Thanks To That Bloody Trump Mask Pic, The Dynamic New Year’s Eve Duo Of Kathy Griffin And Anderson Cooper Is No More
It hasn’t even been 24 hours since Kathy Griffin caused everyone to lose their heads (I see you eye-rolling at my very original pun) over her holding a repurposed Michael Myers mask covered with grenadine syrup in the name of art, and she’s already on her way to joining Billy Bush in the section marked: Tricks Who Get Punished As An Untouched Trump Gleefully Coqueefs Along.
Kathy ended up apologizing for the stunt and said that she knows she fucked up. But it wasn’t enough. Kathy lost an extremely lucrative deal to continue to hawk the shit-aiding toilet ottoman known as Squatty Potty. (You know you really shit the bed when a poop tool product doesn’t even want to be associated with you.) And now CNN has dropped Kathy as co-host of their New Year’s Eve special.
New Year’s Eve will no longer be the same without The Silver Fox turning into The Red Fox as he blushes over a rated PG-13 nugget coming out of Kathy’s mouth. CNN announced today that after almost 10 years of Kathy co-hosting their New Year’s Eve show, they are done with her. Well, at least we still have Drunk Don Lemon.
CNN has terminated our agreement with Kathy Griffin to appear on our New Year's Eve program.
— CNN Communications (@CNNPR) May 31, 2017
Even Anderson Cooper didn’t defend his ginger sidekick.
For the record, I am appalled by the photo shoot Kathy Griffin took part in. It is clearly disgusting and completely inappropriate.
— Anderson Cooper (@andersoncooper) May 31, 2017
As for Trump…. When Ted Nugent said that President Obama should be hung and “suck on his machine gun,” Donald Trump defended the popped pimple clinging to America’s b-hole by saying he was just using a figure of speech. But when Kathy held up a rubber mask covered with red corn syrup, Trump tweeted that she should be ashamed of herself and that she upset his 11-year-old son Barron Trump. That tweet was a preview to the story that Trump’s gay boo, Harvey Levin, and TMZ told.
TMZ says that yesterday, Barron was watching TV with Melania Trump when he saw the picture of everyone’s 2017 Halloween costume. Barron really thought that Kathy was holding the actual head of his dad and screamed, “Mommy! Mommy!”
All of this over a Tyler Shields photo shoot?! To quote Kathy’s jewel of a mother: GODDAMMIT, JESUS H. CHRIST, KATHLEEN!
And well, hopefully Squatty Potty gave Kathy plenty of its product and she’s got it stashed all over her house. Because since Trump is probably going to pull the U.S. out of the Paris climate deal, L.A. will be underwater one day and Kathy can use them to float. So there’s that!
Target makes some of the best affordable apparel around, and it’s even more affordable right now. They’re running a BOGO 50% off on select dresses, which include the Who What Wear collection (but sadly, not the Victoria Beckham collab). Pick up your new favorite summer dress and get another one for half-off.
1) Much like the Community D&D episode (I count only the first one given that the second one was, even with the inclusion of Mike Ehrmantraut and Tobias Fünke, not that good), it’s clear that some, if not all, of the players in the game genuinely like D&D. Which is important for all of these «nerdy» kinds of episodes. The fun of D&D is that it doesn’t actually take itself too seriously. The players are always in on the joke. Making them the butt of the joke ruins it. Plus then you don’t get to hear Major say things like, «Oh no, my first name is Sir.» Well played, Major Lillywhite. Well played.
2) This might be the first time in the history of the show that we haven’t discovered who the murderer is. It makes real life sense that Seattle PD would, upon discovering that a murdered hacker had a secret computer room and possibly hacked Russian energy plants, hand off that case to the FBI, but it was a little jarring to not have the murder wrapped up. I expected until the last seconds that some sort of vision would solve the case. Oh well.
3) Part of the «oh, well» is directly related to how irrelevant it made that game of D&D within the larger story. I know that Liv had the vision that ultimately discovered the door while playing D&D, but that could have happened at any time. Other Rob Thomas was trying to shoehorn the game into the show, and I’m into it.
4) So Jason Dohring is just on this show now, right? I don’t know why they aren’t playing this angle up, but Logan Echolls is back, yes? It’s only a matter of time before Martin Starr shows up, and I cannot wait. If Adam Scott pops up any place, I will lose my shit. More importantly, I’m very glad there’s no indication of a romantic plot between Liv and Chase because this show won’t hold any more earnest yearning.
5) Speaking of, what’s up with Liv and Major? I mean, I get their whole relationship kind of. I more so mean, who thinks this is how things happen? There was the original, devastating break-up, a few getting back togethers, he’s a zombie/she’s a zombie, can they make it works, and now, mere weeks after they slept together, Liv is dating Major’s best work friend? Does any of that make any sense in the real world? Has there ever been a couple that’s actually that cool with being friends afterward? Because we might have to face the fact that Other Rob Thomas just isn’t that great at writing relationships. The show’s been on for three seasons, and Liv’s got two dead boyfriends. Are we ever going to talk about poor Dead Boyfriend #1 and #2?
6) Also this week’s relationships took a super weird turn into stalker territory. Specifically how all of the dudes in the murder victims D&D group were waaaaaaaaaaay too into poor Zoe. Straight Gentlemen, the next time you start to complain about how women aren’t into nerdy guys and never give them a chance, I want you to carefully consider the guys in your group and determine which one would get a full back tattoo of a woman they are not dating. Do you know at least one? Then you’ve identified your problem.
Before anyone starts getting snippy in the comments, women aren’t inherently opposed to sex or dating. In fact, most of us are into it. What we don’t like is being lied to. And every time a dude holds a secret, but inappropriately deep, affection for a woman he purports to be «just friends» with, he’s lying to her. It doesn’t feel flattering or nice when the crush is finally revealed. It feels like the entirety of our previous friendship was a deception intent on getting what you really wanted. Also, HOW WERE YOU PLANNING TO EXPLAIN THE GIANT BACK TATTOO THE FIRST TIME YOU SLEPT WITH ZOE, WEIRD GUY? DID YOU THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER TO PRETEND YOU WAITED UNTIL AFTER THE THIRD DATE TO PERMANENTLY TAG YOUR BODY WITH HER NAME AND LIKENESS? AT WHAT POINT WOULD THAT TATTOO STOP BEING A THING ABOUT WHICH YOU ARE EMBARRASSED? I’m trying to say, the show didn’t properly highlight just how terrible it was that a group of «friends» were wildly and intentionally assholes about one of their other «friends.» Not cool, Other Rob Thomas.
7) Almost everything is forgiven if we get to see Clive play D&D again. He should be a Dwarf Fighter always.
Last week, Dani Mathers, the former Playboy Playmate/current real life villain, accepted a community service plea deal after being charged with invasion of privacy for using Snapchat to body shame a naked woman at her gym. Dani recently sat down with Kayna Whitworth for Good Morning America to cry about how awful her life is now.
Dani say she’s lost any privacy she had (the irony), and has been receiving death threats ever since the news broke about her shitty Snapchat choices last year. She has also been forced to – horrified gasp – hide out at her mommy’s house. That has made her feel “really low.” She also attempted to take a tiny bit of responsibility for her garbage actions.
“I didn’t have an intention of breaking a law. I just wasn’t thinking, to be honest. My intention was to reply to the conversation I was having with my friend. I know the difference between right and wrong and I chose wrong.”
Dani also swears she never meant any harm to the woman she body shamed. Apparently Dani has attempted to reach out to the woman to apologize to her in person, but the woman wants nothing to do with her. Dani says she hopes the woman could forgive her. She also apologized again for creating this mess.
“I just want her to be able to move on and move forward in her life and not feel judged, or that what she was doing was being ridiculed, because it had nothing to do with that and I’m so sorry.”
Dani Mathers wasn’t really known before all of this happened, but now she’s extremely famous. Dani doesn’t like that it happened this way.
“It feels very backwards, that’s for sure. It feels – it doesn’t feel right…That’s not how I’m gonna choose to remember my life and my career. This is something that I’m never going to forget happened. I’m going to continue learning and growing from.”
Dani doesn’t say how long she’s had to hide out at her mother’s house, but Dani needs to take a minute to realize that situation sucks way more for her mom. We all know how Dani gets around older naked women. I bet Mother Mathers had an awfully stiff neck from looking over her shoulder whenever she got changed to make sure her daughter wasn’t there taking a stealth photo. You never know when Dani will have her next not-thinking moment.
Pic: ABC News
If you run a site for 13 years, you’ll make some mistakes along the way. Sometimes, you write something and regret it the second after it goes up. Sometimes, you realize after the first or second comment that your entire thesis has been misinterpreted. Sometimes, breaking news arrives 20 minutes after a post goes up that transforms an innocent post into something it wasn’t designed to be.
There are other times when a writer posts something that’s plain bad or sure to generate a massive hellscape of emails and negative comments. Sometimes a post sneaks through while I’m away on a weekend or not around at night. Sometimes, I let something through that I shouldn’t.
I need not go into specifics, but these mistakes are made from time to time. It’s mostly a rarity these days because we’re more in tune with what is appropriate and what isn’t.
When you’re a publisher, however, what you don’t do is throw your writer under the bus. Delete the post? Sure. Apologize. Absolutely! Clarify, if possible. Remove the post before anyone notices and then answer emails from the 5 people who saw it before it went down? Definitely!
But don’t publicly shit on the writer. That’s just tacky. And shitty. And shut up, it’s your site, so barring a hack, anything that goes up is ultimately your responsibility.
To wit: Chris Spraggs of Barstool Sports, which I understand was already a worthless, shitty bro site, posted this:
That is a bad take. A seriously bad take. Like, the worst bad take.
But we’ve occasionally written an inflammatory headline designed to enrage our readers only to calm them with the actual content. Nothing on that level, mind you, but we do love a good troll post.
But the text to that article? NOT BETTER.
With all the fat acceptance and «love me as I am» crowd, there’s definitely a world where I could see chicks see Rihanna make some strong «I don’t give a fuck I just love pizza» quote that goes viral and bam we’re in a world where all the hottest girls look like the humans in Wall-E. And just in time for summer too. A world of ladies shaped like the Hindenburg loaded into one-piece bathing suits may be on the horizon now that Rihanna is traipsing around out there looking like she’s in a sumo suit. It’s a dangerous precedent and you may want to start adjusting your porn browsing to primarily BBW porn to condition yourself to this dystopian future we now face.
Oh, man. How does anyone who has written for the Internet or read the Internet, ever, think that is an acceptable post to write on any site?
As an editor or a publisher, how do you deal with something that egregiously awful? I hope I never have to find out, but I think I’d probably delete the post immediately, remove all Tweets and FB posts, issue an apology if more than 6 people saw it, and pray to God that it blows over. Meanwhile, I’d have a conversation with the writer of that post and, if necessary, let the writer go and never speak of it again.
What you don’t do, however, is wait for the bus to come speeding by and toss the writer immediately under the wheels, as the founder of Barstrool Sports, Dave Portnoy, did in a blog post.
And truthfully the facts are there is a double standard at this company. If Big Cat or PFT or KFC or I write this blog I’ll defend it to the death. They have earned that trust and loyalty from me. I hired them because I think they are all legitimacy hilarious people. However as I’ve said many times Spags wasn’t originally hired to be a personality at Barstool. He should not be writing blogs that we as a company end up having to defend. And I’ve been doing this long enough to know that somewhere down the line this blog will be dug up again and used as an example of our extreme sexism. Frankly that’s not a hill I’m willing to die on. I’ll choose a different guy and a different blog to go to war for. Just like how the risk wasn’t worth the reward in writing this, the risk isn’t worth the reward defending it either. That’s called being a leader. I make the decisions nobody else has the stomach to make.
That’s not called «being a leader,» Dave. That’s called being an asshole. You’re pulling a Trump, and blaming everyone else but yourself. It’s your fucking website, dude. And if «Big Cat or PFT or KFC» had written that post, you shouldn’t be defending them, either, because it’s a shitty post and a shitty take no matter who the author is. But then Dave Portnoy — who has written that «a sleeping woman groped on a Delta flight was ‘begging’ for it and co-opted a quotation from the Holocaust memorial to argue that skinny jeans are ruining women’s asses» might not really understand the nature of «extreme sexism» in the first place.
Image Source: Getty / Anwar Hussein
Seven days after Princess Diana’s tragic death in August 1997, she was honored with a public funeral that remains one of the most watched events in history. Millions of people crowded the streets of London to follow the route of Diana’s coffin from Kensington Palace along Hyde Park to St. James’s Palace, passing Buckingham Palace and observing her memory in a ceremony at Westminster Abbey. Later that day, Diana was taken to her final resting place at her childhood home, the Spencer estate in Althorp.
Image Source: Getty / Barry King
Though many attended her funeral, the Princess of Wales was buried privately; the only people present were a close friend, her mother and siblings, Prince Charles, William, Harry, and a clergyman. Diana wore a black dress by Catherine Walker and held on to a rosary given to her by Mother Teresa (who, sadly, died the same week as Diana). She was laid to rest on a small island in the middle of a lake at Althorp. The family estate is located about 70 miles from London in the town of Northampton, UK, and spans nearly 13,000 acres. Built in 1508, then-Lady Diana Spencer moved to the lavish home when her father, John Spencer, inherited the earl title in 1975. When he passed in 1992, Diana’s brother Charles took the title as well as operation over the estate.
Image Source: Getty / Barry King
After her death, Earl Spencer decided that her gravesite was better off at Althorp than at their family vault in the local church, because it could be more easily cared for and, most importantly, offered better privacy for William and Harry to visit. Before his wedding to Kate Middleton in April 2011, William is said to have brought Kate to visit Diana’s gravesite, where they reportedly laid flowers. The island where Diana’s grave sits is accessed by a path of 36 trees — one for every year of her life — and black swans and white roses float in the water. It also holds a tall monument dedicated to the princess, as well as a temple for visitors to pay their respects. On either side of the template is a tablet; one is engraved with the tribute Prince Charles gave at her funeral, and the other has quotes from Diana about her love and commitment to charity work. In 2015, Earl Spencer and his wife, Karen, Countess Spencer, set forth a huge revamp of the property where Diana is buried — the first in 350 years. It is scheduled to be done just before the 20th anniversary of her death in August 2017.
Deadline reports that Fox announced that Vanessa Hudgens, former star of Disney and noted rock vandal, got herself a gig as a judge on the fourteenth season of So You Think You Can Dance. The judging panel will be comprised of the owner of the most British name, Nigel Lythgoe, and the cheer-bot built out of scrap parts collected from Marie Osmond and Paula Abdul, Mary Murphy. Vanessa was in a promo for SYTYCD a few weeks ago, and they called her a “guest judge,” but it turns out she’s a permanent judge. The new season premieres on June 12th. Nigel released a statement about Vanessa joining the panel.
“I am so excited for Vanessa to join Mary and me on the judging panel for the 14th season of So You Think You Can Dance. There was instant chemistry in the audition rounds, and I know the SYTYCD fans will love her as much as we do. Vanessa is an accomplished artist and brings her own brand of enthusiasm and energy to our panel.”
Vanessa has never formally judged a TV show before (she appeared once on Project Runway), and she may not be that well known for her dance skills. But she did do some decent “hoofing” (as it’s known in the biz) in High School Musical and Grease: Live, and really, what greater qualifications do you need for reality TV? Vanessa tweeted that she’s “so excited!!!” for her new job. I’m sure she is. Vanessa’s last job was starring on NBCs Powerless, which was cancelled three episodes before the season finale. Thankfully there’s a lot more job security in reality competition shows. Especially dancing ones. You just can’t recreate the drama of dance in your bedroom in a video uploaded to YouTube.
At a Christie’s Hong Kong sale on Wednesday, a matte-white crocodile skin Birkin bag sold for $ 380,000, setting a record for the most ever fetched by one of Hermès’s trademark totes. While store-bought Birkins typically range from $ 12,000 to the lower six figures, this model belongs to a special breed of “Himalaya” Birkins, of which just one or two are produced yearly due to an extended dyeing process.
While Birkin bags, named for the French actress Jane Birkin, have long been a talisman for status-seekers, the allure of which no Real Housewife can resist, the resale market for Himalayans is particularly thirsty in Hong Kong, where several previous records have been broken in recent years.
In addition to its distinctive gray-and-white gradient, this bag also boasts 18 karat gold buckles and diamond-encrusted straps. While originally valued between $ 193,000-$ 258,000, the item quickly exceeded expectations, breaking the previous $ 300,000 record in just 15 minutes – an eternity compared to how long it took RHOBH’s Dorit Kemsley to snag hers.
After years of carefully curating screen time for our children, when I uncut the cord a couple months ago and switched back to cable, I got lazy. Instead of manually selecting streaming programs for my 5-year-old twins to watch, I found myself switching on Disney, Jr. or Sprout and just letting them watch commercial television for an hour after preschool each day.
Unfortunately, that strategy came home to roost over the weekend when my daughter began working commercial jingles into conversations, which is basically my wife’s worst nightmare. At lunch, for instance, my daughter would ask, «Dad! Can we got to Chuck E. Cheese! It has games and tickets, and we can celebrate 40 years of fun!» The girls had heretofore never heard of Chuck E. Cheese, and that was by design. Likewise, over the weekend when my daughter asked if we could go to the ocean, she worked in a famous commercial jingle. «♫Oceanwide is on your side♫.» They’d even began repeating a goddamn Oxiclean commercial. «Got stains, Dad! Oxiclean Max Force. Get the tough stains out!»
It wasn’t just the commercials, either. I don’t know what the hell they are showing on Disney Jr., but last week, one of my daughters could be heard calling her sister «Basic.» They are 5! How do they even know what «Basic» means?
Clearly, the unfettered access to Disney, Jr. had backfired, and I needed another option, preferably one that didn’t require that I demand of my children to turn the television off after their screentime was over, because no matter how much warning they have, it always ends in tears and emotional pleas. «One more minute, Dad! Can we just finish this show, Dad!» Because I am easily manipulated, and because «one more minute» or «one more show» often means 20 more minutes of silence, I am quick to relent to the pressure.
iPads are options for some parents, but those things are expensive, and no matter what kind of tank-like case you have surrounding it, kids will find a way to break those things. We trust the 9-year-old with an iPad mini, which he uses to mainline Doctor Who episodes (he made a Tom Baker reference in conversation the other day that felt like a sweet, sweet parenting victory), but we’ve gone through two iPads in the last 5 years, neither of which we spent much time on before they gave up the ghost. Likewise, iPhones are a terrible idea: Not only will your young children find a way to damage them, but 1) when you get them back, they’ll be streaked and smudged with toddler fingerprints (syrup, chocolate, apple sauce, granola stickiness), and 2) they’ll sneak into your goddamn bedrooms at 5 a.m. and steal your phone and you’ll wake up an hour late because they hid in a closet with your phone and stopped the alarm and never told you.
Anyway, last week, I finally found the perfect solution, one that some of you may already be aware of, but for others, it will change your life. It’s called Amazon FreeTime. Over Christmas, we bought the girls Amazon Kindle Fires because they were only $ 30 at the time, and because we thought they’d be great for long car rides. They’d get their own individual screen experiences, and wouldn’t spend half the car ride arguing over what to watch.
They worked fine, but still required full-time management of a parent in the front seat to switch programs or games, because the Fire comes preloaded with about 50 apps and no matter how many times you tell a child to JUST WATCH THE MOVIE AND DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE they’ll invariably end up stuck on one of dozens of worthless apps. They were kind of a pain in the ass, so unless we were on a car trip, they usually remained hidden away in a closet.
FreeTime, on the other hand, changed everything. It is the perfect app. It changes your Amazon Fire to a kid-friendly tablet that only houses the games, TV shows, and books that you approve.
It changes this:
You can manually choose what movies, TV shows, or books that you want, or you can allow it to only let your children watch those games and shows that are appropriate for their age. It’s very kid friendly, and very intuitive to even the youngest children, so you’re able to hand the tablet over to your kid and not hear from her again until the end of screentime.
But here’s the best part, and the thing I’ve always wanted: You can set a daily time limit. You can allot however much time you’d like (an hour on weekdays and 90 minutes on the weekends, for instance) and when that time is up, it’s over. The tablet shuts down. The parents don’t have to take anything away. There are no arguments or fights. It’s just done, and your kids can return to what they do best: Ask, «What can I do now, Dad?» repeatedly until you lose your goddamn mind. You can also set it so that it can only be accessed during certain hours of the day, so if 6:30 rolls around, and they’re still on: Bam. It goes down. «Sorry, sweetie. There’s nothing I can do about it! The Amazon goblins have shut it down for the day.»
FreeTime is not free (I think it’s $ 2.99 a month), but it’s worth it. If you have Amazon Prime, the kids can watch whatever is available on Amazon (and there is plenty) all sorted and limited by age. There’s also tons of free kids books and games (many of them are even educational!). Plus, if you buy movies on Amazon, all those are available to them on the app, as well. You can also download as much as your storage space allows for offline viewing while the kids are in the car.
It may not sound like much, but to parents with small children, it’s a goddamn miracle. An affordable, convenient and hassle-free miracle.