Here’s Why the Sea Monster Sex Is Actually a Very Important Part of Shape of Water

Spoiler alert: FYI, we will be discussing a key aspect of Guillermo del Toro’s sexy sea monster film, Shape of Water.

Listen, I’m going to cut right to the chase. I’m a big fan of Guillermo del Toro. Going in to Shape of Water, I was excited. It appeared to be an incredibly rich and beautiful story. The visuals in the trailers alone were enough to convince me that the film would be utterly enchanting. Long story short, I did love it. I’d argue it’s del Toro’s best film since Pan’s Labyrinth. But even though I fell in love with this whimsical and timeless tale, even though I think it’s a strong Oscar contender and one of my favorite films of the year, I left with one lingering question: did Eliza and the sea creature need to have sex?

If you’re questioning the question, let me assure you that they do, indeed, have sex. Eliza even describes the anatomy of the fish man, who seems to have some kind of trap door down there that opens up to reveal his, um, fish-man-italia. In a later scene, the two successfully fill Eliza’s bathroom with water, naked, and seem to have another glorious scene of love-making. All the while I wondered, did they need to consummate this relationship in this way? Could they have forgone the sex and still maintained the power of the narrative?

Ahead of the film’s release, I hopped on the phone with Doug Jones, the human man who is inside the fish suit in the film. Jones has a long history of starring in Guillermo del Toro’s films — he plays the Fauno in Pan’s Labyrinth, Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movies, and more — and he has an even longer history of this kind of creature work in the broader spectrum of the film industry. When I asked Jones about the sex and why it was necessary, he actually gave a pretty incredible answer.

In those classic monster movies that Guillermo was inspired by as a child, even Creature From the Black Lagoon being a big one . . . all those monsters, the creature from the Black Lagoon, Frankenstein’s monster, Dracula, King Kong, the list goes on. There’s also a human being involved with that monster who finds empathy, sympathy with him. A romantic notion might be in the air over that sympathy, right?

So, Guillermo [del Toro], once he saw The Creature From the Black Lagoon, he developed a crush on both Julie Adams and the creature at the same time. And he really wanted that romance to be actualized and completed. He said that as a child, he even doodled them after he saw the movie: Julie Adams and the creature holding hands at the beach, on a bicycle together, having a picnic together. He drew multiple pictures of them in hopes that they might have gotten together one day. Well, this is the movie that he made now. He wanted to make the movie where the monster does not have to transform into a handsome prince in order to be loved.

All of us at some point in our lives have felt like we’re the out-of-sorts one. We’re the one who doesn’t fit in. We’re the one who’s different from everybody else and we’re not lovable somehow. I think everybody has that running fear [laughter], and I certainly can tap into that.

To be in a story where I don’t have to change, I just have to be accepted, and where someone finds me beautiful. She sees the beauty in my monster-ness. And I see the similarity in her, too. We see something in each other that others find invisible, or expendable, or even distasteful. But with each other, we find the beauty in it all. And so gosh, who wouldn’t want to tell that story?

So, there you have it. While it’s heartening to see Eliza’s bond with this creature, that sort of sympathy and camaraderie is a pretty common staple of classic «monster» movies. But to see a love story, to see a film where the creature really gets the girl . . . that’s something we never see. So, yes, I was a bit incredulous about the sex in Shape of Water. But when you look at it in this broader context, it makes a lot of sense.

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These 5 Upcoming Romantic Comedies Will Make You Actually Look Forward to 2018

Next year is promising a ton of exciting movies — like any year in the last decade or so, there are several epic superhero events and beyond-big sequels. But if you’re looking for some movies that are a bit smaller in scale but big on heart, we have the list you’re looking for: 2018’s romantic comedies. With some cute adaptations and continuations of beloved series, there’s a little bit of love out there for everyone.

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Hold on a Sec — Could Riverdale’s Infamous Black Hood Actually Be TWO People?

Are you ready for a Riverdale theory that’s so insane, it just might make sense? Well buckle up, because this is going to make you question everything you think you know about one Ethel Muggs.

As we all know, the seemingly mousy character, played by Stranger Things star Shannon Purser, definitely has a dark streak. In the season one episode «Chapter Three: Body Double» she helps get some pretty brutal revenge on a slut-shaming male classmate along with Betty and Veronica; clearly her moral compass isn’t black and white. It’s this instance, actually, that has one dedicated fan thinking that Ethel has teamed up with the Black Hood, the mysterious murderer plaguing Riverdale.

See, in the aforementioned season one episode, Ethel is shown smiling as she watches Betty torture Chuck Clayton in the hot tub, an act that horrifies Veronica (who, it’s worth noting, also experienced Chuck’s slut-shaming first hand). As Reddit user NancyRiverDrew points out, Ethel also doesn’t have much of a reaction in a later episode when Betty verbally attacks Chuck in the school cafeteria. It certainly seems like Betty’s dark side resonates with Ethel. And you know who else does? Yep, you guessed it: The Black Hood.

The Black Hood’s victims so far have all been Riverdale citizens who have committed specific sins: Fred Andrews is an adulterer, Geraldine Grundy was a sexual predator, and Moose and Midge were attempting to engage in some premarital sex. Obviously Ethel doesn’t physically match the description of the murderer, but what if she’s the brains of the operation? After all, we know she definitely knew about Ms. Grundy and Archie after hearing about it at Jughead’s birthday party. Also Midge, who was on the same list of Chuck’s «conquests» as Ethel, walks away from her interaction with the Black Hood uninjured. Could it be because Ethel thought she’d suffered enough?

There’s also the timing of the attacks. Why now? Fred’s shooting lined up perfectly with the return of Hiram Lodge, who we know Ethel’s family has history with (her father tried to kill himself after a bad business deal with Hiram). The arrival of more «evil» in Riverdale could have spurred both Ethel and her father into action. Adding on to that part of the theory is that Betty suspects the Black Hood has a daughter after that whole Nancy Drew cipher ordeal. Ethel could be that daughter.

Remember when she calls Archie’s vigilante group, the Red Circle, to help her this season? They show up to save her, only to find her completely unharmed and with barely any information about the Black Hood. Why did she bother calling them at all? Was it to test how quickly the group could spring into action? The secret nail in the coffin seems to come when Betty goes to the abandoned house in Fox Forest: a box with a hood inside is waiting for her. It’s wrapped in a red bow, which is one of Ethel’s signature hair accessories. The answer to the identity of the Black Hood (and his seemingly sweet daughter) could have been in front of us all along.

Read the twisted theory in full here.

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Prince Hot Ginge Actually Said “Over The Moon” While Talking About His Engagement To Meghan Markle


Pictured: Prince Hot Ginge making the same face I made when he said Princess Diana would be “over the moon” about him getting engaged to Meghan Markle. First, he betrays me by getting engaged to a different biracial American, and then he says the line that hurts my soul almost more than the line, “Sorry, but we’re out of alcohol.” Way to knee me in the b-hole before spitting on it! And not in a sexy way.

After their engagement photo call, PHG and the real winner of I Wanna Marry Harry did one of those traditional and weird interviews that newly engaged British royals do. Now, if I just got engaged to PHG and had to do one of those weird TV interviews, I’d just flash my ring at the camera while saying, “Eat it, whores!“, before humping him until they furiously cut to commercial. But PHG and Meghan talked to the BBC’s Mishal Husain about boring things like how they met, his proposal, her ring and blah blah blah. Yes, I’ll admit that they’re cute and sweet together, but the only thing more barf-inducing than watching an ~in love~ couple sweetly talk about how ~in love~ they are, is watching an ~in love~ couple sweetly talk about how ~in love~ they are while not having to worry about money ever again! Damn them!

We started hearing about PHG and Meghan in October 2016, but they say their first date happened in July 2016. They were set up by a mutual friend, whose name they didn’t want to say for privacy reasons, and met for a drink in London. She says she didn’t know much about him before meeting him (GASP!) and he says he never watched Suits and didn’t know who she was. They had back-to-back dates, and a few weeks later, he invited her to a week-long trip in Botswana so they could really get to know each other under the stars. It’s like a goddamned Hallmark movie. They never went more than two weeks without seeing each other. For PHG it was refreshing to hang out with someone who wasn’t in royal circles and didn’t really know much about him, and vice versa.

Meghan has met up with THE QUEEN a couple of times and earned the Corgis seal of approval. They apparently sat at her feet all through tea with THE QUEEN. I see that Meghan slathered her pumps with bacon grease so the Corgis would fall in love with her. Well played, Meghan! I also see that Meghan has already mastered her monarchy PR training, because she said this about the royals and THE QUEEN:

“It’s incredible. To be able to meet her through his lens, not just with his honor and respect for her as Monarch, but with the love he has for her as his grandmother. She’s an incredible woman.”

PHG also said that his mother and Meghan would’ve been as “thick as thieves.”

Back to their blind date, when the friend asked Meghan if she wanted to go out with PHG, she only had one question:

“I now understand very clearly: there’s a global interest there. I didn’t know much about him, and so the only thing I had asked her when she said she wanted to set us up was…’Is he nice?’ Because if he wasn’t kind, it just didn’t seem like it would make sense.”

The hell kind of question is that? Is he nice? Your friend, who knows PHG, asks you if you want to go on a date with him and the only thing you ask is if he’s nice?!?! It’s good to ask a question when someone sets you up with PHG, but if the question isn’t, “Girl, where’s the nearest CVS, because I’m going to need to get some aloe vera and burn cream for when I take a ride on that fiery hot rod?“, there’s no point in asking anything!

Pic: BBC via YouTube


Gaten Matarazzo Actually Falls Out of His Chair Over Joe Keery’s Most Searched Questions

The only thing cuter than Steve and Dustin’s friendship on Stranger Things is the friendship between the actors who play them, Joe Keery and Gaten Matarazzo. The young stars recently put their fun bromance on full display when they sat down with Wired to answer the web’s most searched questions about themselves and the show. Aside from giving us some insight on the fictional town of Hawkins, Gaten couldn’t control his laughter when they uncovered what people are searching about Joe. Watch the hilarious video above.

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Justice League: The Flash’s Dad Is Actually a Very Famous Actor

Image Source: Warner Bros.

OK, maybe Justice League isn’t the best superhero movie that’s ever been made, but there’s still plenty of room to enjoy it. Once you look beyond the sad Amazonian costume redesign (and the other myriad issues), it’s still an action-packed, much more lighthearted, overall sort of entertaining addition to the cinematic branch of the DC Extended Universe. All things considered, some of the best fun during Justice League comes from the little Easter eggs that are sprinkled throughout. You know, like the postcredits scene and the little superhero cameo. Oh, and then there’s the (very handsome) man who plays the father of the Flash aka Barry Allen aka Mr. Ezra Miller, who is also very handsome.

Barry’s dad, Henry Allen, only pops up in a couple of Justice League scenes. Henry is in prison for allegedly murdering Barry’s mom, Nora Allen. Near the beginning of Justice League, Barry goes to visit his father. Henry tells Barry that the prison visits are unnecessary; Barry needs to get on with his life. By the end of the film, Barry has locked down a new job, and he visits his dad again to share the good news. If you found yourself recognizing Henry Allen’s very angular face, that’s because he’s played by Billy Crudup!

Image Source: Sony Pictures

Perhaps Crudup’s most memorable role was as Russell Hammond in Almost Famous. Russell is, if you haven’t seen the film, the romantic opposite of Penny Lane (Kate Hudson). But Crudup’s two-decade career spans far beyond Almost Famous; he also played Will Bloom in Big Fish and appeared in Mission: Impossible III, Eat Pray Love, Without Limits, and Waking the Dead.

More recently, he’s been getting even meatier roles. You might remember him as the journalist who interviews Jackie Onassis (Natalie Portman) in Jackie, Eric MacLeish in Spotlight, and William in 20th Century Women. He also plays Oram in Alien: Covenant aka the guy who gets the classic facehugger treatment. Crudup has also been cast in the upcoming adaptation of Where’d You Go, Bernadette?

Image Source: Warner Bros.

The coolest part about Crudup’s inclusion in Justice League is the fact that he’s already kind of, sort of a part of the DC Extended Universe. In 2009, he appeared as Dr. Manhattan aka Jon Osterman in Watchmen. Of course, there’s a catch. While Watchmen and Justice League are technically both under the DC Comics umbrella, they don’t necessarily tie directly into each other. Even so, it’s pretty cool that Crudup appeared in another DC-adjacent comic book movie that was also directed by Zack Snyder.

Anyway, we all know the real reason Henry Allen is imprisoned in Justice League, right? It’s because he’s — yep, you guessed it — criminally good-looking. I’ll see myself out.

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Trump’s Latest Tweet Actually Is Coherent; It’s Just Insanely Pathetic

If you don’t follow sports-ball much, or keep up with ESPN/Bleacher Report, etc., this Donald Trump tweet may have gone completely over your head:

What? Did Trump’s brain break? Huh? Is that some kind of racist word salad? WHAT IS GOING ON?

OK, well. There is an explanation. Three UCLA basketball players were arrested in China for allegedly shoplifting a pair of sunglasses. According to Trump, at least, they were facing 10 years in prison. Thankfully, UCLA, the Chinese hosts, the state department and apparently even Donald Trump intervened to help the three basketball players gain their release and return home.

For that, Donald Trump is using Twitter to preemptively berate the three basketball players — LiAngelo Ball (Lonzo’s brother), Cody Riley and Jalen Hill — before they’ve had a chance to say thank you, because Trump desperately craves validation, he doesn’t expect it here, and he wants all the credit.


There’s Actually a Silver Lining to That Bob Situation on Stranger Things

When it comes to the second season of Stranger Things, we’re no longer concerned about justice for Barb. Now, it’s all about newcomer Bob Newby, played by living legend Sean Astin. If you’ve finished the season, you’ll know that Bob suffers a heartbreaking death thanks to a surprise demodog attack in the penultimate episode of the season. And, well, after spending so much time with him and seeing how happy he makes Joyce Byers (Winona Ryder), it’s a tough pill to swallow. Even so, we have a piece of information that might bring you a bit of solace.

In a new interview with Vulture, cocreator Matt Duffer admitted that he and his brother Ross had a hard time killing Bob. In fact, they ditched their original plans and delayed the inevitable as long as they could.

«He was going to die around [episode] four,» Duffer revealed. «We just kept delaying it because we started to really like the character, and he started to become more important to the plot. We just kept pushing his death further downfield until we got to the point where it was going to happen in episode eight.»

Though the death was inevitable, the creators still had a hard time putting pen to paper. «I had a bit of a breakdown,» Matt Duffer said. «It felt really nasty to write. It just really hurt, and I was like, ‘This doesn’t feel right, I don’t want to lose this character, I don’t want to lose Sean.'» It seems that, though Astin was able to delay his fate for a whopping four episodes, some things just can’t be changed.

And even then, even when the brothers pushed the event back and struggled to get through a draft of the script, they still had to face the wrath of one person: Winona Ryder. «The most texts I’ve ever gotten from Winona was when she read the script for episode eight where Bob dies,» Ross Duffer admitted. «It was like, ‘You’re monsters!’ She was not thrilled.» The good news is, we’ll always be able to revisit Bob in season two. And though we won’t see him as we move into season three, we’ll forever hold him in our hearts.

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You Can Actually Feel the Electricity Between Faith Hill and Tim McGraw During Their CMAs Duet

When it comes to country music duos, few can hold a candle to Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. The couple, who recently celebrated their 21st wedding anniversary, put their love on full display as they performed their latest single, «The Rest of Our Life,» at the CMA Awards on Wednesday night. Aside from showing off their incredible vocals as they harmonized on stage, the two managed to make us melt into a puddle by giving each other heart eyes. Ugh, we can’t with these two.

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Pink’s Soulful CMAs Performance Is the Only One You Actually Have to See

Pink embraced her country music side when she took to the stage to perform «Barbies» at the CMA Awards on Wednesday night. Although it was her first appearance on the show, the Beautiful Trauma singer did not disappoint. The proud mom of two, who is nominated for musical event of the year for her song «Setting the World on Fire» with Kenny Chesney, delivered a stunning performance that earned her a standing ovation from the crowd. Pink has been on a roll lately delivering hair-raising performances, and her soulful performance at the CMAs was no different.

Image Source: Giphy

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