Let Us Gather Together and Appreciate Just How Brutal ‘The Book of Henry’ Reviews Are

Whether he likes it or not — and by the sounds of it, he really resents it — Colin Trevorrow has become the unofficial symbol for white male privilege in Hollywood who isn’t called Max Landis. After making a respectable splash on the indie scene with his minor hit Safety Not Guaranteed, the director was spotted by Brad Bird, who told Stephen Spielberg that he reminded him of himself. Cue the Jurassic World gig, signalling one the industry’s more glaring examples of supporting a white male in a way the rest of us would never get. Trevorrow himself admitted that directing the $ 150m Summer tent-pole sequel to one of the most influential films of all time was akin to graduate school, where he was able to learn on the job, which didn’t endear him to many. Cue Jurassic World, a grossly cynical and perfunctorily shot piece of «good enough» work that reduces women to sobbing props and dino fodder while pretending its overt product placement is satire, making $ 1.6bn, and Trevorrow landing the Star Wars gig. In between that, he worked hard to pretend meritocracy exists, that women didn’t get opportunities like him because they preferred to keep their indie integrity, and The Book of Henry.

Written by author Gregg Hurwitz, the warning signs of this inevitable flop were evident from the moment the release date was moved from September 2016 to June 2017. The initial trailer added further confusion to the plate, with its bizarre tonal mix of saccharine family drama and murder revenge thriller. And now, the embargo has been lifted. Guess what? It’s terrible! I take no joy in this. Much. But let us gather together and appreciate just how bad this film is. You know, Disney, it’s not too late to replace Trevorrow with literally anyone else?

Some of these reviews contain big spoilers, so tread cautiously if this is a film you do want to see.

Pajiba (Kristy Puchko):


«This movie is not only ungodly long, astoundingly senseless, and emotionally stunted, but also weirdly sexist… Book of Henry will unfurl as if Spielberg were a sociopath, unconnected to empathy and unclear on what wonder really is… This story shows such a shocking misunderstanding of human emotions that you might suspect it was made from a robot that just upgraded from playing chess to tone-deaf Twitter botting. It’s so insipid and punishing and deplorable that I feel I’m owed hazard pay for enduring it.«

Austin Chronicle (Josh Kupecki):


«What then, to make of The Book of Henry, one of the most ill-conceived films I have seen in recent memory… At the point in the film where Watts’ Susan is running through the forest with a sniper rifle, I was out. The Book of Henry is the most misguided film since the 2003 Gary Oldman abomination Tiptoes. Trevorrow is slated to helm an upcoming Star Wars film, so y’all have fun with that.»

Slant Magazine (Keith Watson):


«Schmaltzy, manipulative, and tonally schizophrenic, The Book of Henry is such a monumentally misguided venture that it ends up being oddly, if unintentionally, compelling… It’s the final gallingly cynical move in a film that consistently attempts to pass off sentimentalism as profundity.»

Variety (Owen Gleiberman):


«There’s the kind of bad movie that just sits there, unfolding with grimly predictable monotony. Then there’s the kind where the badness expands and metastasizes, taking on a jaw-dropping life of its own, pushing through to ever-higher levels of garishness. «The Book of Henry,» directed by Colin Trevorrow from Gregg Hurwitz’s script, is of the latter, you’ve-got-to-see-it-to-disbelieve-it variety.»

Boston Globe (Ty Burr):


«»The Book of Henry» tugs on your heartstrings like a cable technician yanking a stubborn wire through a wall. Accordingly, it is completely insane. The plot proceeds from the charming to the manipulative to the shameless to the demented in gentle steps that may lull some audiences the way a frog can be boiled to death by degrees. Others may watch this movie through their fingers, suspended in the delight that can attend a truly wrongheaded movie.»

Hollywood Reporter (John DeFore):


«Trevorrow went out on some limbs also in his first feature, Safety Not Guaranteed. There, though, he was making a Sundance-ready indie with actors who knew their way around the intersection of ironic quirks and real soul-searching. Here, the idiom of the wholesome family film makes no room for the cheap caper-flick stuff Hurwitz wants to sell us. And the compounding coincidences he requires in order to deliver a happy ending are almost disgustingly dishonest

Screen Daily (Tim Grierson):


«A nervy, wilfully preposterous study of motherhood and loss, The Book Of Henry recklessly shifts between tones and genres, never predictably but rarely satisfyingly… Few films aspire to be both a mawkish tearjerker and a Hitchcockian thriller, and The Book Of Henry makes a pretty convincing case why more shouldn’t.«

The Film Stage (Daniel Schindel):


«Watching The Book of Henry feels like being gaslit. You want to yell at the screen «This is absurd! Henry’s recorded instructions for Susan predict when she’ll turn the wrong way down the street! Is there going to be any acknowledgement of how insane this is?!» while the movie calmly insists that this is all perfectly natural. That kind of rubbernecking-a-car-crash feeling is the only possible reason to recommend the film, if you’re into that, for whatever reason. Going forward, Colin Trevorrow hopefully won’t be put in charge of anything too impor — oh, Jesus, that’s right.«





Pajiba

The Jury In The Cosby Sexual Assault Trial Is Deadlocked

cosbysexualassaulttrialdeadlocked

We haven’t really covered the Bill Cosby rape trial, because only so many palate-cleansing puppy videos exist on YouTube. But on June 5, a jury in Norristown, PA began hearing the criminal case against Bill Cosby. Like a thousand other women (I’m obviously underestimating that number), Andrea Constand, the former director of operations for Temple University’s women’s basketball team, accused Ole’ Sleazy Puddin’ Pop of drugging and sexually assaulting her at his mansion near Philadelphia in January 2004. Cosby was hit with three charges of aggravated indecent assault. The trial lasted six days and most of that was spent on the prosecution presenting their case. Cosby’s defense team only took six minutes to present their case and called one witness. I’m surprised they took six minutes. That seems like a long time. I would think they’d just tell the jury, “Now, do you really think that the beloved TV dad you grew up with would ever be guilty of something other than wearing wacky sweaters?!” Cosby didn’t testify.

CNN says that the jury started deliberating on Monday night and after spending a total of 31 hours trying to decide if he’s guilty or innocent, they shuffled into court today to shrug at the judge and let him know they are deadlocked.

The jury, which is made up of 5 women and 7 men, asked six questions during their 31 hours of trying to unanimously agree on a verdict. Two jurors asked to review what Cosby told authorities when he was interviewed about Andrea Constand’s accusation. Two other jurors wanted to hear Andrea Constand’s testimony again. They still can’t agree and today, Judge Steven T. O’Neill, told them to go back and try again, but before he did, he read them the Pennsylvania Standard Jury Instruction 2.09.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I remind you that in order to return a verdict on any charge you must agree unanimously on that specific charge. Each of you has a duty to consult with one another and to deliberate with a view to reaching an agreement if it can be done without violence to your individual judgment.

However, each of you must decide this case for yourself after an impartial consideration of the evidence with your fellow jurors. While you should not hesitate to reexamine your own views and change your opinion if you are convinced that your opinion is erroneous, do not feel compelled to surrender your honest belief as to the weight or effect of the evidence solely because of the opinion of your fellow jurors for the mere purpose of returning a verdict.

If the jury comes back and decides Cosby’s guilty, he faces up to 10 years for each charge. He’s 79 years old, so that would be a life sentence, pretty much. But it’s looking like it’s going to be a hung jury. Judge Steven will declare a mistrial if that happens. Before the jury showed up in the courtroom today, Cosby’s defense team asked for a mistrial to be declared. Judge Steven shat on that request.

This is bad, depressing news for many including Andrea Constand and the other women. But if a mistrial is declared and prosecutors decide to try him again, that’ll be good news for Keshia Knight Pulliam since she’ll get even more chances to shamelessly work the cameras in front of the courthouse (see: above).

Pic: Backgrid

Dlisted

Reddit Asks The Question: What Is Surprisingly NOT Bullshit?

Scrunch up that nose. Narrow those eyes. It’s time to get your sceptical face on, as Reddit asks the question: What is surprisingly NOT bullshit?

oohaargh

A window blew out in the cockpit of a British Airways flight at 17000 feet, sucking the captain out of the window.
His feet snagged on the controls, leaving his body flapping around half outside of the aeroplane.
A steward held onto his belt whilst the first officer landed the flight, all with this guy dangling out of the window.
Somehow everyone was fine.

pundemic

Nausea can sometimes be fixed by moving your head through a set of positions to readjust the crystals in your inner ear.

_Occams-Chainsaw_

This was the first comment in this thread which made me think ‘that sounds like bullshit’ to the extent that I read up on it a little.
Of course, you’re absolutely right — as is entirely appropriate for the thread!
For those who share my initial scepticism, but can’t be arsed to search:
Dizziness and nausea can be caused by loose crystals — otoconia — in the inner ear causing what’s known as Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo, or BPPV.
This can be alleviated by moving the crystals using the Epley Manoeuvre.
Thank you for showing me something new!

lbrandy

Placebos.
Placebos work even when you know it’s a placebo.
Colorful placebos are stronger than white placebos.
Expensive placebos are stronger than cheap placebos.
Large placebos are stronger than small placebos.
Painful placebos are stronger than painless placebos.
Placebos are stronger today than they were in the past. And getting stronger.
edit:
some people asked for sources… these are not scientific but it’ll get you started:
[1], [2], [3], [4], [5] , here and don’t forget to look at «Search by State.» You may not have anything coming to you… but you might!

Scrappy_Larue

If the race is long enough, the human will outrun the horse.

Omar__Coming

actually any animal! humans are the best long distance runners
edit: check this thread for more info

DoitFTB

When Mt. Everest was first measured it was exactly 29,000 ft. Since the scientists assumed that most people would call bullshit on their measurements they actually wrongly added a couple feet.

clear9999

That Orcas are considered a natural predator of Moose.
Killer whales (Orcinus orca) are the moose’s only known marine predator as they have been known to prey on moose swimming between islands out of North America’s Northwest Coast, however, there is at least one recorded instance of a moose preyed upon by a Greenland Shark.

[deleted]

One of the most venomous animals in the world is a snail.

NoxiousDogCloud

Geographic Cone Snail, found in Australia and other Pacific regions. It’s toxin is so potent it can cause immediate paralysis in it’s prey (fish). There is no antivenin, and the course of treatment is life support until the body can flush the toxin. Which it does by shitting, pissing, and vomiting itself empty.

scottcmu

One day I came home from work and there was this little white box sitting on the counter. I asked my wife, «What is this thing?»
She said, «It’s a box that emits a high pitched sound that only cats can hear and it will keep Spike off the counters.»
Me: «How much did you pay for this magic box?»
Wife: «It was fifty bucks.»
Me: «FIFTY DOLLARS FOR A MAGIC FUCKING BOX THAT’S NOT GOING TO FUCKING WORK? CAN YOU RETURN IT?»
Wife: «Let’s just see if it works and I’ll return it if it doesn’t.»
I ate my fucking words. This was 10 years ago, and my cat got up on the counter ONE time after we got the box and then never again. The box doesn’t even work anymore. I think it’s not even plugged in anyway. Still, the cat won’t go near it. Sorcery.

gooze31

One of an octopus’ tentacles is actually a penis and can detach it and throw it at its mate, where she can inseminate herself.
«Here, go fuck yourself.»
Edit: Wow didn’t expect to get so much attention and thanks for the gold! I realize there is one specific species of octopus (Argonaut) that has a detachable penis.

[deleted]

in the cold war the US had plans to drop Magnum size condoms labeled as «regular» on russia to demoralize the population.
permalink

llobster

Operation Frank Reynolds

disgustipated

The CIA spent $ 20 million on creating spy cats, by surgically stuffing eavesdropping equipment in cats and dropping them off near Soviet embassies.
The first cat they released was run over by a taxi and killed before it could reach its target.
The CIA, of course, denies the cat was killed; they stated, «the equipment was taken out of the cat; the cat was re-sewn for a second time, and lived a long and happy life afterwards.»
Yeah, I bet it’s still on the farm, playing with my childhood dog.
Operation Acoustic Kitty

shrub_-_rocketeer

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are not Identical twins!

John-AtWork

64% of Canadians Live South of Seattle

mpmmuirhead

There are more trees on earth than stars in the galaxy.
Edit: since there are a lot requests for proof/people who just don’t believe me I will oblige.

~100 billion stars

> 3 trillion trees

techniforus

One of my favorite is about the number of unique orders for cards in a standard 52 card deck.
I’ve seen a a really good explanation of how big 52! actually is.
Set a timer to count down 52! seconds (that’s 8.0658×1067 seconds)
Stand on the equator, and take a step forward every billion years
When you’ve circled the earth once, take a drop of water from the Pacific Ocean, and keep going
When the Pacific Ocean is empty, lay a sheet of paper down, refill the ocean and carry on.
When your stack of paper reaches the sun, take a look at the timer.
The 3 left-most digits won’t have changed. 8.063×1067 seconds left to go. You have to repeat the whole process 1000 times to get 1/3 of the way through that time. 5.385×1067 seconds left to go.
So to kill that time you try something else.
Shuffle a deck of cards, deal yourself 5 cards every billion years
Each time you get a royal flush, buy a lottery ticket
Each time that ticket wins the jackpot, throw a grain of sand in the grand canyon
When the grand canyon’s full, take 1oz of rock off Mount Everest, empty the canyon and carry on.
When Everest has been levelled, check the timer.
There’s barely any change. 5.364×1067 seconds left. You’d have to repeat this process 256 times to have run out the timer.

——

Petr Knava lives in London and plays music

Pajiba

Charlize Theron Might Be Doing Halle Berry’s Ex 

wenn31563450

Apologies to those of you lovers of lady-on-lady action who are now dealing with a case of disappointed genitals because you only read a piece of that headline and thought this was going to be a post about Charlize Theron scissoring with Halle Berry.

It’s been about two years since Charlize Theron finally pulled herself out of the dickmatized haze she was in and broke up with barbecued Snausage of rage Sean Penn. OK! Magazine (via The Daily Mail) says that Charlize’s cooze has moved on to Gabriel Aubry, the hot blond model piece who was in a chunky shit storm of a fight over custody and child support with Halle Berry. That fight hit peak WRECK when Halle’s new man Olivier Martinez punched the pretty out of Gabriel on Thanksgiving. And now he may be wet humping on Charlize.

A source says that Gabriel’s daughter with Halle, 9-year-old Nahla, and Charlize’s son, 5-year-old Jackson, go to the same private school in L.A., so they see each other all the time. Not too long ago, they went from parents who wave at each other in the pickup line to parents who wave goodbye at each other in the morning after fucking all night. The source says that they have a lot in common. She’s a tall hot blonde, he’s a tall hot blonde, lots in common!

“They are really into each other. It’s still the early days so they want to keep things discreet, but they have a genuine connection and obviously a huge attraction. They bonded at play dates and parenting events. Then the flirting turned into romance. They’ve had dinner together a few times and talk often when they’re not together. Gabriel’s trying to play it cool but Charlize is smitten. The more they get to know each other the more they realize they have a lot in common.”

On May 27, 41-year-old Charlize and 40-year-old Gabriel took their kids to the Santa Monica Pier and the paps got pictures of them. This picture may look like Charlize is hugging on Gabriel, but she’s actually holding her daughter August.

You know Halle Berry is calling up her legal team right now to see if she can drag Gabriel back to court and ask to pay him less child support since it looks like he got a new job (aka a new sugar mama).

This is coming from OK! and those pictures don’t prove shit, so in order to fully believe this, I’m going to need to see receipts in the form of a long, brightly lit HD, 3D sex tape starring these two blondies. And if Charlize really is boning Gabriel full-time, I bet her business mangers sent her a “congratulations on your new piece” gift basket filled with condoms, spermacide lube, birth control gummies and IUD coupons. Because the Gold Diggers’ Association of America didn’t name Gabriel Male Gold Digger of the Year in 2014 for nothing!

And since it’s been a while since I’ve posted pictures of Gabriel, here’s pics of him running down the street in March. Yes, I zoomed until I couldn’t zoom no more.

Pics: Wenn.com

Dlisted

See Inside a $22 million Residence at the Baccarat Hotel

Before Midtown’s Baccarat Hotel and Residences opened in 2015, it was safe to assume the 50-story namesake of a French manufacturer of fine crystal chandeliers wouldn’t skimp on the interior. Within six months of hitting the market, half of the residential units had been snapped up sight unseen. 

They didn’t disappoint. Today, just two of the Baccarrat residences are up for grabs – including this $ 22 million Douglas Elliman listing, designed by Cheryl Eisen at Interior Marketing Group. While the 14-foot windows and gobsmacking views spanning the World Trade Center and Central Park are the crowning jewel of this 4-bedroom, 4,557-square-foot glass castle on the 47th floor, the Baccarat chandelier illuminating the foyer is hard to ignore. Nearly every surface in the home reflects some precious material, with iceberg-white granite countertops and glass cabinets in the kitchen, bathrooms outfitted in Siberian polished marble, down to Baccarat crystal doorknobs.

 Along with a catalog’s worth of Baccarat glass, the home comes 24-hour access to hotel hospitality. Amenities include the Spa de La Mer, which exclusively dispenses kelp-based La Mer products and, naturally, crystal facials, and an indoor cabana-lined swimming pool. For dining options, however, residents may have to venture outside the building: the shuttered Chevalier restaurant space remains unoccupied

The post See Inside a $ 22 million Residence at the Baccarat Hotel appeared first on DuJour.

DuJour

Room Request! The Moorings Village

Tucked away among the palm trees and mangroves of Islamorada—halfway between Miami and Key West—you’ll find the postcard-perfect Moorings Village resort. The 18-acre property is comprised of individual cottages that sit on a former coconut plantation, and boasts one of the largest stretches of private, white-sand beach in the area.

Each residence is elegantly decorated and fully equipped with a kitchen and numerous amenities, making them perfect for longer stays. Whether you’re into kayaking or windsurfing, or simply prefer to relax in a hammock overlooking the ocean, there is no shortage of activities here.

Sample local seafood at the Beach Café in Morada Bay, and for a finer dining experience don’t miss Pierre’s, a two-story plantation house serving French fusion cuisine and unbeatable sunset views.

Pierre’s

Debbie Pribyl, General Manager at the resort, offers a glimpse inside the historic property.

What is the most requested room?

We have 18 individual villas to choose from, but the Maroni, an oceanfront beach house, is the most requested spot on the property.

Maroni Porch

What makes it so special?

The view and proximity of the expansive dock makes the Maroni house truly special. It has a large, wrap-around porch where guests can sit and enjoy a drink or stroll to their beach backyard.  

Honeymoon Suite

What is the rate?

The average rate is $ 1,299 per night.

What room is your personal favorite?

The Plantation villa. It’s a three bedroom, oceanfront home that is perfect for families; we’ve seen the same ones visit for decades!

Plantation villa

Any celebrity guests? 

From time to time, however, the privacy of our guests is very guarded (Netflix’s Bloodline was filmed at the resort, and fans will recognize the property as The Rayburn House on the show).

Moorings Tamb Scout

Any fun facts about the hotel?

The Parker, Pinder, Cothron, Russell and Albright villas were all named after the founding families of Islamorada, and some of the original cottages have been there since the 1930s. 

The post Room Request! The Moorings Village appeared first on DuJour.

DuJour

Cosby Accuser Lili Bernard Confronts His Supporters, Tells Them ‘God Bless You’

As the jury in Bill Cosby’s trial remains deadlocked, Lili Bernard, one of the dozens of women who has accused him of drugging and raping her, got into an emotional confrontation with his supporters outside the courthouse. In tears, Bernard told one man what Cosby did to her, then approached a line of people carrying…

Read more…


Jezebel

Katy Perry Doesn’t Care About Awards

Katy Perry leaves Le Meurice Hotel in Paris

Katy Perry is still out there promoting Witness and her latest stop was a deep interview with The New York Times about her “purposeful pop.” One such revelation was that she doesn’t care about awards. There may be some singers who crave the validation that comes from their pile of Grammys, but Katy claims she isn’t one of them.

You can read the entire interview here. She talks a lot about how she’s living her life like a Deepak Chopra pocket mantra guide. Katy is on a quest for realness, or rather staying away from things that are “not real,” like awards and awards shows.

“All the awards shows are fake. And all the awards that I’ve won are fake,” she added, explaining that they don’t represent the audience. “They’re constructs.”

Katy’s Teen Choice Awards must feel so unloved. Speaking of things that are fake, she talks about her new identity and what happened to the old sexy candy pin-up Katy Perry.

“I didn’t kill her, because I love her, and she is exactly what I had to do then. And I’m not a con artist, I didn’t con people, like, that was just me. And this is me now.”

“I feel very empowered, extremely liberated, liberated from the conditioning of the way I used to think, spiritually liberated, politically liberated, sexually liberated, liberated from things that don’t serve me.”

She also commented on all the heat she took for her performance on SNL in which she performed with LGBTQ-averse Migos and drag queens, but not at the same time.

“Intention is everything. All I was trying to do is build a bridge.”

Trying isn’t the same as actually doing. My guess is she gave up and put down her hammer when she saw Migos cringing at the thought of crossing the same bridge as non-straights, and realized she might as well not waste her time. And time is a very precious thing for Katy. 98% of her schedule consists of talking about Taylor Swift. That doesn’t leave a whole lot of spare time for side projects like bridge construction.

Pic: Wenn.com

Dlisted

1 2 3 7