What a Father’s Day for Kevin Durant. (Does he have children? I know zero about him off the court.) He spent part of his day arguing with an Oklahoma chick over the news she dropped that KD likes when chicks rip farts in his face. I mean, you can’t let that slide without a comment even though you’re in the middle of celebrating a championship, right?
The chick mentioned something about some chick at Coyote Ugly in OKC, farts, KD, etc. I assume this is just a story being passed around OKC by chicks while they’re at a nail salon or while they’re getting their hair done. It’s not like they’re talking weather with their stylist like us guys do. Think about that. You go into an OKC Great Clips and hypothetically the conversation turns to KD enjoying a nasty fart in his face.
Just mindblowing stuff, right?
But here we are with KD spending like two hours of his night arguing it out with Kaylee and a bunch of other people over rumors.
That’s the sign of a guy who wants to dick slap OKC with his Larry and that MVP trophy.
If you read that headline and then went, “Err, okay, let me scroll back down and spend more time with the masterpiece musical stylings of Sarah Dunne instead,” that woman on the left in the hot pink boa is doing an amazing impersonation of you.
Actor and recent inductee into the Peroxide Blonde Ain’t For You, Bitch club, Colton Haynes, was on Andy Cohen’s SiriusXM show yesterday to promote Rough Night, which he’s in. Andy decided to ask 28-year-old Colton about the adventures of his dick and wondered if he’s a Gold Star Gay, meaning that his down-low parts have never been touched by a cooch. Colton isn’t a Gold Star Gay and dribbled out more info about his fuck life by saying that he’s been with 5 girls and lost his V-card at 13 years old. When I was 13, most 15 and 16 year olds I had any kind of interaction with either called me a “stupid fag” or wanted nothing to do with me. But not Colton, he lost his chocha virginity to a 15-year-old girl and his peen virginity to a 16-year-old dude.
“No, I’ve had sex with four girls. I lost my virginity at 13. To a girl and a guy. Yeah, 13. I’ve never said that before. The girl was two years older than me and the guy, was gosh, around 16. I was still in the 8th grade.”
Colton said that he moved high schools a couple of times, and every time he started at a new school, he dated girls at first and by the end of the year, he came out as gay. Then he’d move schools and do it all over again. But Andy wanted to know more about Colton’s first time and wondered if it was a threesome. It wasn’t.
“Everyone participated. It was a real first time. It was exciting…. It wasn’t a three-way. It was separate instances. We’ve all had [threesomes] but it wasn’t that time.”
Oh yeah, we’ve ALL had threesomes. Yeah, sure, mine have all been great. Really though, Colton Haynes may think he’s real edgy by losing both virginities when he was just 13, but when I was a teenager, I was having orgies. Yes, by “orgies” I mean that I was fapping to different underwear models in the JcPenney catalog, but that kind of counts. And yes, I still have those kind of orgies today. Be jealous, Colton!
Here’s Colton at last night’s NYC premiere of Rough Night. Colton brought his fiancé Jeff Leatham and in case you didn’t know that they were engaged from their over-the-top engagement show on Instagram or their second engagement, they flashed their engagement rings.
Barbara Lowery, or Emily Aster as she goes by on Facebook, had herself a Monday for the ages in Cullman, Alabama, north of Birmingham on I-65. She stomped out Bama Man’s windshield and wrote “You’re so pretty (smiley face) f–ker” on the hood of the Volvo that Nick Myrick claims came from his grandfather who recently passed away.
Barbara Lowery was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing.
Separate videos appear to show her standing on top of a Volvo parked outside a furniture store and kicking the windshield until it shattered and fell into the car.
The owner of the car, Nick Myrick, said he knows Lowery but isn’t sure why she targeted his vehicle. His windshield has already been replaced.
Nick and Barbara are friends on Facebook, but I can’t tell what the hell is going on with these two. I’m trying to figure out if it’s a lover’s squabble or if maybe there’s some drug action. It’s unclear and Nick isn’t exactly saying.
Alabama’s spring game is today and that means I’ve perusing the internet all afternoon looking for Bama content from Tuscaloosa. I mean this is like a religious holiday for them, so I’ve been searching Twitter and I’ve been exploring Instagram for some Bammers to do something wild.
I didn’t see anything all morning from Bryant-Denny or T-Town until I came across this IG video with absolutely zero context. It’s just a short, six second clip of one Bama fan (chick) absolutely blasting another Bama fan (dude) in the face and knocking him out cold.
The beauty of it is the no context. I don’t want to know what these bammers were up to, I just want to enjoy the show. And what a show it was. That guy might be dead. We might actually need to check up on that.
Also, it was fun posting this throwback this morning
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen inspired her to be an actress. Alisha revealed in an interview that while she’s always loved performing, it wasn’t until she played Michelle in a Full House play that she officially told her mom she wanted to be an actress.
You’ve definitely seen her before. Before catching her big break in 13 Reasons Why, Alisha appeared in over a dozen shows since 2008. Her acting credits include roles in Parenthood (with her 13 Reasons Why costar Miles Heizer!), Teen Wolf, and Ray Donovan. (Fun fact: Dylan Minnette’s girlfriend, Kerris Dorsey, is also on Ray Donovan, and shared a few scenes with Alisha on the show.)
She’s best friends with her costars. The entire 13 Reasons Why cast loves to hang out in real life, and Alisha seems to be a driving force behind that. She’s formed especially close bonds with Miles Heizer, Brandon Flynn, and Tommy Dorfman, and frequently documents their fun antics on social media.
She has at least 1 tattoo. To celebrate the success of 13 Reasons Why and to further raise awareness for depression and suicide prevention, Alisha got matching tattoos with costar Tommy Dorfman and the show’s executive producer, Selena Gomez. The trio got semicolons on their arms, because it symbolizes that «this is not the end, but a new beginning.»
The WNBA Draft is tonight at 7 on ESPN. Yeah, I’m out on that. How about a playoff hockey doubleheader on NBCSN? Yep, it’s that time of the year. You’ll have hockey on at like 1:30 a.m. EST. My first place Reds have the night off, but there’s day baseball to choose from or SEC baseball at 7 on SECN. Pretty good day of sports.
Brackets. Brackets. Brackets for days. Printed brackets laying on the bar. Brackets pinned up at work. Brackets, brackets, brackets. Normally I’d go to the bar on March Madness Thursday and get rowdy. Not today. Not when tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day. Have to save up energy. Princeton-Notre Dame gets things started today. Are you kidding me? That’s a great one for the emotions.
On February 28, 2017 officers with the Oxford Police Department took a walk in report of residential burglary. The victim reported that his ex-girlfriend who was identified as Kimberly Barco broke into his residence through a window and stole a dog collar that was on his dog. Kimberly Barco was subsequently charged by the victim, she has been arrested and given a bond of $ 1,000.
Name another conference where hot chicks break into ex-boyfriend houses to steal dog collars. You can’t. It just means more in the SEC. Dog collars matter.
Day baseball! Orioles-Phillies on MLBTV. That’s at 1. Sit back and dream about that weather. Screw the action. You’ll also get a bunch of basketball (March Madness fever!), the Warriors are in D.C. and there are a couple of hockey games to fake care about. What a night of action for all the single guys out there.
There’s day golf on the Golf Channel at 2 EST. There’s a bunch of soccer for you fake soccer dorks who act like actually care about the sport, but really only watch when it’s some big match so you can be part of the cool crowd. There’s also the normal college basketball, NBA, NHL smorgasbord.