Here’s the trailer for Bright, Netflix’s attempt to corner the blockbuster market in your living room. The film stars Will Smith, Joel Edgerton (he’s the Orc), Noomi Rapace, Ike Barinholtz, and Margaret Cho, among others. It comes from David Ayer, who has made some really good movies (End of Watch) and some not so good movie, like Suicide Squad. And oh yeah: Max Landis got paid $ 3 million to write it. Based on the the trailer? The writing is not so good.
But, you can watch it on your phone on opening day! That’s December 22nd, by the way. And chances are, you will, whether it’s good or not, because Netflix has got us by our respective genitalia. Plus, it might be good. Or it might be bad in a way that we can all make fun of on Twitter while we’re watching it!
Anyway, here’s the trailer. As you can see, a lot of the $ 90 million budget clearly went to craft services.
I repeat: "THIS IS LIKE A NUKE-U-LAR BOMB THAT GRANTS WISHES" is an actual line of dialogue in Bright's trailer, oh God oh God oh God.
Everybody’s least favorite exhibitionist and notorious over-sharer Lena Dunham will have a role on the next season of Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story. Ryan announced the unexpected casting choice yesterday via Twitter.
Thrilled that my talented friend Lena Dunham is joining the AMERICAN HORROR STORY family. Always wanted to work together, and now we r!
No news yet as to what role Lena will be playing, or even what exactly the season will be about. Variety reports:
Additional details about Dunham’s role have not yet been revealed. The title of “AHS” Season 7, which Murphy previously revealed will be inspired by the 2016 presidential election, will be announced on Thursday.
Other cast members confirmed for season 7 of AHS are series vets Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters, as well as Billie (with an “IE”) Lourd and Billy (with a “Y”) Eichner. Two days ago, Ryan teased a photo from the set and encouraged fans to speculate on what it all means.
Hmm, that’s a good one, Ryan. Let’s see… bees, an election and unwanted nudity. Ok, since Lena is always putting her foot in her mouth, maybe she’s playing an unpopular politician who gets stranded on Wickerman Island and has to result to self-cannibalism, starting with her feet and working her way up her body, until all that’s left are two overly lined eyeballs that get eaten up by a vengeful Lamby. Somebody better pay me a bajillion dollars if this guess turns out to be correct.
It’s always fun to see the Game of Thrones cast out of character, but it’s especially crazy to see them posting pictures of each other on Instagram. Thanks to social media, there have been some pretty glorious character mashups as different actors snap photos together. Ramsay actually making Sansa happy? Arya and Melisandre on The Iron Throne? Oh, and then there’s the supercute, borderline heartbreaking picture of Robb Stark and Jon Snow together again. Just for fun, take a look at some of the all-time best Instagram snaps from the Game of Thrones cast, then check out the show moments that scarred you for life and why Jon Snow is the saddest, sexiest guy in the Seven Kingdoms.
As you know, San Diego Comic Con is happening and I’m not there because of poorness and such. You may also know that Deadpool 2: Electric Shootaloo is not showing anything at SDCC this year, since the title of this post doesn’t include the words Deadpool 2: Electric Shootaloo.
Fret not, kids. I have something wonderful for you. Though it is just under three minutes long, Archer meeting Eggsy from Kingsman: The Golden Circle is filled with charm, idiocy, and booze. It’s everything you could want from the world’s greatest spy and the British one. Enjoy!
Usher has herpes. That’s not the big news. The big news is that he knowingly and willfully had unprotected sex with a woman WHILE he knew he had herpes and he gave it to her and now he has to pay her a million dollars. That has to sting. Along with the green discharge from his penis. — (People)
And because Jenny Slate is a FAR nicer person than I am or will ever be, she stuck with her date, the knight until it was over. — (Nylon)
Nope, that’s not a wax figure of Kate Hudson. Or Khloe Kardashian. Or even BritBrit. ALLEGEDLY, that’s Madame Tussaud’s version of Bey. — (Celebitchy)
And here’s the one of Kylie Jenner. And also Kylie Jenner. I don’t know which one is the wax figure and which one is the person, because OMGIDON’TCARE ENOUGH ABOUT HER TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE. — (GFY)
Jada sets the record straight on how she met Tupac back in Baltimore — while she was dealing drugs! — (Page 6)
More details about the cult-like situation going on in R. Kelly’s house. Seriously, he is really a disgusting human. — (Dlisted)
ElCicco is no stranger to thank you’s from authors, but her review of Rachel Kadish’s The Weight of Ink not only got a shout out from the author, but also by the publisher, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, with a nod to Cannonball Read’s mission to fight cancer. Set in the 17th and 21st centuries "the question that torments our main characters has to do with how one lives one’s life and supports one’s beliefs: is it better to die for what you believe or to live at all costs?" Which would you choose? (Cannonball Read 9)
Today sucked. The news of Chester Bennington broke my heart. I needed something to make me smile, so looked at these cute and funny doggo pictures. Guaranteed to make you smile too! — (Bored Panda)
We’ve seen a lot of terrifying stuff on Game of Thrones, but for those times when we want to get spooked after the season finale, we can still rely on the GOT cast to provide scares. The talented actors on the show have branched out into basically every other entertainment medium — like hip-hop music — including horror films. We know that you want to see the bone-chilling projects your favorite cast has worked on outside of the Seven Kingdoms, so we’ve rounded up all the scary movies that they’ve starred in just in time for Halloween. This list is dark and full of terrors . . . enjoy!
After serving almost 9 years of a possible 33-year sentence for armed robbery and attempted kidnapping in Nevada, O.J. Simpson has been granted parole. The juice will soon be loose; everyone prepare yourselves accordingly.
O.J. appeared live from his home since 2008, the Lovelock Correctional Facility in Nevada, for a parole board hearing with Nevada’s Board of Parole Commissioners today. They asked a bunch of questions over almost two hours to determine whether O.J. has served enough time for his involvement in an extremely messy post-wedding memorabilia heist in Las Vegas on September 13th, 2007. If it were up to karma, I’m sure the answer would be “Oh hell to the no.” But the decision was made by a chairman and three commissioners, and they decided to release O.J.’s 70-year-old ass from prison.
The parole board brought up O.J.’s 1995 acquittal, but only to say it wasn’t going to factor into their decision. What a tease! I was honestly expecting some drama, like for one of the parole board members to grab their mic and yell: “I don’t care what the law says! I saw the way Ross from Friends looked at Cuba Gooding Jr. during that final episode.”
No one testified against O.J. during the hearing. In O.J.’s cheerleading corner was his daughter Arnelle Simpson, who read a statement from their family saying they wanted their dad to come home, and Bruce Fromong, one of the victims of the robbery who today is close friends with O.J.
If you missed the livestream of the parole hearing, here it is:
O.J.’s not packing up his toothbrush and homemade duct tape shower shoes just yet. TMZ says the earliest he can be released is October 1st. That gives him plenty of time to hit up the prison computer lab and start searching the online classifieds for a job. You know, since he still has a $ 33.5 million wrongful death judgement to take care of.
Last year we learned that Ford was bringing back the Bronco. And now today a parole board has decided to bring back O.J. into society. I don’t know what kind of weird metaphysical butterfly effect that first decision caused, or if it’s just a coincidence, but I’m sure scientists will be studying it for years to come.
Chanel better shutter its windows in the Place Vendôme, Louis Vuitton can lock up on the Champs-Élysées, and Dior can certainly close its door. Why, you ask? Because Celine Dion’s reign over Paris continues, and she’s sucking all the glamour up for herself! Celine got tired of all the snotty Vogue writers blabbing about her on Instagram, so she decided to grace our souls with a visual performance.
Last week, I may have spoke too soon, because Queen Slay-line starts out rocking a Marie Antoinette weave. Then she hits the streets to show the City of Lights the “Best Singah In Da Wer-uld!” is THAT and so much more:
Celine looks like Miss Clavel after she just broke free from Madeline and those eleven other snotty brats at the Paris boarding house. She then wears the material from many a couch in Boca Raton, talks to the camera like she’s here to recreate Lemonade, high kicks, gyrates…basically everything short of scaling the Eiffel Tower, and I’m sure that’s only a matter of time!
Celine rocks shrink-wrap while breaking every health code in a kitchen. Or does she? It’s France! Her other Parisian lewks include one that has her looking like an extra from Memoirs Of A Geisha before transitioning into a matador (wrong countries, Celine!). She somehow winds up on a boat, cruising down the Seine, fucking her hat and biting off the face of a mannequin. Which I would also do if I spent all day in a corset. All in a couture day’s work!
On a TOTALLY unrelated note, all the Speed has mysteriously vanished from the drug dealers in Paris.
Lea Michele has moved from the brothel to the boardroom, as Us Weekly reports. The Glee star is dating Zandy Reich, the president of clothing company AYR.
Zandy. Sigh. Now all I can think of is whata People magazine cover would have looked like if Zsa Zsa Gabor and Andy Griffith had the real-life Green Acres love affair America never knew it needed. ANYWHO.
Despite moving him into her home and thinking that her Eliza Doolittle plot was working, Lea’s ex-boo and ex-gigolo (not to Lea…that we know of!) Matthew Paetzdumped her back in 2016, and it seems like she’s finally ready to take the Barbra Streisand vinyl off the player and join the world in hope of a good deep dicking.
Jessica Lange’s red carpet tiremarks and the clothing exec were spotted holding hands in New York. That obviously means they are dating. Or Lea just needed help standing up after being told she didn’t have to tip Zandy after they parted ways. Here they are together.
Lea previously dated the late Corey Monteith, Lipstick Jungle alum and courtside panty pleaserRobert Buckley, and of course, Matthew, whom Us Weekly refers to as a model, and I’ll refer to as “For a good time, call.”
A not-as-barfy Jennifer Lawrence crawled away from wherever she was recovering from the stomach flu to appear at a charity comedy show with Amy Schumer last night in New York. I hope the first row was given plastic ponchos to wear in the event her Pepto-Bismol wore off – Lainey Gossip
“Rich Bitch with a Plane” sounds like a perfect title for a Real Housewife’s memoirs – Reality Tea
Senator John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer – Celebitchy
I like to think that the next time this shark shows up, it will be wearing a curly blonde wig and instructing a school of fish to spell out “I won’t be ignored, Mick” – Towleroad
In an alternate reality, Bella Thorne is just some random girl who gets kicked out of Sephora for painting her toenails with the polish samples – Hollywood Tuna