will never be gone from our hearts. Or minds. Or other parts. And Miguel Ángel Silvestre is personally responsible for an awful lot of those fond feelings. He deserves a place on your Pajiba 10.

📷 #mark&donat @miguel_barbera

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Donnie Yen

I have spent a lot of time thinking about who I should present to you, dear readers, as my first foray into the Pajiba 10. Because inevitably, these sorts of nominations reflect back on the writer. Do I want to impress you? Intimidate you? Pander, please, suck up? Do I go obscure, or pick a zeitgeisty fave of the now? Do I throw up my hands, say «fuck it,» and nominate a cartoon character?

(I couldn’t decide if I’m more attracted to Rick Sanchez or One-Punch Man, so that idea was out.)

In the end, I opted for honesty. And I know it’s not particularly progressive of me as a modern woman, but I have to say it: I love a man who kicks some ass. That’s not to say that I don’t also love a man who speaks eloquently, helps children, saves puppies, cooks and reads a nice thick book on the subway. I love a man in glasses. Heck, my husband rocks a man-bun. My libido is all over the place (read: easy).

And when I say I love a man who kicks ass, I don’t even really mean «man» — I mean anyone who looks like they could protect me in a dark alley. Spending my formative years watching Buffy has ruined me, and now it takes more than a little flash of protein-shake-and-CrossFit muscle to turn me on. It’s not what the body looks like, but how the body is used. I want people who really learned their fight choreography, or better, people who choreographed their own fights. I want long takes with little editing, so I can see that the actors really know what they are doing. I want danger and creativity. I want to be in awe of just how much the human body is capable of. I want the polar opposite of whatever the fights in Netflix’s Iron Fist were supposed to be.

I want me some Donnie Fucking Yen.

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And as you all analyze your options for this year’s Pajiba 10, I would humbly ask that you consider just how much you probably want some Donnie Yen yourself.

Since this is a thinker’s guide to hotties, I suppose I should come up with some timely justification for my pick. This past year has been good to Mr. Yen, to be sure — his blind warrior monk Chirrut Îmwe stole Rogue One out from under from that little rolling BB-8 bastard, and I have already rhapsodized at length about Yen’s palpable sexual tension with Vin Diesel in xXx: The Return of Xander Cage elsewhere on this site.

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But the thing is, Donnie Yen is basically timeless. This year is the right time to vote for him, because EVERY YEAR is the right time to vote for him. The guy is in his mid-50s and has acted in 70+ films. He directs, he produces, and yes — he choreographs his own fights. He brings the emotion, even when his fists are down. He has been in some great movies, and he has single-handedly redeemed some terrible movies. When the Weinstein Company set out to make a (pointless) sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, they needed someone to fill the Chow Yun Fat-shaped hole in the story as a new love interest for Michelle Yeoh. Naturally, they went straight to Donnie Yen. Sure, the movie was sort of an unnecessary mess, but it was almost worth it to see Yeoh and Yen together on screen.

But enough of this jibber-jabber. Let’s appreciate the fine form of the man in question! Obviously you can never go wrong with some Ip Man Yen:

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Then there is almost-but-not-quite Jedi Yen:

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And here is uncomfortably attractive Monkey King Yen:

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I’d show you how good he looks in a suit but I don’t have the rights to any of the red carpet shots, so do me a favor and go google «Donnie Yen Suit» and look at the images. I’ll wait.

Wasn’t it worth it? The man knows how to fill out a jacket and tie!

Want to see Donnie Yen fight with himself in a fat suit?

I don’t know what they’re selling but I’ll take it!

There is even the basket of craziness that is 2014’s Iceman, where Donnie Yen is frozen for a few hundred years, then wakes up and has to pee:

Basically, no matter what mood you’re in, there will be some sort of Donnie Yen to match it. He is a man for all seasons. He is a man for all Netflix queues. And this year, I hope he’ll be a man in the Pajiba 10. Thank you for your consideration. I’ll leave you with this clip of Yen fighting Mike Tyson, just because.

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Misha Collins

Oh how I’ve agonised over picking someone to present for your consideration in Pajiba 10. My celebrity crushes tend to fall into categories: long standing devotion (hello, David Boreanaz), shameless lechery (hey, Alexander Skarsgård) or embarrassing wrong’uns (I’ll never tell)…

The world’s got enough Bad Boys, and legions of groupies to sing their praises, so I’ve been focusing my efforts on damn fine specimens of Good Guys. What I’m aiming for is the noble and glorious Guilt-Free Perv. No shame, no embarrassment, no ‘ignore everything you know about his personal life and focus on the pretty’. No ‘is it still OK to like him even though….’ Nope. Beautiful and lovely, inside and out, that’s what I’m going for.

This brings me to the chaps in Supernatural. The only embarrassment here is the embarrassment of richness in the hot guy department. What’s the collective noun for hot guys? Let’s go with sploosh (thanks Jodi!). That’s what this show has: a sploosh of hotties. Plus a sexy car and some classic rock.

You could dedicate much of your list to the lovelies of Supernatural. Hello, boys. We could argue Jared vs Jensen vs J2 for hours; there are Bad Boys aplenty with Mark Sheppard’s Crowley (that growly voice? Hello.) and Mark Pellegrino’s mischievous Lucifer as notable mentions. Even Battlestar Galactica‘s Tahmoh Penikett made an appearance. But on this auspicious occasion, I’m championing the guy who brought us Castiel, aka your new God, aka Agent Beyoncé: Misha Collins.

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Misha has it all. First up, he’s gorgeous.

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He can do smouldering and mysterious. He can do goofy and silly. He can put on a deep gravelly voice for the best part of a decade, just for us. His smile is like sunshine.

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You don’t get to see him smile very often, as Castiel usually has to look awkward and confused, but damn, he does that well, too.

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But he’s also the epitome of a Good Guy. Take a look at GISHWHES, Random Acts of Kindness and his social media feed! He’s fighting the good fight there as well.

Join me (& some famous people) in helping to take down Trump! Go to nopetotrump.com #NopetoTrump

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He’s super cute with his wife and kids! He likes Wonder Woman!

Misha has it all, folks. Not only is he entirely sploosh-worthy, but you could take him home to your parents, and he’d charm the socks off them. He can save the world in a trenchcoat. He’ll make you laugh and give you a cuddle. He’s the ultimate Guilt-Free Perv. You’re welcome.

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Taika Waititi

When asked to describe Thor: Ragnarok, the third film for Asgard’s favourite Chris and the dark horse of the MCU, its director Taika Waititi said it would be «Taika-esque». That’s not particularly helpful for novices unaware of the majesty of New Zealand’s sexiest director (sorry Peter Jackson), but it’s a veritable gold-mine for film fans in the know.

Waititi, an Oscar nominated actor-writer-director, has the kind of range that makes most filmmakers cringe with jealousy. His debut short film, Two Cars, One Night, landed him an Academy Award nomination, where he pretended to fall asleep as the camera panned to him, because he’s not just an exemplary film-making talent, he’s a comedic genius who’s always on the ball. After a couple of episodes of a little show called Flight of the Conchords, (he directed the one with Aziz Ansari and «Albi the Racist Dragon»), he made the super adorable rom-com Eagle Versus Shark, then the wonderful coming-of-age drama Boy.

He was also in Green Lantern, but we won’t hold that against him.

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For those who have yet to experience the joy of What We Do in the Shadows, you have a glorious 85 minutes ahead of you. To call it the vampire Spinal Tap doesn’t do it any justice: It’s a sharp genre parody chock full of gags of all kinds, wonderfully specific cultural references (find an actual New Zealander to explain the meat raffle and hipster jokes to you), and a genuine love for vampire stories. On top of directing and co-writing, Waititi is one of the main vampires, perfectly embodying the odd mix of goofy earnestness and blood-soaked melancholy. A werewolf-focused sequel to What We Do in the Shadows is on the way, allegedly to be called We’re Wolves, because Taika knows you like puns.

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Next came Hunt for the Wilderpeople, which may be his high point, at least for now. A movie like this so easily could have gone off the rails at any moment, with his quick shifts in tone and offbeat story a few steps away from twee, but Waititi is too damn good at his job to allow that. It’s an expertly woven tapestry of humour, darkness, pathos and oddness. No wonder it’s become the highest grossing New Zealand film in its home country.

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Oh, did I mention Waititi’s got three whole films in the top 10 of that list? Peter Jackson doesn’t have a film in the Highest Grossing New Zealand Films in New Zealand! Jane Campion doesn’t either! Russell Crowe? He wishes! Taika Waititi is a success. He’s got the range. No wonder he’s 2017’s New Zealander of the Year.

The future is bright for Taika. Thor: Ragnarok makes even this shrivelled up husk of a human being excited for a Marvel movie, with Waititi understanding just how daft the Thor universe is (and how much better it is when you let Chris Hemsworth be funny and let Jeff Goldblum wear silly make-up). Waititi, who is Māori himself, made hiring indigenous, Aboriginal Australians & New Zealanders a priority on-set, because he’s all about supporting his country and people. A stop-motion film about Michael Jackson’s chimp Bubbles is upcoming. He’s also leading the way in organising a Māori language version of Disney’s Moana (for which he wrote an original draft of the script). Taika Waititi is exactly the kind of talent the world of film needs, and to watch his well-deserved rise to the top is a privilege.

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Did I mention he’s also super fucking foxy? Because he is, and you should bloody appreciate it!

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Make the right choice — Taika Waititi for Pajiba 10.

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Shirley Manson, the Grunge Gillian Anderson

Look, I’m new to the Pajiba scene. Only started writing here a few months ago. Somehow I completely missed any and all iterations of the Pajiba 10 until it started simmering in the Pajiba Slack chats. I’m not exactly on the thirsty beat, as it were. I’m more on the «let’s write criticism about criticism» beat, which, let’s be honest, is about as sexy as writing on the internet comes. So this isn’t my first rodeo, but it’s my first rodeo that isn’t about a rodeo. If that makes sense. Which it doesn’t.

All of this brings me here, because my cursory research suggests this person has never won the coveted title here at Pajiba, and even though it’s a long shot, I gotta be me and throw my hat in the ring for one Shirley Manson.

The lead singer of the seminal band Garbage, and actress in the woefully underappreciated show Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, has enough innate charisma to power a city block. I’m not going to say that I was chemically altered the first time I saw the video for «I’m Only Happy When It Rains,» but I won’t say that I wasn’t, either.

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I mean, hi. You have my goddamn attention.

The first two Garbage albums are ones I continually revisit, and not just because I can stare at the pale, redheaded Scottish goddess who fronts the band. They are legitimately great records. I’d put «Vow,» «Not My Idea,» «I Think I’m Paranoid,» and «The Trick Is to Keep Breathing» against anything released in the 1990s. But it didn’t hurt that the person singing it seemed to have been beamed from another universe for the sole purpose to dominate humanity via her innate sexuality.

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She’s on tour with Blondie this summer, and at the age of 51, she’s somehow hotter than ever. She’s the grunge Gillian Anderson, which combines one of my favorite musical genres and favorite actress genres all into one. I want to meet her and would be legitimately terrified to meet her. It’s confusing, yet awesome?

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I hesitated to even throw her name into the ring, but enough of the Pajiba staff were annoyed that I suggested her first that I thought it was at least worth admitting my crush online for the world to see. She’s been in my proverbial Top 5 since I learned of the concept of said list, which was right around the release of Garbage’s debut album in 1995. That’s two solid decades in which people have come and gone but Manson has still remained. It’s perpetually odd to me that she never turned into the singular rock star of her generation. Given the fact that she apparently doesn’t age and might actually be a part of Skynet’s plot to overthrow humanity, I shouldn’t be calling attention to her agelessness. But since my keystrokes might already be recorded, I should soldier on through regardless. Especially when she espouses an ethos to which most of us can and should relate.

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All hail Queen Shirley.

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Justin Theroux

There are times for eloquent prose, spirited debates, or extensive dialogue. This is not one of those times. This is a time for a single gif. The King of All Gifs, if you will. Maybe some photos as well. But mostly just the gif.

BEHOLD YE MORTALS, YE LESSER BEINGS, AND WEEP AT YOUR MEDIOCRITY:
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OK. Fine. Some background. You might remember him from Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion or Zoolander or Alias, or Parks and Recreation, or The Girl on the Train. Oh, right, also The Leftovers. And lots of other things. But you’re not even reading this, are you? I don’t blame you.

Hey boo, haaayyy:
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He is very good at itching his neck after a haircut:
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He can rock a leather jacket like the baddest motherfucker in town:
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He’s an expert doggo snuggler:
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He’s proficient in the use of, uhm, let’s go with exercise equipment:
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He’s also an expert lounger:
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He does damn fine Bond cosplay:
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He’ll pull you up when you are down, girl:
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He is the perfect representation of TDH (tall, dark, and handsome):
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Once more, from a different angle, because I love you and want you to have nice things:
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Ursula lives in Chicago and likes potatoes very much. You can follow her here.

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Socialism

I look around I look around and I see this year’s Pajiba 10 already brimming with quite ridiculous levels of lion-moistening hotness. The wit and fire of Briga Heelan; the inhuman smoulder of Jason Momoa—what could I possibly be asking you to consider placing alongside those?

Motherfucking socialism, that’s what, son!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, or I can at least take an educated guess. It’ll be something along the lines of:

‘What’re you on about, Knava? The Pajiba 10 is a ritual objectification of celebrities, not abstract political concepts. Why do you defile the ritual, you commie infiltrator?!’

Fair point, well made. But really, this contest is all about desirability. And I don’t know if you noticed, but socialism? She’s like so hot right now. Everybody wants to be seen with her. Because after four decades of the tightening noose of neoliberalism Western societies are realising that perhaps the line we have been sold about the necessity of deregulation and the primacy of capital is actually just a steaming pile of Kushner. The public are waking up, and they are angry and horny for change.

Look: The United States of America got so sick with neoliberal fever that it got to a point that a racist and misogynistic clown businessman ended up as its supreme leader. The French saw off a rising neo-fascist infection, albeit by electing to stick a neoliberal band-aid on a gangrenous foot and hoping that that would solve the underlying problem. It won’t. And over here in Britain, a brief temperature check shows us that the body’s white blood cells are rapidly, though belatedly, kicking into action in an effort to reverse the worse of the damage that has been done.

Socialism is the hot nurse making sure you’re okay as you wake up in the bed, confused and disoriented. You have been out for years; dozing under the Grima Wormtongue-like spell of Milton Freedman. She has the cure for what ails you. I’ve been calling her ‘she’, but that’s just for ease of writing; socialism has no one gender. It is, as a matter of fact, of all genders, because it is all of us. You remember how hot that Sense8 orgy shit was?

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No barriers of colour, sex, gender, creed, religion, or sexuality; just a desire to look out for others and to make sure that they’re ok—mmm, socialism.

Representative, progressive taxation designed to fund national infrastructure that is used to give everyone a fair shot, no matter what their initial station in life?

Mmm, socialism.

Free, universal education and healthcare ensuring that no one is left wanting for two of the most fundamental needs in this world?

Mmm, socialism.

A unionised workforce granting its constituent members the power of collective bargaining in its dealings with the bosses and making sure that those whose labour creates wealth actually get to reap the benefits of it?

Mmm, socialism.

A non-imperialist foreign policy built around dialogue and mutual co-operation?

Mmm, socialism.

A deep and instinctive, policy-backed understanding that a true measure of a society is how it treats its weakest and most vulnerable and that the strongest and most powerful should be expected to pay their fair share?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, goddamn socialism.

I’m sorry, I’m getting all hot an bothered over here. As they say around these parts: I’ll be in my bunk.

——

Petr Knava lives in London and plays music

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Pajiba 10 For Your Consideration: Jason Momoa

If a picture is worth a thousand words, get ready for the sexiest goddamned novel you’ll ever read.

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Jason Momoa will soon make ladies swoon and fish fight evil when he appears in Justice League this fall. After that, he’ll get his own Aquaman movie and, Cthulu willing, a plethora of additional movies.

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I know that I was first introduced to the perfection of Momoa when he portrayed Khal Drogo on the first season of Game of Thrones. His body, his intensity, and his smoldering looks were more than enough to send me off to Google.

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There I would learn that he had appeared on Baywatch and that he is married to the very lucky Lisa Bonet.

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He’s directed short films and the most recent one is a sweet love letter to fatherhood.

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Here is the first short film:

Seriously, if Momoa doesn’t do it for you, there’s nothing else I can say. I can, however, bombard you with photos to change the tingle in your pants.

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