‘Rick And Morty’ Hasn’t Forgotten About Jerry Yet

The first two seasons of Rick and Morty mined a lot of humor and drama from the core family dynamics of the Smith household. The idea of parents who let their kids go on intergalactic adventures with an alcoholic super-genius is both necessary for the plot, and incredibly neglectful. That Beth and Jerry are both so absorbed with their own insecurities and dissatisfaction initially seemed to me a way to justify that their attentions would be elsewhere, rather than worrying overly much about the safety of Morty and Summer. But that flawed relationship as come to the forefront of the storytelling, as the couple has finally separated — thanks in no small part to the machinations of Rick himself.

Sure, Rick may like to take credit for driving a wedge between Jerry and Beth, and while he definitely precipitated their current separation, the question of whether they should have ever gotten married or whether they should have stayed married was always in the fabric of the series. Their refusal to separate for so long may have been used as a punch line by their own children, but it wasn’t really ever a joke. Yes, a cartoon that airs on Adult Swim — a programming block dominated by dubbed anime, stop motion action figures and shows about talking fries and milkshakes — is currently presenting a nuanced view of divorce. These are the times we live in.

But for anyone who expected Jerry to be relegated to the sidelines from now on, last night’s episode proved that there is still room in the story for Daddy Smith. The third season has already delved into the psychology of Beth, Rick, and their father-daughter relationship, as well as the coping mechanisms Morty and Summer are using to deal with their anger and confusion at Jerry for moving out. So last night the focus shifted to Jerry, because apparently Morty was worried about his dad being depressed and wanted Rick to take him on an adventure to give him a win and help him feel useful. That Rick agreed to the ruse for Morty’s sake borders on a break in character, but the fact that he quickly drops it and tells Jerry the truth helps rectify things. So the two men set off to a fancy death-proof resort to hash out a story they can tell Morty.

When I say «death-proof» I mean the resort is covered by an immortality field that prevents death. This is illustrated hauntingly by two children who chase each other around. One shoots the other in the head. Then she gets up and the chase resumes. Ya’ll see where this one is going, right?

The episode has Jerry confront his resentment with an opportunity to aid in the assassination of Rick, who has made enemies of the locals (their leader, named Risotto, is voiced by the incomparable Clancy Brown). The plan involves luring Rick onto a ride called the Whirly Dirly, a sort of rollercoaster with three rings, one of which momentarily dips outside of the immortality field. And while Rick does unload a lot of honesty at Jerry, largely about how he uses being pathetic to manipulate others (TRUTH) and how bad his marriage was even before Rick moved into the picture, Rick also admits to meddling in Jerry’s marriage. That move is so unexpected, it makes Jerry regret his part in the assassination attempt. Too bad he decides to save Rick while they are already on the ride, leading to a massive disaster that brings down the immortality field.

Those poor kids find out the hard way that death is back to being a consequence when the girl gets shot… and doesn’t get up again. It’s a fleeting moment, but also one of the most disturbing things the show has ever done (and this is a show that has had characters get chased by STDs and create exoskeletons out of rat limbs). Rick and Morty has never shied away from the idea of consequences, but in a season where the psychological underpinnings of the main characters are being poked and prodded, it’s nice to see a reminder that these adventures impact far more than just the Smiths and Rick.

Back on Earth, Summer has some boy troubles, Beth is a terrible mom about it, and things get blown out of proportion. And by that I mean Summer literally blows herself up to a huge size in a misguided attempt to make her boobs bigger. Rather than calling Rick for help, Beth decides this is her moment to shine — and she makes everything worse. Morty, who is continuing his streak of not putting up with shit from anybody, takes his mom to task in glorious fashion. The B-plot culminates in giant inside-out Summer and giant inside-out Beth hugging it out over a campsite, while Morty makes himself a s’more and threatens the boy who broke Summer’s heart. Who, we find out in the tag at the end, does wind up mutated (presumably by Morty). The kid is definitely learning from his grandfather’s ruthlessness if nothing else.

The characters all seem much more comfortable expressing their feelings than they ever were before. But did they actually learn anything? We’ll have to wait and see. One thing is for certain, though: Jerry will not be moving back into the house while Rick has that defense system hooked up.


Aaron Carter Opened Up About Chloe Grace Moretz At A Charity Event


Aaron Carter must have an Entertainment Tonight hotline phone installed in his bathroom which he uses every time he takes a shit (always while listening to John Tesh’s seminal album Sax On The Beach) because they’ve got another hot exclusive straight from the horse’s mouth.

Aaron addressed his cringeworthy twitter attempt to date Chloe Grace Moretz during an interview with ET at a Project Angel Food event on Saturday night. You’ll probably recall that Aaron asked the actress out on Twitter after she revealed in an interview that she had a crush on him when she was 4 years old. ET Reports:

“No, [she hasn’t responded], and that’s OK,” Carter told ET. “She doesn’t know me, and like she said, maybe we’ll meet one day. I think I was being a little too flirtatious on Twitter.”

“I think she’s beautiful. I actually had a crush on her before she even knew it. I just thought she was too young for me. Which, there was a time when she was too young; I’m going to be 30 this year.”

How young was she, Aaron? She was 7 when she started acting and she’s only 20 now so, yikes. The good news is that Aaron has decided that being single is good for him right now. In fact, he even started live-tweeting a solo road trip meant to clear his head immediately following the event, for which Aaron proudly dressed and styled himself (as seen above). According to ET:

“I went to Sephora and got myself some Laura Mercier concealer, a little bit darker, and I got airbrushed makeup. I like to do my own stuff, I like to style myself.”

Of his road trip, ET reports:

Following the event, Carter posted a video to social media saying he was about to embark on a road trip alone across the country to his home state of Florida. He also clarified that his coat is faux fur.

And from Aaron’s own fingers:

You can follow Aaron and his fake fur coat’s journey on Twitter where he’s sharing “weird profound shit” from the road.

Aaron kind of reminds me a Shih Tzu puppy you might buy at a pet shop. He’s eager to please, probably pees on himself a little when he gets excited (which happens often), has a lot of vague health problems and is a bit of a prima donna. You know his early life at the puppy mill was probably atrocious and is the reason for most of his current issues, but that doesn’t really make it any less embarrassing when he humps strangers’ legs in public. Let’s hope his newfound status as a single, road wise philosopher brings him peace and enlightenment and that he doesn’t end up getting thrown into the dog pound for loitering and begging for scraps outside of an Italian deli somewhere outside of Boca Raton.

Here’s some more of Aaron (and Aaron with Adam Lambert?) at the Project Angel Food event on Saturday night:

Pics: Wenn.com


All The Reasons Not To Care About The Solar Eclipse This Afternoon

Not sure if you heard about this, guys, but today is a BIG GODDAMN DEAL. Apparently at some point today, the moon will move across the sun, and block out some portion of its light. This hasn’t happened in a long time, and won’t happen for much longer. (Sometimes this is where I link to articles which expand on the things I’m discussing, but this is all the explanation the eclipse deserves.) People are losing their shit. Some of them are planning weekend or day trips in order to get a better view of this. People we love and cherish. And on one hand, I’m all «Follow your bliss. You do you, y’all. Plus I hear Eugene, OR is lovely this time on the year.»

But on my other, much bigger hand (it’s a medical condition, don’t ask), I’m all «Her?» Because, guys, I don’t get it.

1) The thing is that the sun is going away, yes? The sun does this on the daily. It’s called «nighttime.»

2) Nighttime doesn’t make you blind.

3) It made this happen.


And there just aren’t enough showers.

4) Again back to the traveling. I like traveling. I think it’s good to get out and start exploring. But I’m not sure if this is the chance to do that exploring. Sublist:

A) You have to travel to places like Carbondale, IL. Don’t.

B) It’s going to take a number of hours to get to a place to watch something for twenty minutes. Is that a good cost/benefit ratio in your opinion?

C) Not to mention, the traveling isn’t required to see the eclipse. It’s to see the eclipse better. So in my case, it would be ten hours of driving in order to see a twenty minute event fifteen-percent better than I can see it right here. (Or fifteen-percent better than I would see it if I’d bought those glasses, and I didn’t, so I’m not seeing anything because aforementioned blindness.) Again, is that investment worth the payoff?

4) As far as I can tell, the only truly awesome thing to come out of the eclipse is this which means at best the eclipse is awesome-adjacent. I barely get out of bed for awesome-adjacent.

In short, the only way I care about this is the extent to which it impacts my lunch. I will once again lead my example by focusing on the truly important things in life. Which reminds me, I have to decide what to eat so if you’ll excuse me, I have to devote an hour and fourty-five minutes to Yelp. Like a normal person.


Joss Whedon’s Ex-Wife Kai Cole Opens Up About Joss’s String of Affairs Dating Back to ‘Buffy’

Hi! How was your weekend? Are you ready for The Eclipse tomorrow? It’s, like, quite «the thing» in my neck of the world and nearby. We’re supposed to be able to see 99.2% where we are, but we’re going to head south a smidge so we can experience the eclipse in 100% totality. OR we’ll realize that traffic will be a nightmare and it will be better to just stay home and accept less than perfection.

Speaking of the sun, moon, and space in general, these incredibly lucky SOBs found vintage NASA flight suits at a thrift store. — (Gizmodo)

Did you binge all of The Defenders Friday night? Can you picture Jessica Jones knitting? What about Daredevil? What about both?!

Joss Whedon’s wife, Kai Cole, doesn’t hold back in a post published today detailing Joss Whedon’s string of affairs dating back to his days on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. — (The Wrap)

Pajamas as fashion is HAPPENING. It’s really a thing. OMG, I could not be happier about this! — (GFY)

Some of these pictures are very cool. I completely forgot about Viktor Yushenko. God, that poor SOB. — (Diply)

Idris is on crutches. Still looks damn fine, though. — (Lainey)

When good movies go bad at the box office, Logan Lucky edition. — (Uproxx)

One of the FOUR Game of Thrones spin-offs/prequels will be «recognizable as a past event» to book readers. — (IndieWire)

Jerry Lewis has passed away at the age of 91. — (Dlisted)

We also lost Dick Gregory this weekend. Damn. — (Time)

Rick Astley and the Foo Fighters cruelly, hilariously Rick Roll’d the Tokyo Music Festival. — (Rolling Stone)

Maybe it’s the eclipse that has me slightly on edge anyway, but, you guys, TayTay deleted ALL of her social media posts. That’s weird, isn’t it? — (Celebitchy)

That didn’t take long: Two days after being fired by Trump and re-hired by Breitbart, Bannon is already attacking H.R. McMaster on Breitbart. (The Hill)

Jane Austen’s books inspire the works of many authors. Elle Katharine White has taken Pride and Prejudice and added dragons in Heartstone. This is no word-for-word retelling with an occasional dragon thrown in but a full re-imagining. Though most of the plot won’t be a surprise, not everything works out the way it does in P&P. Which other classics should have dragons added to the story? (Cannonball Read 9)


Nick Saban Doesn’t Give A Shit About Your Solar Eclipse

Here’s some breaking news for your Sunday morning…Nick Saban could give two shits about the solar eclipse that will occur tomorrow afternoon. I know, shocking. Normally, I feel kind of bad for these Bama reporters because they never know when they’re walking into the buzzsaw that is angry Nick Saban. But when there are two weeks before kickoff weekend and you’re using that media time to ask him about some scientific phenomenon, you better expect an answer like that.

While other schools are canceling practice and worrying about how they’re going to watch the eclipse, Saban already knows what the thing looks like because he watches The Weather Channel every morning. He’s two steps ahead already.

So he’s just going to watch it on TV, in between film sessions and his second oatmeal cream pie. Basically the same experience.

Saban is already in mid-season form

This was from earlier this week


Sports Gossip, Sexy WAGs, NFL and Hot Cheerleaders: BustedCoverage

Learn More About Princess Diana’s Siblings — and How They’re Keeping Her Memory Alive

When Diana, Princess of Wales, died 20 years ago, it was not only her ex-husband Prince Charles who accompanied her body back from Paris, but also her sisters, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and Baroness Jane Fellowes. And at her funeral, her brother Charles, Earl Spencer, walked behind the gun carriage carrying her body before delivering the eulogy.

They were key roles for Diana’s grieving siblings, and since that time, they have all worked to keep their much-loved sister’s memory alive, whether that’s been by nurturing their relationship with nephews Prince William and Prince Harry, presiding over the late princess’s charity, or recalling fond memories of her. But who are they as individuals, and what are they doing now? We take a look . . .

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4 Key Things to Know About Sigourney Weaver’s Character on The Defenders

Image Source: Netflix

Sure, we’re all tuning in to The Defenders to watch Daredevil, Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist join together to fight the forces of evil in New York City, but there’s also a new baddie in town going by the name of Alexandra Reid. Alexandra, played by fierce actress Sigourney Weaver, is complex, so here’s what you need to know about both the actress and her latest character.

Warning: Light spoilers for The Defenders ahead!

Weaver Has a Stellar Résumé

In the ’70s and ’80s, Weaver starred in a handful of tiny movie franchises called Alien and Ghostbusters (ever heard of them?), so yeah, she’s a total badass. She’s also starred in a few other well-known ’80s movies, like Working Girl and Gorillas in the Mist, both of which earned her an Oscar nomination (in the same year, no less).

Image Source: Sony

In the ensuing years, Weaver has popped up here and there to deliver more great performances — as First Lady Ellen Mitchell in Dave, as the Carver matriarch in The Ice Storm, as Dr. Augustine in Avatar, and as the Director in The Cabin in the Woods. It’s the latter role that likely made Defenders executive producer Drew Goddard want to work with Weaver again, since he wrote and directed the 2012 horror film.

Her Sprawling Career Is the Reason Alexandra Was Created in the First Place

Showrunner Marco Ramirez told Entertainment Weekly that Alexandra is not someone from the Marvel comics universe and that she was specifically created with Weaver in mind. «Sigourney is the kind of person you can buy as the smartest person in the room, who you can also buy as a person holding a flamethrower,» he explained. «Her character is a very powerful force in New York City. She’s everything Sigourney is: sophisticated, intellectual, dangerous.»

Alexandra Is Immortal . . . or Is She?

Alexandra’s immortality is hinted at several times — her remarks about Constantinople and Brahms, the Twin Oaks Shipping Company documents that date back to the early 1800s with her signature on them — but eventually the show just comes right out and says that she’s an immortal being.

However, we the viewers are privy to some information no one else on the show has besides Alexandra and her doctor — she’s dying of what seems to be cancer. So, what does this mean for her immortality? It’s hard to say at this point, but Alexandra does seem a tad fearful of her illness, like this might be the one thing that brings her down or that whatever is keeping her immortal is no longer working.

Image Source: Netflix

She’s the Leader of The Hand

Stick (Scott Glenn) reveals that Alexandra has «led [The Hand] since the beginning.» The Hand’s objective has always been to deploy the human weapon known as «Black Sky,» and now we know how they do that — Alexandra brings Elektra back as the next Black Sky, following the young boy version of Black Sky’s death in Daredevil. Elektra is trained as an even deadlier warrior than before, easily taking care of the Defenders, save for Iron Fist when his fist is charged with Chi.

The other fingers of The Hand are Madame Gao, Bakuto, Murakami and Sowande, but it’s clear Alexandra is in charge.

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JAY-Z Opens Up About His Feud With Kanye and Elevator Fight With Solange

JAY-Z is ready to clear the air. The 4:44 rapper, who touched on his infidelity to Beyoncé and much more on his latest album, sat down for a rare interview with hip-hop journalist Elliott Wilson on Friday night. No topic was left off the table on the Rap Radar podcast as the father of three addressed his feud with Kanye West («You brought my family into it») and his infamous elevator fight with Solange Knowles after the 2014 Met Gala. Keep reading to see some of the most jaw-dropping details JAY-Z revealed during his candid chat.

On his feud with Kanye West: «What really hurt me was, you can’t bring my kids and my wife into it. Kanye’s my little brother. He’s talked about me a hundred times. He made a song called ‘Big Brother.’ We’ve gotten past bigger issues. But you brought my family into it and now it’s a problem with me. Now, it’s a real, real problem. He knows it’s a problem because me and him would have been talked about it, we would have been resolved our issue, but he knows he crossed the line. I know him. He knows. Not only does he have to know, I know he knows because we never let this much space go between one of our disagreements and we’ve had many. That’s part of who we are. That’s what I like about him. He’s an honest person. He’s open and he’ll say things and he’s wrong a lot of times but we’ll confront it.

«Don’t talk about anyone’s kid on stage. It’s too much energy. You give room for anybody to comment. Our children are already in this place where they are affected by our celebrity. Don’t go doing something that allows people to pit us against each other and talk about my child or even his child. Don’t do that.»

On Kanye’s decision to leave his Tidal music-streaming service: «I don’t care about none of that. It’s Kanye’s decision and has always been his decision. I’ve never held anybody back in my life from doing anything. You can’t name one time I [held] people back. From what? I don’t do that. It’s not who I am. It’s nothing about business.»

On the shocking elevator fight with Solange: «We’ve always had a great relationship. I fought my brothers and argued with my brothers my whole life. It just so happens, who we are, these things go into a different space, but it ain’t nothing. We’ve had one disagreement ever. Before and after, we’ve been cool. She’s like my sister. I will protect her. That’s my sister. Not my sister-in-law. My sister.»

On his reaction to Beyoncé’s Lemonade album: «We were working on our sh*t and becoming tight and super real with each other. That sh*t didn’t mean nothing. It’s hard, of course. It’s difficult to go through, but the real sh*t . . . I was there the whole time, the tour, the making of the album, it was therapeutic. It was good. It’s good to deal with your sh*t. It’s so worth it.»

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Some Petty Drama About Peter Kraus Becoming the Next Bachelor Is Brewing at ABC

While we still don’t know who the next Bachelor will be, we might know who it isn’t going to be: fan favorite Peter Kraus. Judging from a seemingly pointed tweet from The Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss, Peter’s behavior in the finale of the most recent season of The Bachelorette is not what the franchise is looking for.

One of the biggest problems with The Bachelor is a question that has been plaguing the reality series since its inception in 2002: can two people really find true love over the course of just one month? If you look at all the couples who have ridden off into the sunset after the credits rolled and gone on to find their own happily ever afters (be it with each other, or Fit Tea sponsorships), there’s definitely room to argue that, yes, going on The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, or Bachelor in Paradise can result in a contestant making a genuine connection with someone. Just look at BIP‘s Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert, who recently welcomed their first child, or Bachelorette couple Trista and Ryan Sutter, who have been married since 2003.

Then again, getting engaged after only knowing each other for one month is a pretty rare thing to find outside of the couples who meet within Bachelor Nation. Peter Kraus, one of the final two contestants on Rachel Lindsay’s season of The Bachelorette this year, cited this as his reason for not wanting to propose to Rachel, despite his passionate feelings for her (he said he wanted them to spend more time together as boyfriend and girlfriend first, but she refused anything other than a proposal and chose Bryan Abasolo instead). Their subsequent breakup was one of the most emotional moments in all of Bachelorette history, especially because, to many fans, it was clear that the love between Rachel and Peter was genuine. Was Peter so wrong for wanting to get to know Rachel before entering into a serious commitment? There are plenty of people who would say no, but Fleiss certainly isn’t one of them.

While rumors swirl about who the next lucky leading man on the show will be when it returns in 2018, Fleiss posted a subtweet that really seems to be aimed at Peter.

Adding to speculation that the tweet is about Peter is People‘s recent interview with an anonymous source close to the show, who revealed that Bachelor producers see the former contestant as their «worst nightmare» because he couldn’t be coerced into proposing to Rachel in the end. «The fact that no one could talk Peter into buckling under and just giving her the ring — and that he wouldn’t play along — absolutely enraged the higher-ups at the show,» the source said. «Including Fleiss, definitely. He is totally on their sh*t list forever, and there is no way they will reward him with a shot at The Bachelor. No way.»

Reality Steve, who was one of the first to break the news about the Bachelor in Paradise controversy in June (among many other Bachelor Nation bombshells), also got in on the drama about Peter with a few tweets of his own.

Let’s just pray that they don’t bring Juan Pablo back for another try.

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2017 Has Been Such Batsh*t Madness, We Haven’t Even Talked about Barb from ‘Stranger Things’ Being Nominated for a Goddamn Emmy

The Emmys are a month away. And other than the obvious snub of The Leftovers, we haven’t really given them the proper attention we would normally. Because basically the world is a sinking ship that is also on fire and is also full of rabid bats and also everyone on board has food poisoning and there’s a bear somewhere. Fancy people wearing fancy clothes and winning fancy awards is just frankly not a priority at this particular juncture. But today I realized that, in one month, assuming we are still alive and not destroyed by nuclear nazi warfare, I have to liveblog the Emmy Awards. And that this liveblog cannot be the first and only time I address the most bonkers batshit thing, unrelated to politics or science or anything else that actually matters, to occur this year.

Guys…Barb got nominated for a goddamn Emmy.


What have we done? When anthropologists and sociologists attempt to piece together where it all went wrong, I hope they examine this, too, because it’s when memes became accepted as truth, where the fun hyperbole of the internet became taken at face value, and it is nuts. NUTS.

Please, do not mistake me, Shannon Purser seems LOVELY and talented and I’m sure she would be exceptional in a role that gave her more than eight lines or five minutes of screen time, but it was pretty weird when the internet was deciding she should play Squirrel Girl LET ALONE nominating her for a goddamn Emmy when Winona goddamn Ryder wasn’t even nominated for an Emmy for this show. Finn Wolfhard’s haircut gave us more depth and development than Barb. This is like if Grumpy Cat was nominated for a Tony. IT MAKES NO SENSE. Why. WHY?

Any other year, we’d have written this post a month ago. This year we had to actually look up from the spoiled wreckage of our shitbag disaster of a nation like a broken possum and realize a) everything is shambles, b) Barb is nominated for an Emmy.

2017 is stupid.


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