A Complete List of All the Actors Originally Considered for Roles in the Marvel Universe

Iron Man

Director

Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator) was attached to direct when Iron Man was first developed in 1990.

Quentin Tarantino was approached to develop the movie in 1999.

Joss Whedon briefly became attached to the project in 2000.

Nick Cassavetes (The Notebook) was actually announced as the director of Iron Man in 2004.

Iron Man

Nicolas Cage was attached in 1996.

Tom Cruise was going to develop it as a starring vehicle for himself in 1998.

Clive Owen was considered.

Sam Rockwell was considered.

Hugh Jackman was offered the role.

Timothy Olyphant screen tested for the part.

Pepper Potts

Rachel McAdams was Favreau’s first choice, but she declined.

Black Widow

Jessica Biel, Gemma Arterton, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie were all considered for the role of Black Widow. Eliza Dushku campaigned for the part.

Emily Blunt was originally cast as Black Widow, but had to pull out due to scheduling conflicts.

Justin Hammer

Al Pacino was first considered.

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Thor

Director

Sam Raimi was attached in the 1990s.

David Goyer was attached in 2004.

Matthew Vaughn was attached in 2005.

D.J. Caruso was considered in 2008.

Kenneth Branagh declined to direct the sequel.

Patty Jenkins was originally hired to direct the sequel but negotiations broke down.

Tom Hiddleston jokingly offered to direct, but was turned down due to lack of experience.

Thor

Daniel Craig was the first choice to play Thor.

Channing Tatum and WWE wrestler Paul Levesque (aka Triple H) were considered.

Charlie Hunnam, Tom Hiddleston, Alexander Skarsgård, and Joel Kinnaman tested for the role.

Chris Hemsworth ultimately beat out his brother, Liam, for the title role.

Tom Hiddleston also auditioned for Thor.

Loki

Jim Carrey was originally the favorite for the role.

Josh Hartnett was rumored.

Charlie Cox auditioned for the role.

Fandral

Zachary Levi was approached to play Fandral, but had to turn it down due to scheduling conflicts.

Dominic Cooper was rumored.

Stuart Townsend was cast, but left due to creative differences.

Malekith

Mads Mikkelsen was considered, but bowed out due to scheduling conflicts.

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Captain America

Director

Louis Leterrier offered, but Marvel declined.

Jon Favreau and Nick Cassavetes were also considered for earlier incarnation of the movie.

Captain America

Sam Worthington and Will Smith advanced to the «talks» stage.

Garrett Hedlund, Channing Tatum, Scott Porter, Mike Vogel, Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans, Wilson Bethel, John Krasinski, Michael Cassidy, Chace Crawford and Jensen Ackles were shortlisted.

Kellan Lutz, Ryan Phillippe, Dane Cook, Kevin Jonas, Joe Jonas, and Alexander Skarsgård auditioned.

Agent Carter

Alice Eve, Gemma Arterton, and Keira Knightley were considered.

Emily Blunt declined.

Sharon Carter

Anna Kendrick, Felicity Jones, Imogen Poots, Teresa Palmer, Alison Brie, Emilia Clarke, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Elizabeth Olsen, and Jessica Brown Findlay were all considered.

Crossbones

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Kevin Durand, and Josh Holloway all screen tested.

Falcon

Michael B. Jordan read for the role.

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Avengers

Director

Jon Favreau was originally attached (he declined, but helped produce)

Joe Carnahan was considered.

The Hulk

Edward Norton was set to reprise his role form the Louis Leterrier film, but negotiations broke down. Mark Ruffalo, who was considered for the Leterrier film, stepped in.

Joaquin Phoenix was rumored.

Agent Maria Hill

Amanda Peet was considered.

Morena Baccarin, Jessica Lucas, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead screen tested.

The Scarlet Witch

Saoirse Ronan and Sasha Pietersen were considered.

Lindsay Lohan auditioned.

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Guardians of the Galaxy

Peter Quill

Joel Edgerton, Eddie Redmayne, Jensen Ackles, Lee Pace, Wes Bentley, Jack Huston, Cam Gigandet, Sullivan Stapleton, Logan Marshall-Green, Garrett Hedlund, Chris Lowell, James Marsden, Jim Sturgess, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Aaron Paul, Michael Rosenbaum, Glenn Howerton, and John Krasinski all auditioned, screen tested or were considered.

Rocket Raccoon

Adam Sandler, David Tennant, Sharlto Copley, Jim Carrey, and H. Jon Benjamin were considered as the voice.

Gamora

Gina Carano, Rachel Nichols, and Adrianne Palicki auditioned.

Olivia Wilde declined.

Drax the Destroyer

Jason Momoa declined due to scheduling conflicts.

Isaiah Mustafa, Brian Patrick Wade, and Djimon Hounsou were considered (Hounsou landed a different role).

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Ant-Man

Director

Edgar Wright obviously developed the project before being replaced by Peyton Reed. Adam McKay, Ruben Fleischer, Rawson Marshall Thurber, Nicholas Stoller , Michael Dowse, and David Wain were also considered.

Scott Lang/Ant-Man (Paul Rudd)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt was considered.

Adrien Brody expressed interest.

Ewen McGregor was short-listed.

Wasp (written out)

Rashida Jones and Emma Stone were considered.

Hank Pym (Michael Douglas)

Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan, and Gary Oldman were all considered.

Hope van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly)

Jessica Chastain declined

Paxton (Bobby Cannavale)

Patrick Wilson was originally cast, but had to leave due to scheduling conflicts

Civl War

Spider-Man (Tom Holland)

Everyone under the age of 25 who wasn’t already in the Marvel universe auditioned for the role. Asa Butterfield, Nat Wolff, Charlie Plummer, Timothee Chalamet, and Liam James made it to the short list.

Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman)

Chad L. Coleman (The Wire, The Walking Dead) was also considered for the role. Morris Chestnut was also rumored.

Sharon Carter (Emily VanCamp)

Anna Kendrick, Felicity Jones and Imogen Poots were also considered for the role.

Doctor Strange

Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch)

Oscar Isaac, Matthew McConaughey, Ethan Hawke, Jared Leto, Ewan McGregor, and Jake Gyllenhaal were all reportedly on the short list.

The Ancient One (Tilda Swinton)

Morgan Freeman, Ken Watanabe, and Bill Nighy were reportedly up for the role.

Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Peter Quill’s father (Kurt Russell)

Matthew McConaughey declined.

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The Weekender: Paris Fashion Week

The couture capital of the world is never more stylish than during fashion month’s grand finale: Paris Fashion Week. Starting September 25th, Paris will play host to fashion’s top players – this year more than ever thanks to the wave of labels including Altuzarra and Thom Browne that have migrated from NYFW to Paris. But the rest of the city doesn’t brake for fashion, so all through PFW, you’ll be able to enjoy the classic City of Lights experience – only accentuated by model and A-list celeb sightings.

So without further adieu, see below for a stylish weekend in Paris during its busiest (and most fashionable) time.

Where to Stay:

Every detail of the Karl Lagerfeld-designed Les Grands Appartements (inside Hôtel de Crillon, A Rosewood Hotel) came from the mind of the iconic creative director—down to the marble tile. Lagerfeld also conceived of the furniture and color schemes throughout the apartment’s two suites, which can be combined into one large Chanel-approved pied-a-terre. In case it’s booked, the hotel also offers another fashion-forward abode: the Suite Louis XV, which features spacious walk-in wardrobes and an abundance of mirrors. In between wardrobe changes, check out the breathtaking view of the Eiffel Tower and Grand Palais.

Inside the Living Room of Les Grands Appartements

Inside the Living Room of Les Grands Appartements

Where to Eat:

Speaking of breathtaking views, book a table at three-time Michelin star winner Epicure to enjoy top-shelf caviar over unbeatable views of the gardens at the landmark Le Bristol hotel. And for the cheese-lover in us all—c’mon, don’t fight it—Fromagerie Quatrehomme is your new happy place. The cheesemonger’s selection is unmatched, and shopping there is more like having a professional consultation than buying groceries. Finally, for a delectable dinner, visit Michelin star-winning hotspot Le George inside the Four Seasons Hotel George V, Paris. Between the Baccarat chandelier, paper sculptures by Junior Fritz Jacquet and menu items like an onion tart served with a Parmesan ice cream, the hardest part about dining here will be deciding where to direct your focus.

The Caviar at Epicure, inside Le Bristol

The Caviar at Epicure, inside Le Bristol

Where to Shop:

If you’re looking to kill two birds with one stone, hit up Merci Boutique, a shop that stocks artisanal knick-knacks as well as trending fashion pieces and doubles as a café. Once you’ve filled up on Merci’s light bites and home goods selection, the fashion-crowd pleaser Colette will serve as your ultimate shopping destination; the world-renowned department store is known for its ability to mix luxury fashion that is classic with what’s modern during any given season.

Inside Merci Boutique

Inside Merci Boutique

Main Image: Pinterest.com

The post The Weekender: Paris Fashion Week appeared first on DuJour.

DuJour

Richard Simmons Has To Pay The National Enquirer’s Legal Fees

richard

Earlier this year, Richard Simmons hit the National Enquirer with a defamation lawsuit for running a story, claiming he was transgender and transition. Richard lost that lawsuit this summer. Now TMZ is reporting that not only did he lose his case, he has to pay the Enquirer’s legal fees.

TMZ reports:

According to court docs, Simmons has been ordered to cover attorney costs and any other court fees incurred by the Enquirer. You’ll recall, Richard sued the tabloid for defaming him with a story saying he was in the process of sexual reassignment.

Boo! I have couple of fuck yous to give away. One goes out to the Enquirer for running this bullshit story. Richard is whatever Richard says he is. I say he’s a rainbow filled butterfly of light and positivity but his sexuality, whatever he has in his short shorts and what he does with it is none of my goddamned business. White Reebok hightop to the head for you, Enquirer! And another fuck you to Mauro Oliveira, the person Richard has accused of selling lies (according to Richard) to the Enquirer.

As to the ruling in this case, my gut tells me to give the judge a hearty “fuck you and the busted ass mule you rode in on” but it seems, there is a tricky precedent here to consider. According to Vanity Fair:

(Judge) Keosian writes that being called transgender, however falsely applied, does not meet the criteria for libel because, in the words of California law, the claim doesn’t “expose any person to hatred, contempt, ridicule, or obloquy, or which causes him to be shunned or avoided, or which has a tendency to injure him in his occupation.” In other words, transgender is not a shameful designation, and Keosian won’t risk making it one by ruling in Simmons’s favor.

Vanity Fair suggests that the judge has decided apply the law by treating being transgender as it does race wherein “Like race, being transgender is an immutable characteristic.” and that “While, as a practical matter, the characteristic may be held in contempt by a portion of the population, the court will not validate those prejudices by legally recognizing them”.

In 2003 Tom Cruise won a libel suit in Los Angeles after somebody called him gay in public (and was awarded $ 10 Million dollars) but in 2012 a New York appeals court ruled that being gay was “no longer slander”.

So, as they say, it’s complicated. I have no keen insight or business opining about the nuances of this ruling, but I am sad that Richard is the one caught up in this expensive public battle. I say Richard should refuse to pay the Enquirer a cent! Instead, he should send them a pair of his skidmark-stained Underoos. Actually, scratch that idea. Richard shits diamonds and other flawless gemstones, so his skidmarks are probably worth millions!

Pic: Wenn.com

Dlisted

Darren Aronofsky Responds To CinemaScore’s F Grade For “Mother!”

'Mother!' Premiere - Arrivals

If I’m to take anything away from Requiem for a Dream (you know, besides drugs are bad), it’s that Darren Aronofsky makes whatever film he wants to make, no matter how fucked up or weird, and doesn’t care. Most of the time Darren’s bonkers movies are well received. And sometimes – cough mother! cough – they’re not.

Despite some critics enjoying Darren’s latest cinematic fever dream, audiences felt it was more like the part of the fever that makes you poop your pants and barf that sour neon yellow acid. It didn’t make a whole lot of money, and its currently sitting on the audience film survey site CinemaScore with a dismal F rating.

Darren was recently asked about that big fat F during a Q&A by The Frame (via The Hollywood Reporter) after the screening of the film in Los Angeles. Darren is totally fine that audiences are walking away from mother! confused and weirded out, because his goal was to make a “punk” movie (scarf dad is totally punk). But he is a little bummed people are being so mean about it.

“What’s interesting about that is, like, how if you walk out of this movie are you not going to give it an F? It’s a punch. It’s a total punch. I realize that we were excited by that. We wanted to make a punk movie and come at you. And the reason I wanted to come is because I was very sad and I had a lot of anguish and I wanted to express it.

Filmmaking is such a hard journey. People are constantly saying no to you. And to wake up every morning and get out of bed and to face all those ‘no’s, you have to be willing to really believe in something.”

Darren adds that when he pitched the film to Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem, he informed them the film wasn’t going to be a “popularity contest.” He wanted to make a message movie about the current state of things.

“All of us are doing this. But that final chapter hasn’t been written and hopefully things can change. And, to go back, the fact that it’s going down right now and things are really falling apart in a way that is really scary.”

I haven’t seen mother!, but I did spoil every single aspect of it for myself, including that ending. I don’t know if that F score is because audiences had a hard time watching (SEMI-SPOILER ALERT) all that gore, or if they were just pissed off that they got misled by the marketing. If you’re going to open the trailer with a serene-looking Jennifer Lawrence walking around a gorgeous farm house in some casual country wear, you should maybe preface it with a warning. “PLEASE NOTE: The following trailer is not for an Under the Tuscan Sun-style film about America’s Cool Sweetheart searching for the perfect travertine tile for her dream house.

Pic: Wenn.com

Dlisted

A Weak Excuse To Talk About Guy Ritchie’s ‘The Man From U.N.C.L.E.’

Spend enough time in the amorphous blob of sarcasm and theory that is Film Twitter and you’ll see which factions have taken form. It’s like the high school lunch table hierarchy, only way more pedantic and more invested in your opinions on David Lynch. There are the stalwart defenders of Jai Courtney, the ones who passive-aggressively tweet about how they’re not at any of the major film festivals (myself included), the awards prognosticators and the opposition to such practices, the avid haters of bad cinema etiquette, ones who aren’t straight white dudes, and much more.

The best bloc, however, without context, are the lifetime lovers of Guy Ritchie’s 2015 big-screen adaptation of the classic 1960s spy drama, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Upon its release, the movie, starring Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer and Alicia Vikander, flopped pretty spectacularly, grossing a mere $ 109m from a $ 75m budget. Reviews were mixed to positive, but it just seemed as though few filmgoers were interested in putting their money down to watch a remake of an old TV show starring the guys from the flop remake of The Lone Ranger and the least interesting Superman. Perhaps it wasn’t a big enough IP for an international audience, or maybe Cavill’s star power holds no sway when DC aren’t involved. Whatever the reason, I wasn’t surprised that the film under-performed, but when I eventually saw the film that Summer, its disappointing numbers stung even more. That it has found new life as a favourite amongst film critics doesn’t seem to have uplifted Ritchie’s spirits, as this news brought him much confusion when informed of it during the press tour for his much less fun but still not half bad King Arthur movie (no seriously, it’s not that bad, I had a good time at it!)

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Let’s be clear — The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is a great blockbuster. It’s the kind of breezy big-budget lark we see so little of in the age of expanded universes and multi-film franchises that must adhere to the strictest of central narratives. Ritchie, who experienced an unlikely career resurgence through his twist on the Sherlock Holmes story, seems unconcerned with sticking to the structural and stylistic rules of current Summer movie fare. This is a proudly old-school movie imbued with Ritchie’s slick vibrancy. Centred on CIA agent Napoleon Solo and KGB operative Illya Kuryakin, the unlikely duo are forced to work together alongside a German mechanic to stop an icy Italian socialite from potential world destruction, but the plot is almost unimportant. Don’t let those details get in the way of you having a marvellous time.

Want to know how good The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is? It makes Henry freaking Cavill charismatic. The dullest Superman to ever done the cape, the one who looks like he wouldn’t know joy if it yanked him by the pants, is front and centre here, charming and magnetic and having the time of his life. There isn’t a moment in this film where Cavill doesn’t look like the cat who got the cream, and it’s reviving to the spirit to watch unfold. He’s so charismatic, you can’t help but wonder if he made some sort of cursed monkey’s paw deal with Zack Snyder to land the Superman gig on the condition he have his charm sucked out of him by a Dementor. He strides through each scene, clad in only the finest apparel, with the knowing smirk of a man who knows exactly what kind of hero he is. It’s a familiar trope but with so many blockbusters these days utterly determined to starve themselves of joy, it’s oddly refreshing to see a film where the hero actually likes being a hero.

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I’ve written a lot about Hammer this week already, so check out that post for further thoughts, but he’s also wonderful in a more stoic role. His best scenes are easily his ones with Vikander, as their chemistry steams off the screen. The glorious scene where she drunkenly dances in the background while he futilely tries to focus on his chess game is one for the ages. Both Vikander and Elizabeth Debicki get substantial roles where they’re involved in the action and driving the plot, something that shouldn’t be as rare as it is in these days of ceaseless blockbusters. Like everyone else in the cast, they’re also having an amazing time.

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I’ve heard the criticism from some that the film is nothing but style, and my response to that is: Yes? And?
This is a GQ photo-shoot come to life. Every character is dressed with the most covetable of looks. Vikander and Debicki’s wardrobes alone are the stuff of dreams. At its heart, this is a film about good looking people saving the world and looking even better while doing it, which can be exhausting but when it’s executed with such panache and unabashed delight, why complain? The style is the substance here. Ritchie knows what he’s doing: The camera moves with such fluidity through each scene, the action set-pieces are dynamic and crisply put together, and the geometric split-screen and wipe effects are a charming throwback to the ’60s atmosphere. Sure, there’s not much weight to the plot or the stakes — it’s as light as champagne bubbles — but frankly, it’s about time we had more movies where two handsome men bicker over whether a woman’s belt should match her dress. Any movie with a jazz flute dominated score is not one lacking in self-awareness.

Not everything about the film works — it’s a depressingly white affair and one moment involving an old Nazi doctor doesn’t pack the potency it should, especially when it’s followed up with a slapstick gag — yet when I find myself in need of a good pick-me-up, it’s always The Man From U.N.C.L.E. I turn to. I like fun. I like good looking people in clothes to die for, and I like watching people enjoy themselves, unburdened by the portentous weight of faux-nobility. We deserve nice things, and there’s nothing nicer than Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer straddling a moped as they fight crime. The chances of us getting a sequel are slim, so let’s appreciate the good stuff when we have it.

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Watch Lady Gaga’s Epic, Sweeping Halftime Show Performance All Over Again

Lady Gaga delivered a Super Bowl Haltime Show to remember in Houston earlier this year, and it’s what her new Netflix documentary Gaga: Five Foot Two builds up to. The film actually ends just before her big performance, so if you’ve just finished watching the doc, you’re probably itching to re-watch the performance right about now.

There’s so much to go over: the stunning set list spanning her entire career, the incorporation of hundreds of drones, all those incredible outfits, and more and more and more. We’re still obsessed, so why not watch the spectacle a few more times to make sure you’re well-versed in all the madness? Relive the performance of a lifetime above, from that rooftop dive to the mic drop at the very end.

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The Best Performances In an Otherwise Terrible Movie

We’ve written about good performances in bad movies before, but thankfully (or less-than-thankfully), it’s a well that doesn’t really run dry.

Stanley Tucci in Transformers: Age of Extinction

Every once in a while, the planets align and I am slightly shocked to remember that Stanley Tucci was amazing in Transformers: Age of Extinction. Not in-comparison-to-Mark-Wahlberg amazing, or amazing-for-a-Transformers-movie amazing. Genuinely really good, even saddled with a bullshit character (buffoonish Steve Jobs type who wants to build his own Transformers) and bullshit lines like «it’s picking up metal and dropping it!» My perpetual shock is less an indictment of Tucci—who is, after all, magic—than of Bay, whom I am so used to not having even halfway decent performances in all his non-Pain and Gain movies.

Lee Pace in The Hobbit trilogy

Oh, the wasted potential of the Hobbit movies. We wanted Peter Jackson’s triumphant return to Middle-Earth; instead, we get a one-book story inexplicably ($ $ $ ) stretched across three movies, with Jackson’s desperate attempts to wring some more story out of this, someone, somehow, please resulting in Thorin tripping balls in a large gold jacuzzi and way more screentime for Unibrow Grima Wormtongue than anyone ever wanted or needed. But there is one indisputably brilliant thing about the Hobbit trilogy, and it is Lee Pace as Thranduil, King of the Mirkwood Elves and Middle-Earth’s number one drama queen. Him riding up on a giant elk in Thorin’s hour of greatest need, only to abandon the dwarves with a majestic «fuck you, I’m too good for this» head turn at the last moment, would be the highlight of any trilogy, not just this one. (Looking at you, Godfather.)

Michael Sheen in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2

Watching Breaking Dawn — Part 2 for the first time in preparation for this post, I was prepared for it to be bad, but I wasn’t prepared to it to be as soul-crushingly awful as it was. It’s a deeply stupid movie, but one that—unlike some other deeply stupid movies—isn’t able to achieve a consistent level of camp entertainment. Breaking Dawn — Part 2, a movie where Kristen Stewart fights a mountain lion, is boring. Nothing happens in it. Here’s a summary:

*Bella and Edward find out that the Evil Vampires are coming for their Uncanny Valley Satan Baby
*The good vampire clan maxes out their frequent flyer miles to bring a whole bunch of bloodsuckers out to Washington.
*A fight happens
*Except it doesn’t, really
*The end

I’d be slightly impressed at the sheer balls Lionsgate must have had to make a movie with no plot if I weren’t busy being bewildered by the whole thing. (Let’s not get into the fact that it made over $ 800 million.) Practically this movie’s sole saving grace—and I say practically, because YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!?!?!?—is Michael Sheen as Aro, the leader of the no, fuck it, you don’t care. Sheen infuses every second of his far-too-brief screentime with an energy that can best be described as «unhinged.» You’ve all seen the laugh, above. In a movie filled with otherwise talented actors sleepwalking through their performances, Sheen is the only person who knows what the fuck movie he’s in, or at least should be in. (Rami Malek and Lee Pace are also mildly entertaining, though I would have enjoyed them more if I weren’t busy cringing and averting my eyes every time Noel Fisher was on-screen.) And why wouldn’t Sheen be the standout? He served his time in the Underworld franchise. He knows that nobody’s watching a movie where vampires fight werewolves for the nuanced performances. If you’re not bringing balls to the wall insanity, you’re doing it wrong. Even when he’s in the background, he’s pulling faces like this:

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(I tried to find a shot where Robert Pattinson’s eyes weren’t half-closed, but there wasn’t one.)

Alan Rickman, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Alan Rickman famously turned down the role of the Sheriff of Nottingham twice, finally accepting the part on the condition that director Kevin Reynolds would let him interpret the character however he wanted. The result is a core of pure scenery-chewing brilliance at the center of what is otherwise a completely bland film. The key to many good performances in bad movies, and something that Rickman fully embraced in Prince of Thieves, is to not pretend the movie is something better or different than it is. Rickman has admitted that the Prince of Thieves script was «terrible,» and that as a result he enlisted some friends to give him some good lines. (Example: The «You. My room. 10:30 tonight. You. 10:45… Bring a friend» bit.) No wonder he was nominated for a BAFTA.

Eva Green in 300: Rise of an Empire

A good chunk of Eva Green’s career is built on the somewhat dubious foundation of being the best part of bad movies. (Oh halloo, Dark Shadows). Never is that more true than in the ill-begotten 300: Rise of an Empire, in which Green is the only actor who—never mind good—is even able to make an impression. Yes, I include co-star Lena Headey in that assessment. Lena Headey never made out with a decapitated head. You ham it the fuck up, Eva.

Billy Zane, Titanic

Over in the bizarro world, my goatee-sporting doppelganger is writing a version of this post called «What Are the Worst Performances In the Best Movies?,» and somehow Billy Zane in Titanic is still on it. You can make a case for both. It all depends on your opinion of Titanic: a sweeping romantic epic that soars against a historical background, or a sweeping historical epic with a bullshit, cliched romance plotline as the iceberg that drags the whole thing down.

As you may guess, the clean-shaven Rebecca is in the latter camp. Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio are both incredibly talented, charismatic actors, and they’re not bad here, but nor are their fairly by-the-book performances able to distract from the fact that Jack and Rose don’t even go here. The only fictional character I didn’t want to yank offscreen with one of those vaudeville hooks so I could focus on the real-life events of the Titanic’s sinking was Billy Zane as Rose’s snobby, vain fiancé Cal. James Cameron doesn’t really give a shit about working with actors («I made Titanic because I wanted to dive to a shipwreck, not because I particularly wanted to make the movie«… yeah, we know), and Zane took advantage of the lack of supervision to go full cartoon villain. Too bad the rest of his career hasn’t really worked out.

Tilda Swinton, Constantine

There’s a lot that’s wrong with the 2005 comic book adaptation Constantine, but its biggest problems you can lay at the feet of one man: Keanu Reeves. Bless Reeves’ tiny cotton socks, but there are things he’s good at, and things he’s not, and the role of dry-witted, misanthropic demon hunter John Constantine swallowed him whole. He spends the entire movie looking like he’s half asleep.

That only makes the comparison between him and the movie’s best actor—Tilda Swinton, playing the angel Gabriel—all the more stark. Swinton spends every second of their shared screentime stomping all over her beleaguered co-star, and despite only being in three scenes, she’s the movie’s biggest takeaway by far. Tilda Swinton as an androgynous angel who turns out to be insane? Yes, please. The end of the movie leaves Gabriel in a pretty terrible place—their plans to bring about the Apocalypse foiled, their wings burned off, condemned by God to live a human life. Gabriel’s response, at this point, to their inability to goad Constantine into taking revenge honestly counts among the top ten line readings in all of cinema history, ever. Skip to 1:10. «You could have shot me, John!»

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Josh Duhamel Plays The Pious Card In His Split From Fergie

Tom Ford Autumn/Winter 2015 Womenswear Collection Presentation - Red Carpet Arrivals

Fergie and Josh Duhamel are the latest celebrity marriage casualty, and, considering what he’s allegedly like to flight attendants, I can only imagine how those divorce proceedings are going to go. Ideally, it would involve Fergie-Ferg crooning “MILF$ ” during alimony discussions and then conclude with “Big Girls Don’t Cry” when Josh only gets an eighth of the spousal support he wanted and has to go back to flying Spirit. What? It’s not like he’s getting THAT much syndication residuals from Las Vegas. In actuality, it sounds more like Josh is working the “I tried!” angle.

If Page Six is to be believed, Josh is basically a choir boy who didn’t like how Fergie was “partying” again. A source says Fergie has recently gone back to her old rock star ways, and that sent their marriage six feet under.

“[Fergie] was very focused on her album and being a rock star again, and Josh felt like she was going back to her ‘old ways.’”

Considering there were no signs during her Rock in Rio concert that she forgot to hook up her catheter, Fergie isn’t back to the old ways I initially thought he was referring to. Page Six’s story alludes to her dark druggie past when she was a member of Wild Orchid, but there haven’t been any signs of her doing that either.

Dammit, Josh, what are these old rock star ways that have your panties in a bunch? Oh, wait. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she can’t sing a song without spelling something out. Was she constantly spelling things out? Yeah, I’d get tired of T-H-A-T to the T-O-O, Josh. So not G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S.

Check out Fergie-Ferg rocking out on the Today Show earlier today (and clearly giving Hoda Kotb the feels!):

Pics: Wenn.com

Dlisted

Albert Haynesworth Lets All The Real Women Know That He’s “Trying To Smash”

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Albert Haynesworth hasn’t played football since 2011 and I’m willing to guess that most people haven’t thought about Albert Haynesworth since 2011. But all of the sudden, this random week in 2017, Big Al pops up again and you probably could’ve guessed it, but it wasn’t for the most positive reasons.

Basically, he accused his ex-girlfriend, via Twitter, of physical and emotional abuse when they were together. He lays out the backstory in these tweets:

Now apparently after he brought this to light, people on Twitter and such have been bringing up his past that included his own sexual assault violations and comments about not dating black girls, because that’s what the internet does.

So, what’s his response to all of this? Well, he took to Twitter last night again (right in the middle of a Rams-Niners SHOOT OUT) and reminded all of the ladies out there that if they’re a “beautiful REAL WOMAN”, he’s down to smash.

And just like that Albert Haynesworth is back in our lives. Color doesn’t matter when you’re just a squirrel trying to get a nut.


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