OMG, IF THIS HAPPENS IT NEEDS TO BE MADE INTO A MOVIE AND I WILL WATCH IT AND CRY AND EAT ICE CREAM AND CRY AND JUST BE SO HAPPY AND GRIN AND TWIRL AND SING AND OMG OMG OMG!!! — (Vulture)
We did it, my friends. WE DID IT! Jared Leto defeated Kim Kardashian and is moving on to the Elite Eight of FUUUUUUUUG MAAAAADNESSSSSS! Omg, I’m so relieved now. I feel all giddy and smiley. I don’t really care who you vote for in any of the other brackets (FOR NOW), but in this one, I saw this Bella person on Snoop and Martha’s Potluck Dinner Party show (which, if you are NOT watching it, why? WHY are you not watching it!? Why?) and her laugh bugged the crap out of me. So, anyway… — (GFY)
Amy Schumer won’t be a Barbie girl, I guess. So, any thoughts for who would make a good Barbie Who Doesn’t Fit In With The Other Barbies? — (Dlisted)
It’s terrible when you’re totally ok with screwing over other people but then that screwing over happens to you. No, wait, that’s not terrible. That’s karma. — (Teen Vogue)
John Mayer likes talking about his life in similes and metaphors. «At 32 and obsessed with outsmarting the idea of a «clichéd rock star,» he explained, «I started to invent my own grenade.» (His big mouth.) He was «a Mack Truck without brakes.» Tabloid fame was «a human-growth hormone» and «extracurricular stuff» anyway, Mr. Mayer said. «I basically realized I’m no good at that, so I’m going to drop that major.» Also: «What I did was probably semiconsciously just reboot it — control, alt, delete.» «It was an induced coma.» His career had «flatlined.» «It was cat and mouse,» he said, «and the mouse lost.»» … ‘k. — (Lainey)
WHY DID CRACKER BARREL FIRE BRAD’S WIFE? The Internet has questions and feelings about it. h/t Sarah — (ScaryMommy)
Commenter Tracey Sims shared this in the Pajiba Facebook page and it made me cackle like a LOON! (Hook Mag)
Maybe Hollywood doesn’t like them, but I can’t help it, I adore them! Fuck Hollywood, you can come and hang out with me and my friends in Indiana, Kristen and Dax. We’ll play games and overshare all over each other! — (Celebitchy)
Blackboardmonitor was mildly intrigued when she heard Hogarth was putting out a series of modern retellings of Shakespeare. She became excited when they found out Margaret Atwood had retold her favorite play, The Tempest, as Hag-Seed. "This novel is a joyous celebration of both Shakespeare and theater in general." Five stars. (Cannonball Read 9)
I can’t even believe it’s almost summer, but it really is not that far away. It’s so close that the marketing has started for the new Spider-Man Homecoming!
Happy Friday! Step away from the internet and the bullshit going down in DC this weekend. Enjoy the time with your loved ones or your precious time alone. If it’s nice where you are, go outside and enjoy the beautiful spring. If it’s crappy outside, stay inside and bundle up with a good book and some cocoa. Be as content as Patrick Stewart’s «foster» dog Ginger here as she snores her cares away.