Rhoda Young, the volunteer news reporter that should have EVERY single network on the planet throwing multi-million dollar deals at her!
Rhoda Young has been an amateur news reporter in the Norfolk, Virginia area for a minute and she regularly uses Facebook Live to tell the people what’s going on, but on November 27, she went pro and became a star in a big way when she and her husband rolled up on a house fire. Rhoda put the following people out of jobs: local news reporters (because she showed up to the scene first), the fire chief (because she told the firefighters what to do), the cops (because she directed traffic) and detectives (because she solved the whole damn case). Rhoda is Murphy Brown and Jessica Fletcher, and she does it all with so much fire that the flames shooting off of that house got jealous of her.
Rhoda tells The Virginian-Pilot that she and her husband Steven were on the way to the bank when they saw a cloud of black smoke wafting up into the sky. Since she is a serious journalist who knows that the story must always come first, she pressed the stop button on her errands and used her phone to report on the house fire. Rhoda streamed her news report live on Facebook, and after some technical difficulties, she opened with the line that I hope will become her catchphrase for decades to come:
“We’re on the scene of this bitch!”
In between giving the people the facts they need, she directed the firefighters to put some water on that fire and ran for her life when she thought the electrical wires were going to come down. But it wasn’t until Rhoda came along an ALLEGEDLY drunk dude drinking PBR on the lawn that her report became a live and much more riveting version of Dateline NBC. While talking to the PBR drinker, she found out that burning house was his and he was inside when the fire started. Rhoda Young put her investigative journalist skills to work and when she added up his burnt fucking pants + his singed fucking hair + him drinking fucking PBR + him being in the fucking house when it caught on fire, she got: ARSON!
Rhoda told her loyal viewers that she believes he started the fire, and then she told a fire department official the same thing. Turns out, Rhoda Young may have very well graduated with honors from Detective LaToya’s Online School of Getting To The Bottom of EVERYTHING, because the man was arrested and charged with burning an occupied dwelling.
I’d like to see Christiane Amanpour do that!
Someone put together the greatest moments of Rhoda’s report and put it on YouTube, but I know you’ve got nothing to do (I mean, you are reading Dlisted), so you should really watch all 55 uncut minutes of her important investigative report. That “thankful” filter is a perfect touch, because I am thankful this exists. But Peabody Award hopefuls aren’t thankful this exists, because Rhoda Young just ended their dreams of getting an award next year.
Rhoda Young, who works in transportation, says she’d love to have a career in reporting.
I was going to say that NBC News should quickly snatch Rhoda Young up and hire her as Matt Lauer’s replacement, but she’s too good to do in-studio fluff. Rhoda Young needs to be where the action is! I can’t wait to turn on CNN and see Rhoda roll up to the West Bank to cover the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and say, “We’re on the scene of this bitch!”
Pic: Facebook (for night flyer)