So this Maryland fan set the internet on fire today after this video of her putting on a drinking clinic went viral. The whole video is perfect. The fact that she’s up on a table, then snagged the beer one-handed OBJ style, and then pounded that shit in less than 2 seconds. It’s all perfect.
Naturally, every dude is losing their mind over this. They’re in shock, they’re in awe, and they’re in love. So many emotions are running through their brains, they don’t know how to feel. This is the type of chick who will drink a man under the table and then bang him back. Then she’ll do this:
Washington at Rutgers on a Friday night? Oh hell yeah I’m in. It’s like 55 degrees and snow showers in Ohio. I’m hunkering down. I get Lane Kiffin at 8 on ESPNU? HOLY SHEET! What a Friday night it’s gonna be. I get a 9:30 kickoff on CBSSN? Woah woah woah! And a fantasy football draft!! Solid wood right now.
It’s go time in Williamsport — LLWS gets rolling today on ESPN or ESPN2. You’ll get three or so games on throughout the day. Or there’s the Wyndham Championship on Golf Channel at 2 EST. I’m sure there’s also a bunch of regional baseball. There are also three NFL preseason games tonight. Bucs-Jags is on ESPN for you to fake care about.
I think it was our friends at Top Tier on IG who had an interesting category of IG models — Chicks Who Fish. Seriously, I’m tired of the same old bullshit out of IG models who have thousands of unused images on their phones just waiting to be published. They have zero original material. I’ve seen you on a bed. I’ve seen you at the beach. I’ve seen you on vacation in Greece or Italy or wherever.
How about you grab a saltwater fish and prove that you’re not some robot. Teach an IG model how to fish & she’ll never go hungry. Put a fish in an IG model’s hands and she’ll differentiate herself from all the other IG models.
That brings me to Kristin Floyd, an IG model who gets it. She gets that you have to mix it up a little bit. She understands that you guys are tired of the usual. You want strange.
Some of you will say, “Hey BC, she has fake boobs.” And I’d say just be glad that she’s holding saltwater fish instead of posing the same as every other IG model. Who cares that she has bolt-ons? Not me.
It seems like the life has been sucked out of vampire Eric and Alexa Chung’s relationship. After more than two years together, Alexander Skarsgard and Alexa Chung are done. Thank God, because “Alex&Alexa“sounds like an IKEA ottoman and its slipcover.
But he’s not spending his nights all sad at home. Page Six says that Nordic hottie Alexander Skarsgard took a vacation from my wet dreams (oh, back off, prudes!) and went out with (Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex) model (well, duh) Toni Garrn. They went on a blind date to the Dairy Queen in Montauk last weekend. Just kidding, Dairy Queen is too nice a place for a first date!
However, it doesn’t sound like Alex and Toni will go out with each other again. A source said, “They didn’t hit it off big-time. There may not be a second date in the cards.” Maybe it’s too soon for Tarzan?
But back to Alexa. Along with making me scratch my head as to why Alexa is viewed as such a *Hi-FAhShUN mUuUuZZzzzzzZZe* to sartorialists everywhere, she has been a bit of a Jane of the Jungle, swinging from A-Lister to A-Lister. She dated the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys for a while, as well as a lengthy line-up of other rockers. Some even speculated Chris Martin was the jade egg in her vagine, and therefore why Gwyneth Paltrow and the Frodo of white people music consciously uncoupled. In short, I’m jealous.
Here we go again with the stupidity that is 2016-2017 in human history. Now we have a hot college chick turned feminist named Hannah Carter who wants us to believe that she never heard of a ‘red headed slut’ drink before recently walking into an Indianapolis Howl At The Moon location and saw a promotion for the drink behind the bar.
That was this past Saturday. Here we are on Friday and Howl At The Moon has removed promotion of ‘red headed slut’ drinks because Hannah went on a crusade this week and the guy running HATM crumbled.
“I saw the word ‘slut’ and I thought, ‘Oh, no, that can’t be right,’ ” Carter said this week. “This was the first time I had ever seen such a term so degrading to women advertised in a bar on their drink menu. I was so taken off guard.”
And now ‘redheaded slut’ is now considered offensive at the HATM. Don’t believe me?
Sounds like it was on a chalkboard. A CHALKBOARD! AT A BAR!
It’s a goddamn shot. This isn’t church. You’re at the bar to get fuccked up. You’re there to get lit and take a bunch of dirty photos for Snap and your IG Story. Do we now get rid of Slippery Nipples because some woman might get offended because nipples implies Baileys being poured over boobs and some sort of sloppy sex act?
Might as well shut down the whole damn industry then.
And don’t even get me started on Hannah playing dumb as if she didn’t know there was a red headed slut shot. I get the feeling this wasn’t her first rodeo in a bar. It’s clear what’s happening here is that she needs feminist street cred and this was a perfect way to get it.
I mean, look at this line from the Indy Star.
Carter is admittedly new to the bar scene, but she felt so offended, she was compelled to write to Howl at the Moon’s corporate headquarters in Chicago. In her email, she vowed not to return and asked that the drink’s name — and others with derogatory or hidden meanings — be changed or taken off the menu.
Oh ok. Whatever. Yeah, clearly new to the bar scene. SHE WENT TO INDIANA…AT BLOOMINGTON!! AND WAS IN A SORORITY!!! GTFOH.
Do you realize how many pairs of shoes, shirts, bags, etc. Klay Thompson has sold to the Chinese during his trip this year? The people making the junk are so enamored with Klay that they’re blowing the $ 4 a month they make on his gear because the guy just keeps entertaining them to a point to where they have no choice but to blow the rent, electric and cellphone money on his stuff.
They have little choice after he’s given them things like the dunk miss and dancing in some club. He’s making them forget about LeBron, MJ, Shaq and Kobe. No joke, I bet LeBron’s there after the 4th. Wouldn’t be shocked if Kobe takes the fam to make the Chinese remember their basketball god.
What a Father’s Day for Kevin Durant. (Does he have children? I know zero about him off the court.) He spent part of his day arguing with an Oklahoma chick over the news she dropped that KD likes when chicks rip farts in his face. I mean, you can’t let that slide without a comment even though you’re in the middle of celebrating a championship, right?
The chick mentioned something about some chick at Coyote Ugly in OKC, farts, KD, etc. I assume this is just a story being passed around OKC by chicks while they’re at a nail salon or while they’re getting their hair done. It’s not like they’re talking weather with their stylist like us guys do. Think about that. You go into an OKC Great Clips and hypothetically the conversation turns to KD enjoying a nasty fart in his face.
Just mindblowing stuff, right?
But here we are with KD spending like two hours of his night arguing it out with Kaylee and a bunch of other people over rumors.
That’s the sign of a guy who wants to dick slap OKC with his Larry and that MVP trophy.
If you read that headline and then went, “Err, okay, let me scroll back down and spend more time with the masterpiece musical stylings of Sarah Dunne instead,” that woman on the left in the hot pink boa is doing an amazing impersonation of you.
Actor and recent inductee into the Peroxide Blonde Ain’t For You, Bitch club, Colton Haynes, was on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show yesterday to promote Rough Night, which he’s in. Andy decided to ask 28-year-old Colton about the adventures of his dick and wondered if he’s a Gold Star Gay, meaning that his down-low parts have never been touched by a cooch. Colton isn’t a Gold Star Gay and dribbled out more info about his fuck life by saying that he’s been with 5 girls and lost his V-card at 13 years old. When I was 13, most 15 and 16 year olds I had any kind of interaction with either called me a “stupid fag” or wanted nothing to do with me. But not Colton, he lost his chocha virginity to a 15-year-old girl and his peen virginity to a 16-year-old dude.
“No, I’ve had sex with four girls. I lost my virginity at 13. To a girl and a guy. Yeah, 13. I’ve never said that before. The girl was two years older than me and the guy, was gosh, around 16. I was still in the 8th grade.”
Colton said that he moved high schools a couple of times, and every time he started at a new school, he dated girls at first and by the end of the year, he came out as gay. Then he’d move schools and do it all over again. But Andy wanted to know more about Colton’s first time and wondered if it was a threesome. It wasn’t.
“Everyone participated. It was a real first time. It was exciting…. It wasn’t a three-way. It was separate instances. We’ve all had [threesomes] but it wasn’t that time.”
Oh yeah, we’ve ALL had threesomes. Yeah, sure, mine have all been great. Really though, Colton Haynes may think he’s real edgy by losing both virginities when he was just 13, but when I was a teenager, I was having orgies. Yes, by “orgies” I mean that I was fapping to different underwear models in the JcPenney catalog, but that kind of counts. And yes, I still have those kind of orgies today. Be jealous, Colton!
Here’s Colton at last night’s NYC premiere of Rough Night. Colton brought his fiancé Jeff Leatham and in case you didn’t know that they were engaged from their over-the-top engagement show on Instagram or their second engagement, they flashed their engagement rings.
Barbara Lowery, or Emily Aster as she goes by on Facebook, had herself a Monday for the ages in Cullman, Alabama, north of Birmingham on I-65. She stomped out Bama Man’s windshield and wrote “You’re so pretty (smiley face) f–ker” on the hood of the Volvo that Nick Myrick claims came from his grandfather who recently passed away.
Barbara Lowery was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing.
Separate videos appear to show her standing on top of a Volvo parked outside a furniture store and kicking the windshield until it shattered and fell into the car.
The owner of the car, Nick Myrick, said he knows Lowery but isn’t sure why she targeted his vehicle. His windshield has already been replaced.
Nick and Barbara are friends on Facebook, but I can’t tell what the hell is going on with these two. I’m trying to figure out if it’s a lover’s squabble or if maybe there’s some drug action. It’s unclear and Nick isn’t exactly saying.